It may, however, be a euphemism for "cosmetic procedures too dangerous to be legal in the States." Mackenzie Phillips backtracks on part of her incest claim. Lady Gaga gets a tattoo for her fans. Thursday's gossip will leave a mark.

As the Sheen-Mueller cycle of violence rounds another bend, we have no choice but to end the year depressingly. Tracy Morgan buys lube, Kate Hudson goes "psycho," Jonases contemplate break-up. Should auld gossip be forgot: Thursday gossip lang syne.

Carrie Prejean is horrifed by Shauna Sand's attempt to inspire her; Bijou Phillips' incest movie was a lot less creepy before Mackenzie wrote that book; 50 Cent has some tattoos removed. Et voila, Wednesday's gossip!

Comedian Tracy Morgan turns 41 today. Mackenzie Phillips is turing 50. Actress Brittany Murphy is 32. Grey's Anatomy's Ellen Pompeo is turning 40. Mets general manager Omar Minaya is 51. Nobel Prize-winning economist Robert Engle is turning 67. CUNY chancellor Matthew Goldstein is 68. Socialite Lauren Dupont is 39. Actress Heather Matarazzo turns 27. The rapper Eve is 31. TV anchor Aaron Brown is turning 61. Film producer Roland Emmerich turns 54. Publishing exec Stephen Rubin is 68. And Sinbad turns 53 today.

John Travolta testifies about the day his son died. Carrie Prejean enjoys playing dress-up. Jude Law has another kid. And you'll never again have to endure Lily Allen's music. All that and much more in your Thursday morning gossip roundup...

Mackenzie Phillips is setting the media ablaze with her revelation that she had sex with her father. Having come this far, just what will celebrity biographies have to confess to get attention a decade from now? Here's a preview!

• Mischa Barton went to see "Tosca" at the Metropolitan Opera the other night. Naturally, when she showed up and saw a red carpet, she started walking it... until she realized it was for the screening of Michael Moore's new documentary at Alice Tully Hall. It was then that the light bulb went on and she ran across the street. Pull it together, woman! [P6]
• Jessica Simpson can't catch a break. Tony Romo ditched her; her dog got snatched by a coyote; her friends keep dishing to the media; and now her ex, Nick Lachey, appears to be reuniting with his ex, Vanessa Minnillo. Poor Jess. [E!]
• Tyra Banks appeared on Larry King Live last night and talked about how she dealt with packing on some lbs (again), her real hair (again), and how she loves being naked (unless the lighting in the dressing room sucks). [CNN, ET]

Celebrity memoirs often focus on stereotypical subjects, like drug abuse and insecurity. How pedestrian! Thankfully Mackenzie Phillips, a former sitcom star and long-time drug addict, breaks boundaries in her new tome. And they're very unsettling.

• George Clooney's ex-girlfriend Sarah Larson may have cheated on the actor when she had a "weekend fling" with a "media mogul," although it appears she's paying for her crime since her new boyfriend is a lowly nightlife promoter named Joey Vanas. [P6]

One Day at a Time is both the title of a seminal postfeminist late-'70s sitcom and a 12-step mantra, and both apply to its star and recovering substance-abuser Mackenzie Phillips. IMDb lists her as having been clean and sober since 1992, but TMZ is reporting that the actress was arrested today at LAX, allegedly for possession of heroin and coke. She's currently in custody: