Kim Cattrall turns 53 today. Kelis is turning 30. Heroes star Hayden Panettiere is turning 20. Google co-founder Sergei Brin is 36. Steve Case, the co-founder of AOL, is turning 51. CBS Early Show co-anchor Harry Smith turns 58. Randy Mastro, a former deputy mayor and now a lawyer, is 53. Actress Carrie-Anne Moss (The Matrix, Memento) is turning 42. Country music legend Kenny Rogers is 71. C-list reality TV star Brody Jenner is turning 26. And Long Island's very own Amy Fisher turns 35 today. Weekend birthdays below!

In honor of Fashion Week, here's the answering machine message at Lynn Yaeger's apartment. (It's no surprise she isn't at home; she's covering the shows for New York this year.) Be sure to listen through to the end to hear the musical chimes of her delightfully old-school machine. Previous fashion-related voicemails: Gilles Bensimon, Lucy Sykes, Charlotte Ronson, Hamish Bowles, Simon Doonan and Jonathan Adler.

• Mary Louise Parker was the center of attention at the Roundabout Theatre on Sunday for the opening night of her new Broadway show, Hedda Gabler. Parker and her co-stars, Michael Cerveris, Peter Stormare, and Paul Sparks, and the play's director Christopher Shinnas were joined at the play and after-party by Liza Minnelli, Joan Rivers, Blythe Danner, Mamie Gummer, Amy Irving, Billy Stritch, and Tovah Feldshuh. [PMc, Wireimage, GoaG]

In today's media column: Time Inc still firing people, Plenty folds, a new FCC chief, a crazy media idea that won't work, and more!

• MSNBC is planning to broadcast the inauguration live in 27 movie theaters around the country. The tickets are free; the popcorn and soda are not. [THR]
• The White House has requested 10 to 15 minutes of airtime on Thursday evening so George Bush can give a "farewell address" to the nation. [NYT]
• Chris Rock has signed a book deal with Grand Central Publishing. [PW]
• Is Blake Lively's appearance on the cover of Vogue a bad sign? [NYP]
• Ex-Voice fashion writer Lynn Yaeger will be writing for New York. [NYO]
• Condé Nast has appointed Bill Wackermann to oversee Domino. [MW]
• Comedy Central will begin broadcasting in high definition later this month, just so you can enjoy Carlos Mencia in all his glory. [B&C]

• Channels like MTV, Comedy Central and Nickelodeon will no longer be available to Time Warner Cable customers beginning at midnight, unless Viacom and Time Warner settle a dispute over fees. [Bloomberg]
• The Village Voice has laid off Nat Hentoff and Lynn Yaeger. [NYT]
• Ratings for MTV's The City and Bromance were disappointing. [THR]
• Pepsi is parting ways with its longtime pitchman David Beckham. [AdAge]
• Hustler publisher Larry Flynt is feuding with his nephews over their plans to launch an adult media company of their own. [NYP]
• Nick Denton's Gawker Media has sold off a site and is selling another. [NYT]
• It's not all bad news these days for journalists, clearly. [THR]

♦ At Betsey Johnson, the front row—Kelly Osbourne, Perry Farrell, Miss J Alexander, Bow Wow, Ugly Betty's Mark Indelicato, Jason Lewis, Mickey Boardman, Lynn Yaeger, and Patrick McMullan—sat at little tables festooned with frosted cupcakes and lollipops for a Peter Pan-themed show in which Liam McMullan played a pirate "throwing gold coins at the audience and pinching the models' exposed bottoms as they walked by." Betsey did her customary finale cartwheel, showed off her granddaughter (left), and went off on vacation with her boyfriend (an Italian decades her junior, of course). [NYO, The Cut, Fashion Wire Daily]

• Drama abounded at DKNY's show yesterday: PETA protestors burst onto the runway, shouting and brandishing placards—to the apparent amusement of André Leon Talley—while Petra Nemcova's new bangs rendered her unrecognizable and therefore unmolested by the media. Meanwhile the rather random celebrity trio of Winona Ryder, Christina Ricci, and Nicole Richie were regaled with "combinations of electric blue and black, neon pink and yellow anorak dresses, parachute pants and color-blocked knits" and a finale led by Donna Karan's five-year-old granddaughter Stefania. [The Cut, Fashionologie, NYDN, Telegraph]
  
  

• The inimitable Fug Girls were at Yigal Azrouël today and saw Elettra Rossellini Wiedemann (not sweating in leather pants, enthusiastically posing for a photographer), Miss J Alexander and Nigel Barker (chatting front row), Cory Kennedy (bored, disheveled), Alexis Bryan Morgan (still pregnant), Fabiola Beracasa (front row next to Katie Lee Joel), Nina Garcia (talking to reporters), and Kelly Cutrone (looking better in person than on TV). [The Cut]

A fashion columnist for the Village Voice until late 2009, Yaeger is hard to miss at fashion shows around town thanks to her signature doll-like look.

Since everything has to be put in the context of Orange Alert these days, the Village Voice's Lynn Yaeger looks at some of the more bizarre Fashion Week items and theorizes that they're really just escapist reactions to the pervasive sense of anxiety. Among the oddest: An orange sweater that depicts a man hanging from the tree. Designer Pierrot explains that it's a lover who hanged himself after an affair gone awry. Did it occur to him that it looked like anything else? Why, no. Another: sweaters, shawls and bathing suits made out of sock monkeys by Liz Collins. [Caption, right: "I feel...silly."]
Orange skirts and code orange [Village Voice]