January Jones is expecting, but won't say who the father is. Kristen Stewart wants to puke blood. Paris Hilton's attacker thought he was going to marry her, and will now go to jail. Friday gossip is a royal-wedding-free zone.
If you criticize Vanessa Hudgens' weight, she will pop a cap in your ass. Kate Hudson is engaged. Beyonce gets sued for ruining Christmas. Will.i.Am cleans his butt with baby wipes. Wednesday gossip takes it to the streets.
As part of her punishment for violating probation, Lindsay Lohan has been sentenced to 120 hours of community service at the L.A. County Department of the Coroner. Apparently she will do "basic janitorial work. She won't be handling any dead bodies but she'll certainly see them." She will also serve 360 hours of service at a homeless shelter for women on Skid Row.
Britney Spears is deprived of that which she loves. Ryan Phillippe contemplates quitting acting. Lindsay Lohan fears she is the victim of a "witch hunt." Monday gossip is trapped in a prison of carrots and health.
Lindsay Lohan is unhappy with her sentence. Liz Taylor's eighth husband speaks out. Charlie Sheen loses a goddess via text message. Ye seek Sunday gossip: it is risen.
Lindsay Lohan goes back to her old digs at Lynwood Correctional Facility. LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian surprise everyone. And the Royal Wedding won't be any fun at all. Welcome to Saturday gossip. No beer allowed.
Even though the felony theft charge against Lindsay Lohan was reduced to a misdemeanor during a preliminary hearing earlier today, the judge did rule that the fallen starlet had violated her probation. And now Judge Stephanie Saunter has handed down her punishment, sentencing LiLo to 120 days in county jail.
As we speak, Lindsay Lohan's preliminary evidentiary hearing for the felony theft of a necklace has adjourned for lunch. LiLo arrived at court with her hair in a sloppy bun and wide blue sailor pants billowing above a pair of patent leather peep-toe pumps. Long-suffering assistant Elinore tagged along, Louis Vuitton tote (laptop case?) in hand.
We were worried about her there for a moment, but it looks like Velma Kelly is going to be A-OK, hoofing it once more in a big showy musical. Also today: bad news for Kathleen Turner, good news for some random child, and the best news for Gabourey Sidibe.
Evan Rachel Wood wants you to know that she sometimes dates women. Lindsay Lohan uses Good Friday to get out of court. Lea Michele pulls a bitch move at Coachella. Nic Cage goes back to work. Tuesday gossip is single and ready to mingle.
Hardened criminal Lindsay Lohan sent her lawyer to ask the judge in her grand theft case "how much time she'll get if she agrees to a guilty or no contest" plea, according to Radar. At what point does a repeat criminal offender who has not held an honest job in years become a "career criminal"? Her notoriety is all that's propping her up, anyway. [Radar, image via Getty]
Mickey Rourke takes back a compliment and trashes his movies. Lindsay Lohan brags about her mafia connections. David Arquette fails to seduce his wife at Disney World. Thursday gossip is full of failure.
Like a vulture circling a mound of rotting flesh, Lindsay Lohan is closing in on the role of Victoria Gotti in an upcoming mafia movie. To seal the deal, Lindsay and Victoria posed for pictures; the result was like one of those fairy tales where a damsel looks in the mirror and freaks out when she sees what she will look like when she is old. Not that Victoria is that old! Just that LiLo has a thing for snuggling up to human embodiments of her super-tan, uber-blonde future.
Michael Lohan peeps through Lindsay's windows and tries to bust into her house. Natalie Portman gives up veganism for her fetus. Joan Rivers uses vodka as deodorant. Nicki Minaj will share a stage with Britney. Monday gossip spent the weekend stalking its loved ones.
Prince William and Kate Middleton are playing with fire. Charlie Sheen bounces back. Lindsay Lohan is shocked. And Michelle Williams might be a hipster. Welcome to your Gossip Roundup: Lord's Day edition.
Ke$ha invites Britney to get naked with her. Rosie O'Donnell is on Team Chris Brown. Christina Aguilera giggles at her "hiccups." Lindsay Lohan causes another fender-bender. Tuesday gossip is hit or miss.
Charlie Sheen's live show was terrible, unsurprisingly. Lindsay Lohan might play a murder victim. Kate Middleton has six hairdressers. Bad things are happening in the world; let's numb ourselves with a Sunday Gossip Roundup!
