The Los Angeles Times reports that the Gang Enforcement Team of the LA County Sheriff's Department has become the subject of an internal investigation after it emerged its officers may have formed their own shoot-happy police-only gang.

A medical marijuana delivery in West Covina, Calif., was foiled early this morning after two men dressed as ninjas and wielding martial arts batons approached a deliveryman and stole a bag of cash and product.

This morning actress Debi Mazar (who also happens to be my number one fan) found a crazy sight on the front stoop of her house in the Los Feliz neighborhood of L.A. There was a homeless person passed out on the welcome mat. Debi took it in stride, until he started jerking off.

Yesterday we heard about Young Lee, the co-founder of frozen gruel with Fruity Pebbles on top yogurt chain Pinkberry, who allegedly beat the crap out of a homeless man with a tire iron after the homeless man showed him his "sexually explicit" tattoo. Now we finally know what the tattoo is.

Young Lee, the co-owner and co-founder of shockingly popular frozen yogurt-ish dessert chain Pinkberry, has been accused of chasing down a homeless man and beating him with a tire iron. But why?

For four days, a prolific car arsonist had Los Angeles car-owners posting up all night like nervous cowboys guarding their cattle from wolves. A suspect was arrested today; he might be mad at America for deporting his mom.

Singing dust speck Justin Bieber was pulled over for the third time this year in Los Angeles, and let off with a warning for the third time this year. Even cops are beliebers, apparently.

[UPDATED WITH VIDEO] "It was shooting crazy," said one bystander of a freak shooting spree at the corners of Hollywood Blvd. Sunset Blvd.* and Vine St. — the Crossroads of Forgotten Dreams — this morning. According to the LA Times report, a gunman started firing randomly at passing cars at 10:30 a.m., hitting one man in a Mercedes in the head and grazing another in the leg. Bystanders waved over two cops who were working on a movie shoot down the street, and they fired on the shooter, killing him. Way to go, LAPD!

So, it's pretty windy in L.A. right now. That's actually an understatement. It's blowing harder than a rentboy at a Republican National Convention around here! The "Santa Anas," as they are known — powerful fall winds that build up in the Great Basin between the Sierra Nevada and Rocky Mountains and pour out towards the Southern California coastline (and that's your meteorological lesson of the day) — have arrived with a vengeance. Speeds of up to 97 mph have been recorded in the Angeles National Forest, and in L.A. proper they seem to be topping out at 50 mph. Transformers are blowing up all over the place and Michael Bay is nowhere to be seen! About 25,000 are currently without power, and even parts of LAX have gone dark. I guess the city doesn't have to worry about the 30 tons of debris left behind after the Occupy LA eviction last night.

The most reviled woman in America at the moment is without a doubt the Wal-Mart pepper sprayer, whose cold, bald avarice eclipsed all other Black Friday crimes. (The most reviled woman in the U.K. is this one, but that's another story.) Yet despite turning herself in to police, she still walks freely among us. Why? Could there be any doubt as to her culpability? We've all seen the video capturing the moment, in which we can clearly make out, uh, a bunch of people screaming in a Wal-Mart?

An angry (and strategic) shopper in Los Angeles pepper sprayed about 20 people trying to get X-Boxes 360 on Thursday night, sending at least one person to the hospital. In North Carolina, a shootout broke out at 2 a.m. outside a mall where shoppers had gathered. Yes—it's the most wonderful time of the year. Happy Black Friday, everyone!

No, not the shitty old shack in the movie where Ben Affleck goes to pick up Matt Damon each day before work, except in that last scene because Matt Damon leaves to make something of himself. Not that house! Rather this is the house where Matt and Ben lived while they were writing the screenplay.

Is it even worth introducing Chris Brown with an insult? He is just terrible! Well, Chris Brown, horrendous hatemonster and destroyer of all things good and pure in this world, has plunked down $1.5 million for this home in Hollyweird, CA.

Everyone knows that the authorities have reopened the case of actress Natalie Wood's 1981 drowning death, which is officially still classified as an accident. The police held a press conference in LA today and announced that her husband, Robert Wagner, is not a suspect.

In a weird brand of CBS-sponsored kismet, Simon Helberg of The Big Bang Theory and Charlie Sheen, formerly of Two and a Half Men, are now bound together in television and real estate fate: Helberg purchased Charlie's old home in L.A. for $2.9 million.

Everybody's favorite paleontologist from the '90s, David Schwimmer, has listed his Los Angeles mansion.

In Los Angeles, a Halloween reveler dressed up in a Smurf costume crossed paths with some alleged gang members and ended up getting shot in the calf, round-the-clock Halloween news source the L.A. Times reports. The Smurf had only been trying to help his girlfriend—who was also dressed as a Smurf—after one of the so-called gang members had punched her; he's now in stable condition.

Christian Audigier, the founder of Ed Hardy and French-born creator of countless aesthetic blights on humanity, has listed both of his California dreamboat mansions.

The President stunned the nation on Monday when, after arriving in Los Angeles at 4:30 p.m., he directed his motorcade to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles — a West Coast favorite that melds the two greatest foodstuffs known to mankind into one, crispy-skinned, syrup-smothered, hybrid foodstuff that defies all logic and mealtime expectation. He ordered the No. 9, the "Country Boy," which includes three chicken wings and a waffle, and enjoyed his takeout — brupper? suckfast? — in the limo with his aides. Deeelicious. The First Lady, meanwhile, quietly wept into her arugula patch. [LAT, Photo via AP]

It's been a while since we last heard about a loaded gun slipping past the watchful eyes and groping, toy-taking hands of TSA's diaper-busting agents and making it onto an airplane. We thought that maybe the agency had patched up that minor security breach issue, or something. Nope!