There's an old joke about the difference between prostitution and sex being that you're paying someone to go away in the morning. That said, if you're married to Swedish countess Marie Douglas-David, it officially costs $50M to kick her out.

Marie Douglas-David, the Swedish countess who's been embroiled in one of the nastiest divorces in recent memory, has finally settled her long-running legal dispute with George David, the chairman of United Technologies. In addition to the $45 million she got as part of postnup, she's expected to collect another $10 million or so, which means she'll walk away with about $21,000 for every day the Davids were married. [NYP]

Countess divorceé Marie Douglas-David's long ordeal is mercifully drawing to a close. The lovelorn Swede has nearly reached a settlement with her CEO ex-husband, George Davis, the world's biggest pussy. Marie shall be rewarded the bare minimum necessary to survive.

George David, the wealthy ex-husband of Swedish countess divorceé Marie Douglas-David, is happy to reveal himself as the World's Biggest Pussy to fight his ex-wife's gold-digging. We just go along with this dynamic! Today: George David's no P-I-M-P.

The news-less summer is saved—the Countess Divorceé trial continues, mercifully! The latest preposterous occurrence: Marie Douglas-David's CEO hubby was not only raped, but also menaced. By his wife's imperious tones!

• George Clooney went out to celebrate his 48th birthday last week, had too much to drink, and ended up hurling in the VIP area. Clooney denies it was him, though, and says he was just "sitting next to someone who did throw up." [NYDN]
• Cops were called to Lindsay Lohan's house yesterday after a security alarm sounded and officers initially thought the house had been ransacked. It turns out Lindsay always keeps her house that way, which means in addition to everything else, she probably could use a good housekeeper, too. [TMZ]
• Marie Douglas-David has been embroiled in a nasty divorce with her elderly husband George David. Now she has a new man. She's dating a Swedish financier named Johan Saxon, and he's only seven years older than her. [P6]
• Lydia Hearst is going topless—again—in a new movie with Jason Behr. [P6]

Okay so you know that Swedish countess Marie Douglas-David needs $53K per week to live because her CEO (soon-to-be-ex) husband was overly generous and divorce-fetishy (and submissive), but did you know she made him rich?

Why would a rich guy sleep with his trophy wife and another woman? Because he's a lying cheat? Or because his uncontrollable Swedish bride knew he was leaving but took his body anyway?

Marie Douglas-David's bitter divorce from United Technologies chairman George David is going to haunt us for weeks, it seems. Just when you think the couple might take a cue from the grim economic climate—and overwhelmingly negative press coverage—and, like, chill, comes another round of craziness.

Swedish countess Marie Douglas-David was in court explaining why she wants $100 million in her divorce: her husband was too generous! Then again, he's a heartless control freak. And she's a shrew! They're perfect together:

Marie Douglas-David, the Swedish countess divorcee who is demanding $100 million from her soon-to-be-ex-husband to meet her $53,000-per-week minimum needs, is now telling her side of the story: her husband's a divorce sex fiend!

Some people's entire lives were created just to help the tabloids stoke class warfare. There's no other explanation for Swedish countess Marie Douglas-David, who needs $53K per week just to survive. She can prove it!

Millions of Americans are struggling on account of the crappy economy, but can we all take a minute to reflect on the especially difficult situation in which Marie Douglas-David now finds herself? The Swedish countess, former investment banker, and estranged wife of United Technologies chairman George David appeared in divorce court yesterday and started things off by asking a judge to toss out the $36 million postnup she signed, since that kind of chump change will "barely last her a decade," and it's not like she can go out and get another finance job or anything what with her husband's constant ridicule having "diminished her self-confidence." She's now asking for a larger cut of David's $300 million fortune, but maybe a new career for Douglas-David isn't out of the realm of possibility. David's lawyer said that the countess constantly subjected her husband to long lectures on "how he held his fork or how he drafted invitations." And isn't that how Martha Stewart got started? [NYP]

The next time someone tells you you're high maintenance, point them in the direction of Marie Douglas-David, the estranged wife of United Technologies chairman George David. The Swedish countess and former employee of Lazard Asset Management is asking her elderly husband—he's three decades her senior—to cough up $53,000 a week to pay for her living expenses, including $8,000 for travel, $4,500 for clothing, and $600 for weekly flower deliveries. (Oh, and she'd also like to hang on to the couple's 10,000-square-foot penthouse at 740 Park Avenue.) It's reassuring to hear that the economic meltdown hasn't disrupted everyone's spending habits. We were beginning to worry! [NYP]