Rumors of Mariah Carey's demise have been greatly exaggerated, she proved last night during the first of six sold-out, Christmas-themed concerts at New York's Beacon Theater. For much of the show, she was in as good of a voice as you could expect from a diva who's in her 25th year of wailing for the public's consumption.

Mariah Carey, she of a thousand octaves and probably a few more only dogs can hear, accidentally left her voice at home Wednesday during NBC's annual Christmas broadcast.

Teacup Yorkie Ariana Grande has been releasing albums for a little over a year, but she already has a diva-sized 'tude, according to a news.com.au report. The piece claims that she arrived at an interview with a list of demands (don't ask questions about: relationships/dating/ex-boyfriends, Mariah Carey, Sam & Cat/Jennette McCurdy, working/collaborating with Justin Bieber, her grandfather passing away).

Nick Cannon has confirmed the rumor that he and Mariah Carey have split, The Insider reports. He told the talkie rag that they've been living apart for months. Love is fleeting, but the image of him masturbating to her song "Hero" is eternal.

The most important (read: only) piece of music criticism that the fashion world has ever paid attention to is running on Vogue UK's website: Donatella Versace on Mariah Carey's Me. I Am Mariah...The Elusive Chanteuse. The lioness meets the lamb.

Last week, Mariah Carey released her 14^th studio album, Me. I Am Mariah…The Elusive Chanteuse. Here are some things to consider when considering Mariah Carey, especially at this juncture in her 24-year career.

Here is Mariah Carey in the gown she wore to the Fresh Air Fund's Salute to American Heroes Gala last night deciding to take the subway. Just like a peasant. A peasant in a prom dress on public transportation. Isn't that funny?

Singer/songwriter/lamb herder/wearer of the dress above Mariah Carey reportedly caused chaos earlier this week when she showed up four hours late to the taping of Tuesday's World Music Awards in Monaco. At least, that's according to the UK's Mirror:

The super-devoted fans of pop music—your Beliebers, your Directioners—are insane, and love to be insane. But this, well, this is something: Milo Yiannopoulos, a columnist for Business Insider, spent $1,200 on a plane ticket in order to fly to Germany from London and buy Mariah Carey's new album today.

Mariah Carey debuted disco throwback song "You Don't Know What To Do" (from Me. I Am Mariah...The Elusive Chanteuse) earlier on Today. This is exactly the kind of stuff she should be making. If this is a single, it could be the song of the summer (or at a personal summer jam favorite). You've been warned.

Me. I Am Mariah...The Elusive Chanteuse is latest in a long line of eccentric Mariah Carey album titles (including Butterfly, Glitter, Charmbracelet, The Emancipation of Mimi, E=MC², and Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel). Carey officially announced her long-delayed 14th studio album (out May 27) last night via the video above, explaining that the title comes from her "first and only self portrait," which she drew at age 3.

The “Queen of Christmas” (or so this press release tells me) Mariah Carey appeared on last night’s episode of Watch What Happens Live. During the show, host Andy Cohen Glitter bombed her, making her sit through a reel of highlights from her infamous 2001 vanity project flop.

It's a Christmas miracle: Following a far-too-long hiatus, the incredible Steve Kardynal has graced the users of Chatroulette with a surprise performance for the second time in less than a month.

Earlier today, Mariah Carey released a single, "The Art of Letting Go," which is teeming with 10-cent words. They include "audacity," "dominion," "evidently," "exceedingly," "liability," "reverberating," "subside." Accordingly, our Mariah Carey glossary has been updated.

"Getting through this injury has been the toughest experience of my life...It's a huge deal, it should have taken eight months [to recover] and even my doctors can't believe it." - Mariah Carey, medical miracle

Robin Thicke's massive "Blurred Lines" has broken the record for the most audience impressions at radio in a single week (219.8 million). The previous record-holder was Mariah Carey's "We Belong Together."

If you were an eternally 12-year-old pop star with a #Beautiful shoulder injury, what would your sling be made of? Feathers and studs and candy bling and bliss and white magic and faeries' eyelashes and unicorn hides.

Mariah Carey wore a hilarious series of bedazzled slings at her Central Park show on Saturday. We saw this coming.

Multi-genre dance producer Diplo's typically loose lips have suggested that Beyoncé has scrapped work she's done on her upcoming album, the creation of which she's been talking about forever (or at least, since January). "Fuckin' thing sucks!" is how I like to imagine King Bey regarding this rejected body of work, but the truth is that she's probably just nodding and grinning serenely about it.

Mariah Carey's expert blend of blasé drama queeniness is on full display in the YouTube above. In it, she is wheeled out of the hospital after being treated for the dislocated shoulder and cracked rib she suffered after taking a tumble on the set of her "#Beautiful" remix video. "Well, that was fun," says a be-slinged Mimi, who is of course wearing a gown and full makeup. She then describes the experience as "harrowing" in the same inconvenienced-and-loving-it tone. Then she mumbles something about going back to the video set and professionals, thanks someone while grasping his or her hand like a weird old lady during the "Peace be with you" part of mass, and air kisses someone else. She may be doped up. She may be a living Humane Society cash-register donation bank with those sad puppy eyes.