BusinessWeek's hype-killing article on Google's product line has everyone buzzing about the company's product cycle. Guest writer Garry Bibb explains the process — it all starts with a Battlestar Galactica marathon and some Mike's Hard Lemonade.

9:00 P.M. Under Route 101.
It is nightfall. The almost-silhouetted gangs come in from separate sides: climbing over the fences or crawling through holes in the walls. There is silence as they fan out on opposite sides of the cleared space. Then one of the Yahoos' Sidekicks rings, and they really have to take this call, so everyone waits and a few Googlers check in on Dodgeball.

The Washington Post and "don't call me the Segway inventor" Dean Kamen want geeks to be famous. Rather than letting creative geniuses get all the glory for their piddly "Oscars" and their "works of timeless art," the Post and Kamen want kids to worship real role models like the Google guys and YouTube founders.

Google's most public VP occasionally slips beyond even the most creative interpreter's grasp. But in Marissa Mayer's latest interview in BusinessWeek, her message is clear — once it's translated from Valleyspeak.

In BusinessWeek's latest article on Marissa Mayer (yes! another!), the Google senior VP trips lightly over the cliff of metaphor and lands on the rocks of absurdity. Either her fictional schedule finally got to her, or her brain's gone unwired:

Marissa Mayer gave a hint about why she, unlike other Google VPs, actually filled out her Orkut profile. In a panel at Fortune's Brainstorm conference, the Senior VP of Search Products and User Experience also got just a touch creepy.

Google Blogoscoped went and did it — the search blog revealed info from the Orkut profiles of major Googlers to the unwashed, uninvited masses.

BusinessWeek put Google VP Marissa Mayer on this week's cover. But the more interesting photo is atop the Inside Innovation section. Which forces the question —

The world is made by people with lists — Nixon kept his enemies list, Machiavelli had his list of rules for a prince, and how could the Black Mamba have killed Bill without her list of katana-victims-to-be? That's why Marissa Mayer's 9 Notions of Innovation prove her worth to the world.

Marissa "I'm a human, honest" Mayer finally relented and gave an interview to BusinessWeek. Not counting the other ones.) This month's puff piece lists the Google VP's daily schedule. Let's take a look.

Wrap up the Powerbook cord and follow Esther Dyson to the next con — the D Conference winds down today. For actual news from people who are there, check out the Wall Street Journal's blog. (Favorite post: Turning the schmaltz up to 11.) For trumped-up news filtered through the snark machine, look no further. Photos by ZDNet reporter Dan Farber.

To anyone wondering why Valleywag had no birthday message for Marissa Mayer: I wanted to avoid celebrating this sham holiday, since it's clear that this Google VP was not born of man.

Oh, that's too cute. As the creator of this adorable little Steve Gillmor animation said, "Ding dong, everything's dead." Watch or just play the audio of the ZDNet pundit declaring search, Office, and so many other wicked witches, dead under Dorothy's porch.

Like a mattress store desperate for another sale week, we're holding Christmas in May, thanks to this reader-submitted holiday poem about Larry and Sergey coming to town (On Mayer! On Schmidtty! On Vint Cerf and Blitzen!). Eight witty stanzas after the jump — so click through that mofo.

A good week for wit. Blackjack blows everyone else away with the lyrics to Marissa Mayer's beatbox:

Yes, this is the bone-chilling laugh of Google VP-and-spokeswoman Marissa Mayer. Yes, someone sampled it over a beat and sent it in. Yes, we all have too much time on our hands. Now listen.

Marissa Mayer's laugh is one of those iconic sounds of American culture. Like the NBC chimes and the phrase "I'm Rick James, bitch," the nervous giggle of the Google VP forever echoes in the mind of the zeitgeist. VC Paul Kedrosky calls it "unnerving." Various Stanford students e-mailed in noting the same.

Ah! Ah! Ah! Google VP Marissa Mayer is speaking at Stanford right now just finished speaking after this post went live, sorry.

Are the public faces of Google all wagging the dog by seeding their own gossip? One reader says the Google soap opera is scripted. But watch where you step in this sticky conspiracy theory — sprinkle some "sic"s and "alleged"s in there. Before the jump, the theorist gives the mounting evidence. After the jump, their theories.

Google VP Marissa Mayer just announced customized search system Google Co-op.