With Leonardo DiCaprio and Russell Crowe working in the service of a screenplay by William Monahan (The Departed), the CIA-vs.-terrorist thriller Body of Lies is roughly what you get when Warner Bros. throws a platinum-plated kitchen sink at Ridley Scott's Oscar curse. Except rough is only the half of it, according to a script review published Monday:
· Warner Bros. snapped up the rights to South Korean hit The Chaser, with The Departed writer William Monahan set to write the adaption, and Leonardo DiCaprio and the Really Obvious Departed Rat "circling to star." [Variety]
· John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph will star in an untitled "relationship comedy" written by Dave Eggers and his wife Vendela Vida, bringing Eggers one terrifying step closer to writing a Matthew McConaughey-Kate Hudson vehicle. [Variety]
· In case you missed it—and apparently many, many of you did—it was the Oscars last night. "The Awards averaged a 21.9 rating/33 share. That's down a sharp 21% from last year and the lowest on record in at least 20 years." [THR]
· Martin Scorsese and his widow-peaked muse Leonardo DiCaprio have pre-sold their latest collaboration, an adaptation of Dennis Lehane novel Shutter, to foreign markets for record-breaking amounts. Explained one Italian distribution rep, "That Leo. He, how do you say, nails hot models? And we love the little eyebrows-one, and his little movies. Very good!" [THR]
· The strike's over, but we were waiting for a deal like this one to really start celebrating: Sony bought 2012, an obnoxiously over-the-top end-of-the-world disaster flick that's going to cost at least $200 million for Roland Emmerich to make! Yay! The studios are back to hemorrhaging money again! [Variety]
· The Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror Films Saturn Awards nominations gave 300 the most nominations with ten, and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix a close second at nine. Flabbergasted producers of The Golden Compass responded by saying, "We had fucking talking-polar-bear fights! What else could you possibly be looking for?!" [Variety]
While individual celebrities each have their own, signature facial characteristics—the Clooney brow, the Damon eyes, the Streep nose—it would seem to us that with all the scientific advances now available (clone-morph/stem-cell/gene-splicing technologies or what have you, we're not exactly sure how all that wizardry works), that cherrypicking the best of what's out there and compressing the bits and pieces into one star-loaf is definitely the way to go. Apparently, Star magazine had the very same idea, as they've attempted the darned-near impossible:
Russell Crowe casually let it slip to an EW reporter, "You know, I worked with Leonardo when he was 17 on The Quick and the Dead. He was a virgin, and he'd talk about that constantly." DiCaprio's rep later laughed off the assertion, insisting the American Gangster star had gotten his wires crossed and that DiCaprio was "referring to skydiving at the time. He's been happily fucking models since he was 13." [Page Six]
· Attempting to keep vital a love affair they began back on the set of Gangs of New York, director Martin Scorcese and still-boyish muse Leonardo DiCaprio will reteam once again on Shutter Island, an adaptation of a Dennis Lehane novel about a U.S. Marshal investigating the disappearance of a dangerous crazy lady in the 1950s. [Variety]
· ABC picks up the back nine episodes for this season of Pushing Daisies, bringing their order to a full 22 hours of beautifully shot, expensively produced whimsy. You know, unless the writers fulfill the networks' secret wish to wipe out the rest of the TV season. [THR]
· ABC's Samantha Who? posts another "solid" Nielsen performance on Monday night, while NBC's Heroes set a new series low. Also: Dancing with the Stars wins the night behind Marie Osmond's dramatic fainting spell, leading producers to plan a stunt in which Jennie Garth will suffer an orchestrated, on-camera ankle fracture on next week's show. [Variety]
· The WGA, in an aggressive measure meant to show the studios that the protracted ball-tickling session that's defined the negotiations until now must come to an end, has redrafted and broadened their strike rules to now allow for "pug-faced studio types so much as looking at us funny." [Variety]
· Hollywood's dreamy consciences George Clooney and Leonardo DiCaprio may team up for Warner Bros.'s adaptation of Farragut North, a play loosely based on the Howard Dean campaign. (Sorry Jake, torture-lovers not invited to the party.) [Variety]
· The rumors are true! After 50 years, NBC is moving from its legendary plot in Burbank to a spot across the street from Universal Studios. NBC plans to sell the real estate to a single wholesale retail giant, who'll develop it into independent nation state Costcovia, where every man, woman, and child is guaranteed a pickle-barrel-sized container of mayonnaise. [Variety]
· Private Practice's audience continues to grow, and Pushing Daisies won its timeslot despite coming down from its premiere numbers. Bionic Woman, however continues to plunge steadily since its first week, throwing the future of Isaiah Washington's triumphant comeback into question. [THR]
· Medium creator Glenn Gordon Caron gets a two-year deal at CBS, mainly on the strength of his Patricia-Arquette's-Rack-in-3D initiatives. [THR]
· The trades mourn the recent silencing of their favorite of the Three Tenors. [Variety, THR] [THR]
· Scott Rudin beats out Warner Bros, Universal, Sony, and New Line for the movie rights to the historical novel I, Claudius, with Leo DiCaprio and his The Departed screenwriter William Monahan expected to jump ship from their failed WB bid to join the winning Rudin team. [Variety]
· The Agent Dance, East Coast Edition: NY-based CAA bigshot Bart Walker leaves the evil agenting monolith to form a talent management division at indie film powerhouse Cinetic. We expect reports of the mysterious torching of Walker's apartment to emerge shortly. [THR]
· Apple and Hollywood still can't decide whether to fuck or fight. [Variety]
· Studio execs head into the Toronto Film Festival with "fat wallets and a healthy appetite for product," ready to snap up any movie they think might make a buck during a possible strike by the guilds. [Variety]
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Mike Tyson requesting earlobe-consistency mochi topping on his Pinkberry frozen dessert.
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time Mike Tyson whipped out his own camera at the Farmers Market to request a photograph of you.
Last week, PR man Ken Sunshine went on Anderson Cooper's little house of 360 right after Larry King's interview of Paris Hilton to help dissect it all. Sunshine was an interesting choice for the program, since Paris Hilton is just the kind of client Sunshine seems to avoid!
· Contrary to a previous report, the head of Germany's Bundesanstalt fuer Immobilienaufgaben says that the government won't stop Tom Cruise and his Valkyrie production from shooting on their historical military sites because he's a Scientologist, and should grant the movie a film permit as long as Cruise promises that any massage-and-Dianetics tents he plans on installing on their set won't distract members of the Ministry of Defense from their day-to-day duties. [Variety]
· On Wednesday night, Fox's dancing competition triumphs over ABC's celebrity-impersonator and insane-inventor competitions, as well as NBC's struggling-comedian competition. Please, do yourself a favor and cover your television in a sheet that you swear not to remove until September. [THR]
· The following elements have been attached to Body of Lies, an adaptation of a CIA-set novel by David Ignatius: actor Russell Crowe; actor Leonardo DiCaprio; director Ridley Scottl screenwriter William Monahan. [Variety]
· Do you ache for more Tom Selleck MOW appearances? Suffer no more, for CBS has ordered another installment of the actor's Jesse Stone series. [THR]
· Hunky-but-still-serious actor Ryan Gosling joins Mummy refugee Rachel Weisz in Peter Jackson's adaptation of The Lovely Bones. [Variety]
In today's Gimme Shelter, Braden Keil says that Leonardo DiCaprio, the greatest actor of your slightly older brother's generation, has rented a TriBeCa duplex whilst filming potentially the greatest film of your generation, Revolutionary Road. Research reveals that the $35K a month duplex must be that old chestnut 51 Walker Street. What's more, the 1A condo was on the market with a $7.5 million asking price—but apparently what Leo wants to rent, Leo rents. Though there's no self-closing toilet seat, there is a "cyber doorman," and a 21-foot pool in the backyard. Floor plans!
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Who knows? They may give you the upper hand in your ugly, ongoing custody battle. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the morning you spotted John Mayer waiting on the steak to cook at Mastro's.
· Apparently, The Departed's Best Picture win triggered a clause in all participants' contracts mandating that all of their subsequent movie projects must involve at least two Departed alumni, as Leonardo DiCaprio and screenwriter William Monahan form yet another "reunion" for the adaptation of the novel Body of Lies for Warner Bros. [Variety]
· Emboldened by the Easter holiday, Jesus finally serves a cold dish of revenge to Desperate Housewives for its second-season "slutty nun fight" episode, sending the series to its lowest ratings in its three-year history. [THR]
· Harrison Ford will sneak in a stint protecting America from illegal immigrants in the Weinstein Co.'s Crossing Over before reporting for duty this summer as cinema's most beloved, swashbuckling sexagenarian archaeologist. [Variety]
· Jared Padalecki will play the Painter of Light™ himself in Lionsgate's groundbreaking adaptation of Thomas Kinkade's blockbuster "Christmas Cottage" painting. [THR]
· 300 topples Mr. Bean at the foreign box office on its way to a $32 million weekend, boosting the tale of a crazed Persian emperor's ill-fated campaign to give every last soldier in Greece an erotic shoulder-massage to a $367 worldwide gross. [Variety]
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let everyone know about the time you spotted foul-mouthed movie set mutineer Lily Tomlin on your Southwest flight into Burbank.
· Pretty boy shingle fight! Warner Bros. and Leonardo DiCaprio's Appian Way defeat Paramount and Brad Pitt's Plan B for the rights to adapt upcoming autobiography The Wolf of Wall Street. The resulting project will allow for the continued collaboration of muse DiCaprio and master Martin Scorsese (is this whole thing creepy yet? Sort of, right?) at an undisclosed future point in the director's busy schedule. [Variety]
· Harry Potter stars Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, and Emma Watson are officially signed to do the last two movies in the franchise, allowing all pervs to feel closure about our their long-held feelings about how hot a (totally legal!) Hermione was going to be by the end of the saga. [THR]
· Short on original programming to celebrate with cheerful posters that might distract their
employees from the drudgery of their half-network existence, The CW has instead decided to commission some artwork to enliven their workplace. Pictured: an installation placed near the development department entitled, "We Will Splatter Your Fucking Brains On Your Cubicle Wall If You Don't Start Coming Up With Some Show Ideas, And Fast." [Variety]
· Bill Clinton admits that TV Land is the only thing that can dull the pain of loneliness while Hils is out on the campaign trail. [THR]
· The cash-strapped, East Coasted Daytime Emmy-givers of NATAS announce that winners will have to pay $350 each for their statuettes if there's more than one recipient in their category, while its West Coast counterpart promises to reimburse any Emmy victors from its jurisdiction unlucky enough to get stuck with a bill from their cheap peers. [Variety]
· After stumbling upon some screeners for its new season, Var's Peter Bart finally discovers The Entourage, which he believes pampers Hollywood's sexy underbelly but neglects the stepchildren. [Variety]
· Starz is suing Disney because it believes that offering its movies for download at places like iTunes and WalMart.com violates their distribution rights, an internet-related legal action that refreshingly does not involve YouTube. (We think?) [THR]
· In a development that all entertainment news outlets will be contractually obligated to refer to as a "Titanic Reunion," Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio will star in a Sam Mendes-directed DreamWorks adaptation of Revolutionary Road, the grandaddy of all suburban angst novels. [Variety]
· While pitching media buyers on his ongoing turnaround plan for his fourth-place network, NBC president Kevin Reilly expresses hope that beloved-but-low-rated series Friday Night Lights and 30 Rock will evolve into this generation's St. Elsewhere and Cheers. However, he had no historical comparison for breakout hit Deal or No Deal, as the brain-smoothing innovations of reality television had not yet arrived to make viewers stupid enough to watch people shouting at briefcases back in the 80s. [THR]
· Grey's Anatomy is still huge on Thursday nights, while Are You Dumber Than This 10-Year-Old We Plucked From A Special-Ed Class? seems to be sliding in popularity. [Variety]
