NYT Magazine recently probed the psyche of YouTube's falling figure skater meme, and a commenter pointed us to hobby animators' CGI snuff films. Among a cornucopia of cyber-Schadenfreude, which describes your innermost desires, fears, or fetishes? Let us analyze.

Flirt Alert! Tinsley Mortimer, the bubbly blonde socialite of our dreams, is single and ready to mingle. She was spotted at Sundance looking for a man, which is pretty desperate. So we thought we'd help her find The One.

Thanks to make-over shows and reality television, every girl in America thinks that they need "a gay." Sorry, ladies, but gay men have no interest in being your pink, glittery accessory. In fact, there are some rules for these relationships.

Today is disgusting. When I woke up in my warm bed this morning I thought, "I am definitely calling in sick." But here I am. Why? Because it would violate the rules for getting away with this sort of thing.

Jersey Shore, the (overly) buzzed-about documentary series created by the vengeful ghost of Margaret Mead, is coming to an end tonight. (Well, a season end, at least.) So what do we do now? Explore other terrible youth cultures, of course!

If you want to pay attention to the Massachusetts special election results on the internet tonight, here is the Massachusetts Secretary of State's website, and Marc Ambinder's "cheat sheet" of what to look for. More assorted links below.

Now that Sandra Bullock is riding high as a Serious Actress, how can she maintain that momentum? By doing theater, of course! And we know just what role she, and four other currently popular but gravitas-needing actors, should play.

For all the straights people out there who don't know, Guys with iPhones is a website that houses thousand of pictures of men holding a phone and often wearing little else. How has it become a magnet for B-list nudes?

Legion's demon-lady who tries to eat the girl from Friday Night Lights has been the thrust of most of that angels-with-guns flick's previews. Because crazy old ladies put butts in seats, guaranteed! Why, they're one of five cheap trailer ploys.

Now that beloved carrot-top Conan O'Brien has gone and laid a gentle smack down on NBC for their time-shifting late night foxtrot, what are some ways he could fuck over the (already so fucked) network? Let's imagine some possibilities.

Now that Jay Leno's woeful 10pm talk show experiment has been axed, NBC is faced with a serious vacuum of programming. They're desperate enough to consider an LA-set Law & Order, so what else might they be considering? Let's speculate!

It looks like gay Spanish hotel chain Axel Hotels is going to erect (har!) a homo outpost right here in Manhattan. Hell's Kitchen to be exact. Like everything fancy and gay, it's probably too expensive for you, but don't fret!

Every year to get through the winter in New York (or presumably everywhere cold like Boston, Chicago, Wasilla) we have to go through a mass delusion that there is nowhere better. It sounds something like this.

Did you watch Conveyor Belt of Love yesterday? It's about one of those sushi restaurant things except instead of raw fish, it's men. A great new technological advancement that has us thinking of other ways to revolutionize the dating-show format.

Luckily for lazy journalists, there is a permissible way to "crowdsource" the hard work of reporting to the Twitter masses. But there are many more wrong ways to slack. After the jump, a collection of microblogging "don't"s.

On December 31 everyone is thinking about ways to improve themselves for the coming year. Why bother? That will all be forgotten by February 12, and then you'll still have problems and be a failure. But we're here to help!

America's most hated political figure, former Vice President Dick Cheney, has inserted himself into the news again. He said something about Obama, and terror. That has been a wonderful 2009 trend, reporting on what Cheney mumbles.

Dana Perino's 9 Favorite Things reminded me that my favorite thing about 2009 has been that we don't have to care about Dana Perino anymore. Or any other Bush people! Let us list 7 of them we do not miss.

They never learn, do they? Not to have sex with people you are not married to, that is. That is what they (elected officials) did not learn, in the 2000s. Who were they trying to have sex with? Literally everyone.

While covering Facebook's systematic elimination of privacy, we've been deluged with questions from readers asking how to restore certain Facebook privacy protections. Sadly, many such settings appear to be lost forever. Here are the most glaring examples.