Since all things go in 20 year cycles, we're about to be inundated with all sorts of '90s nostalgia. While I'm all for ironically dancing to "Poison" and embracing M.C. Hammer harem pants, there is one relic from my good old days that needs to stay in the past: Special K.
Elton John had a sour puss on all night at the Golden Globes, but it got even worse when Madonna's shitty "Masterpiece" won for Best Original Song over some crappy ballad Elton wrote for Gnomeo and Juliet. Then his husband started talking shit about Madonna on Facebook.
Not the best or most cutting joke in the world but it's about as daring as anyone is getting during the show. Plus, it recalled when Madonna and Britney Spears kissed back when people cared about Britney. No, really, good on which ever Golden Globes producer whipped that up just before Madonna went on.
It's the Golden Rule of Pop Divadom: Thou shalt throw shade upon your contemporaries (so long as they aren't in the room). So consider this sprawling supercut by Rich Juzwiak the Holy Bible of Diva Cuntitude. Each clip contains a Whitney, a Mariah, a Madonna, etc., talking smack behind another one's back, followed by a clip of the gossiped-about diva talking about another diva, and so and and so forth, until it all devolves into a cannibalistic diva free-for-all, where all that's left is a pile of bones and pearly teeth and silicone inserts and Dior shoes and Versace gowns. It's very entertaining! [FourFour]
Madonna explains what she looks for in a lover. Cuba Gooding's gay makeout partner speaks. Mariah Carey doesn't feel pretty unless she can "feel my bones." Kim Kardashian's former publicist stabs in her the back. Thursday gossip tells all.
The Kardashian frenzy continues. ScarJo opens up about her naked pictures. Lindsay Lohan goes from morgue to graveyard. And Gwyneth Paltrow says more obnoxious things. Tuesday's gossip ate too much candy.
Kim Kardashian dressed up as Poison Ivy for Halloween and is divorcing her husband. Demi Moore dressed up as a divorcee. Lindsay Lohan is wearing an innocent nun's costume, Jessica Simpson is rocking an "immaculate conception" look, and Taylor Swift is going as a nude photo scandal. Monday's gossip doesn't know if it's a trick or a treat.
Simon Cowell fondly recalls a successful date with "wacko" Denise Richards. Did Lady Gaga hook up with a tween idol? Madonna defends her right to hate hydrangeas. What did Ali Lohan do to her face? Thursday gossip has questions.
Madonna takes a passive-aggressive swipe at Lady Gaga. Ryan Gosling makes out with Eva Mendes. Jake Gyllenhaal snuggles a Twilight star. A wild man breaks into Celine Dion's home and pillages for pastries. Wednesday gossip is mad for madeleines, moonstruck for doughnuts, cuckoo for choux.
Adele vomits constantly, but it's more anxiety disorder than eating disorder. Madonna ridicules a fan on an open mic. Alyson Hannigan isn't pregnant, just bloated. Alexander Skarsgard growls at girls. Tuesday gossip is body conscious.
Ray J wants to "protect his rights"—his sex tape rights! Billie Joe Armstrong get kicked off a plane. Sandra Oh gets her identity stolen. And Pippa Middleton maybe got a parking ticket. Saturday gossip is here, and ready to explain why its boobs are weird.
Courtney Love takes David LaChapelle's car and chauffeur for a midnight joyride. David Duchovny and Tea Leoni split up again. Kim Kardashian hands out wedding confidentiality agreements. And Emma Watson talks about her first crush. Wednesday gossip asks, where's my car?
