Mariah Carey dislocated her shoulder Sunday on the set of the video for her "#Beautiful" hip-hop remix. She's OK, but her bedazzled sling is fabulous, dahhling.

What a difference a coast can make — Mariah Carey's spotty performance on Good Morning America was scrubbed clean when the show aired on the West Coast. The first clip of the video above shows her struggling with adlibbing when her performance aired live; the second clip is the sanitized way it aired three hours later. They also, of course, removed was her S-bomb. So basically, they took out much of what made her appearance fun.

Exhaustion works like heavy drugs on Mariah Carey, which is to say hashtag-beautifully, as anyone witness to her Glitter-era breakdown or Home Shopping Network rambling knows. She performed today in Central Park for Good Morning America's concert series, and the gig forced her to wake up early. "I wake up at this hour," she explained. "I don't mean I wake up, I mean I go to sleep. It's kinda the same thing for me." Indeed. Me too in that this morning I sprang out of bed, turned on my TV and felt like I was dreaming.

In the new based-on-a-true-story film from Precious director Lee Daniels (also of Nicole Kidman/Zac Efron Pee Movie fame), Oprah Winfrey plays Gloria Gaines, wife of Cecil Gaines, a fictional White House butler whose real life counterpart, Eugene Allen, worked through the terms of eight U.S. Presidents from 1952 to 1986. The film is called The Butler. Forrest Whitaker plays the butler.

R&B diva/proud songwriter/walking Lisa Frank sticker book Mariah Carey renews her vows to her husband Nick Cannon every year. I put it that way because it is clear that Mariah is pulling the strings in this relationship, including the one attached to Nick's back that delivers compliments on demand, like he's a custom-made Talking Pee-Wee Herman Doll: "You're #beautiful, just like the title of your upcoming stone groove smash hit wonder with Miguel, Mariah!" "You are the biggest selling female recording artist of all time, Mariah!" "Pee on me!" You know, things of that nature.

Earlier today, Mariah Carey posted almost three minutes of herself listening to herself (specifically her rendition of "O Come, All Ye Faithful") and rambling over the blaring music about celebrating Christmas in February. In the YouTube clip, she shows off a Christmas tree recently purchased in Connecticut, a roaring fire and decorations. She wishes everyone a merry Christmas and an early happy Valentine's Day. It is a festive, seasonally malapropos moment.

The musician Claire Boucher, better known as Grimes, is responsible for one of last year's most acclaimed indie albums, Visions. This morning, she posted an essay on her Tumblr regarding her pop-filled best-of 2012 music list. In it, she praised Beyoncé ("She is everything good"), "Gangam Style" mastermind Psy ("Psy is a genius and I don't think it's so terrible that he's been recognized for this") and Mariah Carey ("The first time I heard Mariah Carey it shattered the fabric of my existence and I started Grimes").

Last night's American Idol should have included footage of the infamous Mariah Carey/Nicki Minaj feud, which TMZ broke the news on in October, getting us (well, me, at least) all excited in the process. Instead of hearing Mariah call Nicki a "bitch" in earnest and Nicki yelp, "Off with your head, off with your head," in HD, we got what led up to the ranting and exasperation: a disagreement about pigeonholing a singer who'd auditioned as "country." Nicki ended up storming off, and during the next round of auditions, both parties seemed to be walking on eggshells around each other.

On last night's American Idol, Mariah Carey's irrepressible eccentricity once again took a starring role. She asked a guy with a stutter (in a segment that played my emotions like a harp), "Tell me about the way you speak — is that someone thing you're working on, or...?" She told a young woman, "I know what it's like to sing through tears." She reported that Mariah is "the 62nd most popular name," and you know she takes all credit for that. She said, "Cool beans...salad."

The powers that be at American Idol want us to think that Mariah Carey and Nicki were at each other's throats from the get go, in one of the most ostentatious diva battles pop culture has ever witnessed. Footage from the relatively harmonious first day of filming (when Mariah wore this) was moved to the end of last night's Season 12 premiere to make way for the subsequent bickering that happened as the divas got more comfortable with each other and/or were told by producers to ramp up the animosity. (The first hour of footage that was aired, by the way, was described as the first day of filming.)

Ladies and gentlemen, prepare your sympathies: when Mariah Carey was 19, someone (probably Tommy Mottola) drilled into her head that her left side is her "bad side." She has struggled with this affliction of knowledge ever since. She said she was doing better with it ("I don't care anymore," she lied in 2009), but then someone went and put her on the right in this setup for an American Idol promo interview on Wednesday.

Last night, Fox screened about an hour's worth of footage of the first two episodes of the upcoming season of American Idol (premiering Wednesday) to fans and contest winners in movie theaters around the country. It was as weird as it sounds, but thoroughly entertaining. Immediately, it was clear that pitting classic diva (Mariah Carey) against nu-diva (Nicki Minaj) is every bit the genius casting that it seemed to be when it was announced last year. And what's more, Nicki Minaj has emerged as the favorite in this now-legendary, inevitable feud. Minaj wins in the category of what matters most: entertainment value. She is by far the most magnetic persona on the judging panel.

Come next week, we'll get to see with our own eyes if the pop-culture feud of 2012 is as fake as it seems when American Idol begins its 12th season featuring Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj on its judging panel. But until then, we'll just have to take their word for it. Nicki has already weighed in, and Mariah got an extended chance to do so last night on Nightline when she sat down with the always daffy Barbara Walters.

Mariah Carey sits in front of her new MacBook that Nick bought her for Christmas and holds one of her precious babies on her lap. Is it Monroe? Or maybe Moroccan? Damn, she forgot again. She's wearing a Santa red mini dress and sky high pumps on her feet. Her Santa cap hasn't left her head in days. December is a weird time in the Carey household and everyone knows it. All of her holiday staff is fully aware of what December means to her.

Nick Cannon was on Howard Stern's Sirius show today, so of course he was talking about weird shit and of course it concerned his favorite topic, his wife Mariah Carey. That's sweet and undoubtedly key to getting along with her (you know how much she loves her lambs), but it's rare to hear so much revealed about a woman of such stature via her husband. Every interview yields a new Mariah anecdote. (Fun fact: He once confirmed to me that she will remind him that she's the biggest-selling female recording artist of all time in order to win an argument.)

As long as there is Christmas, there will be attempts to spruce up and breathe new life into Mariah Carey's most enduring contribution to pop music, her 1994 holiday classic "All I Want for Christmas Is You." Mimi has sanctioned a a bass version, a house version, an Extra Festive version, a SuperFestive! version with Justin Bieber. But the rendition she performed on last night's Fallon, alongside Jimmy Fallon, the Roots, and a chorus of actual children, is by far the best spin put on this thing since the Phil Spector-inspired original. Few people could pull off the classroom-instrument arrangement with the grace of the "eternally 12" Mariah, and if there's any perfect time to act like a child, surely it is Christmas.

Nicki Minaj's nonstop commercial/reality show Nicki Minaj: My Truth addressed the pop star/rapper's supposed beef with fellow American Idol judge Mariah Carey during its second episode last night. According to Nicki, she "reached her boiling point" after being "egged on" by Carey and "storm[ing] off" the set. She returned to receive "another jab" from Carey, and that is when she unleashed her rant, which was filmed and then posted on TMZ.

Everyone can stop worrying: debate expert President Barack Obama has finally weighed in on the Nicki Minaj-Mariah Carey American Idol feud. During an interview with something called "The Yo Show," the president said the following:

Stevie Nicks has apologized for saying she would murder Nicki Minaj. At least she isn't acting like it never happened.

If you think that Stevie Nicks is a bizarre person to weigh in on the Mariah Carey/Nicki Minaj American Idol feud, she'll see your bizarreness and raise you a murderous impulse. Pop music's most cherished witch figure seems to be the last person in the world who doesn't think Mariah and Nicki's public squabbling is a publicity stunt to court interest for the dying brand that is Idol, and that's a great thing because Nicks is saying ridiculous stuff as a result. Stuff like: