There is nothing—nothing—more American than McDonald's. So would weird, less-American competitors please stop trying to overtake McDonald's dominance? Soon, Subway will have more stores than McD's. What pansy message does this send to the world? Americans eat cucumbers?!?

• A few new restaurants scheduled open this week or next. [Gothamist]
• Expansions du jour: Michael Psilakis (Anthos, Kefi, Gus & Gabriel) may or may not be looking to launch a Greek food-truck. And Michael Huynh (Bar Bao, Baoguettes) is planning to open O Bao Noodles & Grill on East 53rd St. this fall.
• Bars and restaurants often continue to operate after they file for bankruptcy. That doesn't appear to be the case with Merkato 55, though. [Eater]
• Oprah's diet was destroyed during a visit to NYC last weekend. Of course, potato skins at Planet Hollywood and dessert at Serendipity 3 will do that. [P6]

• Allen & Delancey has filed for bankruptcy, but will remain open. [Eater, GS]
• A peek inside the new Oceana opening near Rockefeller Center. [Eater]
• Le Souk is reopening on Ave B and now plans to open a second location. [GS]
• New NYT dining critic Sam Sifton on having his photo all over the web: "I look different now... I'm using a comb for the first time since the 1990s." [WWD]
• Which chain has better coffee: Starbucks, Mickey D's, or Dunkin'? [Slate]
• How does Padma Lakshmi keep thin? Exercise, believe it or not. [NYT]

• According to Epicurious, the best burger in NYC is at DuMont's. [Epicurious]
• Mike Satsky and Brian Gefter, owners of the now-shuttered Stereo, plan to open a new spot called Provocateur in the Gansevoort Hotel this fall. [P6]
• The long-delayed, brunch-only spot Permanent Brunch opens Monday. [GS]
• A roundup of recent restaurant closings around town. [Eater]
• A roundup of where various celebs supposedly dined this week. [GS]
• That video of Gwyneth Paltrow cooking roast chicken? Until recently, she claimed she was a vegan and hadn't eaten meat in 15 years. [NYDN]

• Kogi, the Korean taco truck that LA residents have been buzzing about for months, opened in midtown today for an hour with Top Chef contestant Lee Anne Wong dishing out the food. Don't feel too bad if you missed out. New York should get a Kogi truck of its own by the end of the summer. [ML, GS, ML]
• A roundup of restaurants scheduled to open this week. [Eater]
• The UWS branch of Fatty Crab will start serving lunch next Monday. [GS]
• Adam Platt gives one star to Table 8 in this week's issue of New York. [NYM]
• Citysearch's guide to the best barbecue joints in NYC is online. [Citysearch]
• Have you heard about the 14-year-old chef from East Hampton who opened a catering company at 11? You will! The kid's getting a reality show. [THR]

McDonald's is trying to take advantage of the recession to crush Starbucks by flooding America with cheap, faux-fancy McCafé coffeé. Despité the nation's most annoyingé ad campaigné, McD's is winning the battle for the (formerly) yuppié soul:

• The New York City outpost of Govind Armstrong's Table 8 opens tomorrow evening inside the Cooper Square Hotel. [Eater, Zagat]
• Now that Todd English is out, The Libertine has hired itself a new chef. [Zagat]
• Robert De Niro's universally reviled Ago has officially shuttered. [Eater]
• Some suggestions on where to take your mom for Mother's Day. [Zagat]
• Pinkberry is now making deliveries; a $10 minimum is required. [Crain's]
• Places to go to drink yourself into oblivion in honor of Cinco de Mayo. [GS]

Are you overwhelmed today by the sheer force of the $100 million "marketing blitz" for McDonald's McCafé, the "mother of all campaigns" that's "impossible to escape"? Dié Starbucks! Drink McDonald's Coffeé Or Elsé!

• Richard Caring, the mogul who owns London's Le Caprice and Soho House, is taking over the Cafe Pierre and renaming Le Caprice New York. [NYT]
• Simon Oren is opening a bistro, bar and bakery on West 33rd St. [NYP]
• Barry Wine of Quilted Giraffe fame is working with Tishman Speyer to find a new restaurateur to take over the Rainbow Room. [NYO]
• Tavern on the Green has been sued once again. [Eater]
• Veritas on East 20th Street has unveiled a brand new menu. [TFB]
• You ask, Frank answers: "Is it considered poor manners to insist that a waiter write down an order instead of attempting to commit it to memory?" [NYT]
• St. Patrick's Day is a week from today. Zagat has a few bar ideas. [Zagat]
• Sales are up at McDonald's thanks to the recession. [NYP]
• Want some credit crunch cookies? They're "crisp and loaded with chips," although at $8, you may be better off sticking to Pepperidge Farm. [NYDN]

Last week we totally harshed on NBC's 30 Rock for writing McDonald's McFlurry into its script in such a sellout-y way. But it was all natural, no ad money, just for fun, allegedly!

• Unsurprisingly, Jason Wu's show was a big hit today, and Anna herself made an appearance. [WSJ, NYM, WWD]
• Reports from Charlotte Ronson's show. [WWD, WWD, NYM, Racked]
• Reports from Yigal Azrouël's show. [WWD, NYM, Fashionologie]
• Fashion Week's official coffee, brought to you by McDonald's, is "actually not that bad." [Racked]
• Photos from Rachel Roy's fall collection. [Pipeline]
• Topshop has been delayed again; it's now scheduled for April. [WWD]
• Ally Hilfiger is planning to launch her own line. [NYO]
• Christian Siriano is covering Fashion Week for Time. [Time]
• Shoshanna will appear in the Judith Ripka's new ad campaign. [FWD]
• Diesel's Fifth Ave flagship opens next week. [FWD, Racked]

• Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabanna are playing priests in Rob Marshall's new movie, Nine. Yes, that's right, priests. [WWD]
• McDonald's is the official coffee of Fashion Week. Yes, that's right, McDonald's. Free espresso all week, folks! [AdAge]
• Did Saks screw up retail forever when it slashed prices last November? Possibly. [WSJ]
• Istithmar says it has no plans to sell Barneys. [NYT]
• Vera Wang plans to branch out to footwear this spring. [WWD]
• Henry Holland's Grammy dress for MIA earned him tons of attention last night; he's now gearing up for London Fashion Week. [Telegraph, Independent]
• Jason Wu talks about what he has planned for Fashion Week. [NYDN]
• Alexander Wang is introducing limited-edition condoms. They'll be sold at Thompson Hotels and the proceeds go to Planned Parenthood. [NYM]

McDonald's is providing the "official coffee" of New York Fashion Week in a bid to boost its image among fashionistas. Fat chance. But it will probably do something to Fashion Week's image.

• The Cutting Room is hoping to re-open on Franklin Street. [Eater]
• Anthony Martignetti says he plans to close and revamp Bar Martignetti. [GS]
• Frank Bruni gives a single star to Cabrito in his Times review today, subtracting points for the eatery's "maddening" inconsistencies. [NYT]
• More on the "21" Club's decision to end its 79-year tie requirement. [NYT]
• John Doherty is stepping down as the Waldorf-Astoria's exec chef. [NRN]
• Keith McNally chats with the Observer about Morandi, Minetta Tavern, and the "pizzeria with a twist" he plans to open a year from now or so. [NYO]
• Are Wall Streeters really eating at McDonald's to save on food? Maybe! [NYP]
• Health commissioner Thomas Frieden's latest target? Salt! [NYT]

If you were hoping that a benefit of economizing might be dropping a few pounds as a result of fewer expensive boozing sessions and restaurant meals, food experts would like to alert you to the inescapable relationship between a shrinking bank balance and a burgeoning waistline. According to one doom-mongering nutritionist, obesity "is a toxic result of a failing economic environment," basically due to the fact that McDonald's is so cheap. But looking on the bright side, at least the lines will be shorter at Whole Foods.

After he won 84 Olympic gold medals in Beijing and celebrated with a firm grip, Michael Phelps got a little screwy with his endorsement deals. He endorsed McDonald's, which made him seem insensitive to fat Americans who don't spend hours doing swimming drills every day, and he endorsed Frosted Flakes, which, you know, ditto. Some of his other endorsement choices came dangerously close to painting him as a nerd. But he's signed on with Subway now—a healthy choice! Screw McDonald's! But this causes as many problems as it solves for Fish Boy:

Just how bad is the global financial crisis? So bad that while many bistros and brasseries in Paris are now being forced to close their doors, McDonald's is expecting a 12 percent bump in sales this year. [Bloomberg]

Fast food is essentially made up of low-quality byproducts of better food. Leftover cow parts, ground pig parts... you can use your imagination. So it's best for fast food companies to stick with happy clowns and assorted other mascots in their ads, staying as far as possible from any image that could make you consider what's actually in the food you're buying. And they should especially make sure they never draw any parallels between their product and human flesh. I mean, yuck. So tell us, McDonald's, what went wrong here?:

Thompson LES, the latest addition to Jason Pomeranc’s hotel franchise, recently opened its shiny doors. (Well, prematurely half-opened: Before you book a room or head over for a drink, bear in mind that the pool, outdoor bar, and restaurant are still under construction.) The luxe lodge's rooms are equipped with mini-bars stocked by Dean and Deluca, Sferra linens, and Frette robes. But most importantly, guests won't be offended by badly-dressed staff, thanks to their Rogan Gregory-designed uniforms. But Gregory, who collaborated with Bono on the eco-friendly clothing line Edun, is far from the first designer to cash in by dressing the help. Employees at other swanky hotels, waitstaff at restaurants, athletes, and even the Boy Scouts can boast of high-end names on their uniforms' labels. For example: