As the Sheen-Mueller cycle of violence rounds another bend, we have no choice but to end the year depressingly. Tracy Morgan buys lube, Kate Hudson goes "psycho," Jonases contemplate break-up. Should auld gossip be forgot: Thursday gossip lang syne.

  • This is deeply depressing: Mere days after the world listened to Brooke Mueller's desperate 911 call crying that husband Charlie Sheen had threatened her with a knife, Mueller's lawyers are working with Sheen's to ask a judge to drop Brooke's order of protection against Charlie because they "love each other" and don't want to ruin their relationship over "one bad night." And voila: Cycle of violence complete. [Gatecrasher]
  • What's more, Sheen allegedly offered to sweeten Mueller's pre-nup by $1 million if she stayed with him. Last eery Sheen-Mueller item: Brooke shares a lawyer with O.J. Simpson. [Radar]
  • Allie Is Wired says the Jonas Brothers are breaking up, which would make sense since Kevin got married and Nick is doing his solo thing. Popeater's Rob Shuter said the same thing yesterday, with suspiciously similar wording. Is Nick really going the way of Justin Timberlake, or is there one really big-mouthed leaker out there repeating the same rumor again and again? And if it's the latter—could he still be right? [AIW] [NBN]
  • Kate Hudson "is turning into the psycho ex girlfriend" and stalking A-Rod. This sucks, because once you get pigeonholed as a "psycho ex," it's a label you will never shed. See also: Aniston, Jen (subvariety "sad") and Winehouse, Amy (subvariety "cocaine") [Celebslam]
  • Snooki made out with a guy with gelled hair at a bar and there are pictures of them engulfing each others' mouths completely. [TMZ]
  • Every now and then you see break downs of how much money celebrities make just to show up at places. Pete Wentz is getting $30K to show up at a Vegas nightclub tonight while Fergie and 50 Cent are getting $700K and $100K respectively for performances. Most disturbingly: Nik Richie, whom TMZ identifies as "the guy from TheDirty.com," has a $20K NYE appearance fee. But he's just a blogger. The same as me. [TMZ]
  • James Frey's six-word memoir: "So would you believe me anyway"?" Mackenzie Phillips: "Dad never mentioned drugs were bad." [P6]
  • Tracy Morgan is exactly the same as Tracy Jordan. At a Mercer Street sex shop, "He looked around for a minute and then hollered across the store, 'Hey, do you have motion lotion?' ... He handed them cash, and ran out of the store to a BMW X6 that was waiting on the street for him." [P6]
  • Susan Sarandon and maybe-Jonathan-Bricklin threw back tequila and Jameson, respectively, at Mermaid Oyster Bar. Confirm it, already, Susan! [P6]
  • Michael Lohan is after Jon Gosselin sloppy second Kate Major, but Page Six does its best to keep Michael's sexual attractiveness at an all-time low by accusing him of eyeing "a girl who looked like just Ali Lohan." [P6]