If there’s one thing Microsoft’s new web toy “How Old Do I Look?” is good for, it’s exploiting our collective narcissism to build a robust facial recognition database. But if it’s good for a second thing, it’d have to be answering the open question of how old alleged celebrity teenager Lorde really is.

You do not make fun of Taylor Swift's little booty on Twitter and get away with it, my friend. Not when Lorde's ancient spirit is also on Twitter.

While leaving the after party for The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 premiere in London last night, America's newly-single sweetheart Jennifer Lawrence accidentally displayed some side-nipple.

Lorde's recent appearances on South Park—where she was revealed to be the musical alter ego of Stan's dad, Randy Marsh—came up in a new interview with TV3 in the singer's native New Zealand, and reporter David Farrier got her to sort-of-perform a snippet of her song from the show.

Remember the time South Park did a joke about the conspiracy theory that teenage pop star Lorde is actually way older than she claims? And the time Spin, a music publication, totally missed the joke and got offended on Lorde's behalf? It was a week ago. Anyway...

Grammy-winning New Zealand singer Lorde's rise to fame is especially remarkable because she's just 17 years old. Or that's what she wants you to think. Despite the release of the singer's birth certificate—or an easily-forged printout of it, anyway—earlier this year, some still believe Lorde is older than she claims.

First, they didn't have a mic waiting for Lorde when she won her VMA for Best Rock Video. Then she said "shit." Then she did this.

Farmer Derek Klingenberg is also a musician, and he's found an unconventional way of calling his heifers in from the fields: He plays them pop songs on his trombone. Here's his performance of Lorde's "Royals" from Sunday morning.

Weird Al Yankovic's #8Videos8Days continues with a parody of "Royals", the Lorde song that even Lorde is sick of hearing. Al's version is fresh, though, because he's got it wrapped up tight in strong, versatile aluminum foil (foiiiiil). It's as good for preserving sandwiches as it is for preserving your head from government thought control.

Your best friend, Jennifer Lawrence, has an email address with the word "butt" in it. Of course she does, because she's a cool girl who checks out John Stamos' ass and has a well-organized collection of butt plugs.

Maybe-maybe-not-teenager Lorde went public on Twitter Sunday night, posting the name and picture of the photographer she says has been stalking her.

The living members of Nirvana reunited Thursday night when the band was inducted into the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame in a Brooklyn ceremony, just 4 days after the 20th anniversary of Kurt Cobain's death. New Zealand singer Lorde took over vocal duties on "All Apologies," a song released 3 years before she was (allegedly) born.

Puddles the Sad Clown is just like teenage pop sensation Lorde, except that he's extremely tall, entirely mute when he's not singing, and is a clown. They do both have golden voices, though.

Bruce Springsteen was in Auckland, New Zealand yesterday, which is also the home definitely-a-teen-and-not-secretly-much-older idol Lorde. In her honor, the Boss performed a growling cover of her Grammy-winning single "Royals." If you pay too close of attention he kinda sounds like an SNL parody of Bruce Springsteen covering modern pop songs.

Lorde, the Kiwi singer-songwriter who won a Grammy on Sunday night, is 17—or is she? Is this Lorde's birth certificate?