In this week’s White House address, President Obama has a bone-chilling message for our nation’s youths: Stay away from drugs—or you, too, could end up like 9/11 truther and occasional anti-semitic caricature Macklemore.

Poor Ryan Lewis. He gets stuck playing second banana to the admittedly more expressive Macklemore. In their early days, it was easy to be unsure who was who. Grammy Awards and countless live performances later, most people either think of Lewis as an also-ran — if they even know who he is or what he does.

I think we all can agree that anyone who dances to Macklemore should fall off of a stage. Especially the country singer Luke Bryan, who seems like a decent guy but looks funny falling off of a stage, which is what happened last night in Charlotte while he danced to Macklemore.

Your mom's favorite rapper Macklemore has taken to Tumblr to explain how he ended up performing in the costume of a Jewish caricature this past weekend, and his argument basically boils down to "Hey, remember when I made that song about gay people that one time?"

On Friday night, Macklemore and Ryan Lewis performed a secret show in their hometown of Seattle to honor a new exhibit at the city's EMP Museum. This would have been completely unremarkable had Macklelmore not dressed up as the stereotype of a greedy, hook-nosed Jewish man.

Having solved the problem of marriage equality for same-sex couples with his Grammy-nominated song "Same Love," great humanitarian Macklemore now turns his attention to another crucial social issue: Guys who pee on toilet seats.

Oh internet! Oh glorious fountain of lies and truth, oh tangled network of trolls and heroes, oh noxious abyss of Photoshopped Harry Styles photos. You are so wonderful yet so full of shit.

Last night at the Grammy awards, Macklemore beat out Kendrick Lamar for multiple "Best Rap" awards. Afterwards, Macklemore texted Kendrick an apology. Classy? On the contrary.

The Grammys—the worst award show—were last night. Things happened! Macklemore saved gay marriage. Daft Punk won Album of the Year. Pharrell wore a funny hat. And, of course, Taylor Swift awkwardly danced during every song.

Katy Perry opened Sunday's American Music Awards in geisha drag. Or maybe it was Madonna circa '99 drag. Either way, and as usual, her look and performance were tedious and bereft of personality. Perhaps Perry realized the best she could do was make Twitter users cluck their tongues, and inspire think pieces in which the word "problematic" would feature prominently.

One night not long ago, "two-hit-wonder" Macklemore and his sidekick Ryan Lewis decided to randomly crank call a person who was scalping tickets to one of their shows for $65 a pop.

Earlier this week, Forbes released its annual breakdown of "Hip-Hop Cash Kings"—the highest-paid rap artists of the last year. It's an interesting calculation for many reasons, including the revelations that Pitbull made more than Drake, that both Nicki Minaj and Avicii brought in more than Kanye, and that the top 20 spots contain five white guys, one of whose names rhymes with Tacklebore.

The fact that Macklemore is doing ads for Cracker Jacks that target "the ironic sensibility of millennial consumers" could inspire some long-winded and ultimately tedious rants on several topics, but instead why not just listen to some Brand Nubian?

Before he was basically the biggest rapper in the country, with back-to-back No. 1s on the Billboard Hot 100 ("Thrift Shop" and "Can't Hold Us"), and another Top 20 track (the treacly gay-equality anthem "Same Love"), rapper Ben "Macklemore" Haggerty wrote a song called "White Privilege." (Sample lyrics: "Where's my place in a music that's been taken by my race / Culturally appropriated by the white face.")

The aural plague known as Kidz Bop is unveiling its 24th manifestation next month as part of the kid-friendly compilation's ongoing campaign to rid the world of happiness.

Racialicious has a piece today about the Macklemore and Ryan Lewis song "Same Love" (featuring Mary Lambert), and people seem to care about it. The gist of "Race + Hip-Hop + LGBT Equality: On Macklemore's White Straight Privilege" by Hel Gebreamlak is that because Macklemore, a white indie rapper based in Seattle, did not say something the way Hel Gebreamlak would have said it, Macklemore is wrong. How internet of Gebreamlak.

Racking up over 350,000 views in just one day, the music video for "Same Love," the latest single from Seattle-based underground rapper Ben "Macklemore" Haggerty and producer Ryan Lewis, is so popular, its success could very well have a strong positive impact on the outcome of a local initiative to legalize same-sex marriage.