A woman's New Year's Eve was ruined when she narrowly missed the ferry to Vancouver and couldn't convince the station staff to let her board after the cutoff time. With her boat about to depart without her, she threw a tremendous, last-ditch temper tantrum that has rocked Canada's national sense of politeness and propriety to its core.

For the season premiere of Kitchen Nightmares, Gordon Ramsay returned to the scene of the crime: Amy and Samy, the terrifying owners of Amy's Baking Company.

A Kanye West fan who just didn't get her idol's art was unceremoniously booted from a recent concert by Ye himself after asking him to take off his creepy-ass mask.

Over the weekend, nearly everyone and their oversharing aunt got their fill of Bachelor producer Elan Gale's incredible tale of mile-high misogyny.

Even though it certainly doesn't seem that way (or, at least it didn't until she told that adorable pants-shitting story), Jennifer Lawrence is only human.

Caution: If you are using headphones, lower the volume before pressing play or RIP.

On a scale of 1 to Taylor Chapman, this gentleman barking at Wendy's employees through the drive-thru window because they accidentally put cheese on his hamburger is a solid Scott Biumi.

A Scottsdale, Arizona, restaurateur whose very public meltdown in the aftermath of a now-infamous appearance on Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares nearly ran him out of business can now add "possible deportation" to his mounting list of troubles.

In six seasons of Kitchen Nightmares, Chef Gordon Ramsay has never quit on a client. Until last week, that is, when he found Amy and Samy Bouzaglo, owners of Amy's Baking Company in Scottsdale, Arizona, simply beyond help.

In a series of rambling, grammatically challenged Facebook and Twitter posts published last night, Internet personality Antoine Dodson appeared to claim that he was "no longer into homosexuality" and was now a devout Hebrew Israelite instead.

Now this is a football highlight reel.

During an open-air concert in Santiago, Chile, on Wednesday, Madonna got a bit testy with a fan who decided to visit flavor country in the middle of her set.

Many in the left-leaning media were extremely unhappy with Obama's performance during last night's presidential debate, but none made it clearer than MSNBC's Chris Matthews, who wailed like a Truth Siren at the president's feckless, listless first round.

There's no getting around it: This one's tough to watch.

Last we heard from Clayton Osbon, the disturbed JetBlue pilot who attempted to take down his own plane while yelling probably reasonable things about al-Qaeda and Jesus, his wife was somewhat defending him, saying his actions were not "intentionally violent." Now, in not-so-surprising news, a judge has ruled the 49-year old legally insane and therefore not guilty of of interfering with a flight crew, charges which could have lead to 20 years in jail.

It's been just under a week since pilot Clayton Osbon had a mid-air freakout and tried to take down a JetBlue flight. Today his wife issued the first public statement from the Osbon family, thanking the media for respecting their privacy but offering little explanation as to what caused Osbon's dramatic outburst.

Listen up, younguns: Here's how this recession is going to go. You're going to get laid off. You're going to find a new job right away, and convince yourself things aren't that bad. Then you're going to get laid off from that job, too. And all your friends are going to get laid off, too, and move out of California. It's time to revisit Odd Todd, the 2001-era dotcom layoff victim who chronicled his unemployment online. The downside: "You can't buy any ice cream, because you have no money, and you can't go shopping, because you have no money." The upside: "It beats frickin' working." Go watch it, and laugh now, before it stops being funny.

Apparently there's a major financial meltdown of tech stocks happening that's going to crush the US economy. Or something. I don't know, I'm not daytrader, In fact, I only buy the stocks listed by default on my iPhone because I don't know how to add new symbols. But the issue is apparently important enough for Microsoft to weigh in. Well today's featured commenter, macbeach, has managed to notice a peculiar pattern:

NEW YORK — Yahoo's last great sales chief and current Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia co-CEO Wenda Harris Millard joined a panel today as part of this week's Advertising Week festivities here in New York. As the talk began, all was light and mirthful. Then MIllard responded to the moderator's question on whether the Wall Street meltdown would spread beyond New York and impact the consumers who fund the advertisers who fund Silicon Valley. Millard's answer: "It's going to be a very tough coming 18 months if not longer. And I'm not usually a pessimist. I see some pretty severe implications for small to medium sized businesses." Millard said "a lot of cash has dried up" and credit simply won't be available to "the average consumer."

Thinking about making a run on your bank from the privacy of your own home? If you're a Bank of America customer, good luck — the site has been down since 8 a.m. PST, and the problem has seems to have grown worse since it started. At first, users couldn't verify their "SiteKey" to access their accounts. The company then disabled online access and posted a note to the homepage, pictured. I couln't even access the homepage until just now, possibly because millions of customers are now desperately checking and re-checking the site to see when access is restored. Now that I can get in, it looks like I still have some money! So don't panic — I'm sure Bank of America, like the rest of America's financial services industry, has everything under control.