It was a typical scene at Donald Trump’s Super Tuesday rally in Louisville, Kentucky: A protester, surrounded by Trump supporters and jostled by them until she left the premises. According to the protester in question, it was perhaps even uglier than usual. “I was called a nigger and a cunt, and got kicked out,” Shiya Nwanguma said after the incident.
When will someone take a stand against all the boogers? That’s what I wanna know.
UPDATE 2:45 p.m.: According to the San Antonio Express-News, Josh Lewis denies his boss’s version of events, saying the attacker stole his car with the pizzas in it and he did not complete his delivery. Our assessment of Lewis (who was stuck with “a huge dagger” in the line of duty) as a pizza hero stands.
Two Louisville teenagers were killed this past Saturday after the car they were traveling in was hit by an oncoming train. Witnesses say the car ignored flashing warning signs and blaring alarms before speeding onto the tracks. The two passengers closest to the impact were pronounced dead at the scene; two others remain in critical condition.
The long-awaited day of reckoning has finally arrived: Round One of America's Ugliest Accent comes to a triumphant close in. We are one step closer to democratically determining whom among us speaks with the most disgusting accent.
One person has been taken to the hospital after reported gunshots erupted at Fern Creek High School in Louisville, Ken. Just before 2 p.m. local time, students walked out of the building single-file with their hands clasped over the heads. The elementary school next door has been placed on lockdown, WAVE reports.
Thank God the Senate was finally able to kill those jobs so quickly! Now the nation's top senators can return to the usual business of using their elevated positions to funnel money and prestige to institutions in their home states.
A high school class in Louisville, Ky. just went on the best field trip, ever! If you like finding bodies. Because that's what they did! They found a body, face-down "by a creek behind the school in a wooded area."
Police say they found a "small bag" of crack hidden inside the foreskin of one Antoine Banks, late of Fairdale, Ky., during a strip search ordered after another small bag of cocaine was found "tied to the waistband of Banks' boxers." There are, probably, better places on one's body to secrete contraband—certainly there are more comfortable places—but the drug-concealing ability of the male human foreskin is, I think, an under-explored aspect of the circumcision debate. [WLKY]
