Oh, glorious days of days! The sun fittingly shines upon our fair city in honor of movie god and new "father" Tom Cruise, who comes to Manhattan today to promote Mission: Impossible 3. A devoted Scientologist and/or reader scored a picture of Tom on his way in to Good Morning America, which kicks off a day of gallavanting about the island, via every possible mode of transportation, for three separate screenings of his film.
On the matter of school fundraiser auctions, a Barnard alum emails about the ladies' own auction. As she puts it, "I was pretty horrified to see my fabulously feminist alma matter Barnard College's offerings." Why so disturbing? Because, amidst the expected booty of a day at Seventeen (Toos Rubenstein '93) and a taping of Martha (Martha Stewart '63, Cyndi Stivers '78), there are a few special items:
In a filing with the State Supreme Court, the District Council of Carpenters has sought to boot hip-hop radio station Hot 97 (WQHT) from its offices in the union-owned building at 395 Hudson Street; union members have also nailed an eviction notice to the station's front doors. The council maintains that WQHT is responsible for a slew of violent incidents "that have shocked, offended, repulsed, or threatened the safety of other tenants" in the building. Episodes range from verbal confrontations (such as when DMX kindly informed a guard that that he was a "$8.50 an hour fuckwit") to actual gunshots. For your entertainment, the Smoking Gun has 16 entertaining pages detailing the specific confrontations.
We don't know how it's possible to have spent a significant chunk of our day scrutinizing photos from last night's Met Costume Institute Ball and not have vomited into our laps, but here we are, thighs clean and stomachs under control. The sartorial criticism should be left to those who are much better suited to it, but we can't ignore the image at right, of gay matador Zac Posen and his date, former Observer scribe-cum-swan Jessica Joffe.
The Village Community School — the private school of choice for the West Village's finest future bobos — is having their annual benefit auction, where one can bid online for all sorts of high-end items (like a week in Venice, which starts at $1000). Included in the posh array of desirables is Tony Soprano's "bloodied" shirt from the show's Season Six premiere, worn and autographed by James Gandolfini. The item is expected to fetch so much money that bidding will only be conducted on eBay.
• Accents galore: Brits Off Broadway brings indie theater from the UK to your living room. Definitely for those who prefer the original version of The Office. [flavorpill]
• What follows a gig as Bill Clinton's Secretary of State? Reading to the proles at Barnes & Noble, of course. Madeleine Albright moonlights at 7; buy the book and end her misery. [Paper]
• The Yeah Yeah Yeahs screech for the mainstream, hitting Roseland to play for the masses. Go and talk loudly about "when they were still cool." [Upcoming]
There's really something magical about being cast on the Sopranos. Not only can it make your acting career (don't kid yourself into thinking you otherwise have chops, Sigler), but it can kickstart your real-life criminal calling. Lillo Brancato Jr., who played Matt Bevilaqua, was charged with murder; Robert Iler, who plays A.J. Soprano, pleaded guilty to misdemeanor larceny; Vincent Pastore, better known as Big Pussy, was arrested for beating his girlfriend; and Tony Sirico, who plays Paulie Walnuts, has 28 arrests to his name (all from before his thespian pursuits).
• Sometimes known as The Microphones (but not today), Mt. Eerie performs his "lo-fi, often acoustic tunes" tonight at Knickerbocker. Lo-fi, acoustic, schizo — it's OK for a Monday. [flavorpill]
• You might only remember Bernadette Peters from The Jerk, but she's actually had a legitimate enough career to land her at Lincoln Center. Catch up on what you missed tonight in Avery Fisher Hall. [Paper]
• James Howard Knustler brings his apocalyptic, environmental premonitions to the most appropriate of audiences: the literary alchies at Half-King. Join the rampant activism at a reading of The Long Emergency. [Half King]
A lady who lunches informs us that Noho eateries Five Points and Noho Star are closed for lunch due to the immigration strike — anyone know of any other venues suffering because of headstrong laborers? We called Five Points to confirm and received the following explanation: "You know, because most of the kitchen staff..." [Voice awkwardly trails off.] Oh yes, we know. [Eyes roll, disapproving shake of head.]
Friday:
• The Death of Little Ibsen is different from all the other Ibsen commemorative productions in one important way: puppets. Get your Norweigan on at the Sanford Meisner Theater. [flavorpill]
• The Nietszche Circle convenes at the New School for a night of killing God and other fun group activities. Just another Friday night. [Upcoming]
Daily Candy editor-at-large Dannielle Romano grabs hold of DC founder Dany Levy. We fear we have pictures of Dannielle displaying similar enthusiasm for us.
• "Harry Partch created his own 43-note intonation system and then handcrafted and altered instruments to play within it." 1 out of every 50 audience members will know what that means, but it doesn't mean that Dean Drummond's Newband concernt won't be fun. We think. [flavorpill]
• Monkey Town hosts Earl Dax's Fishbowl Cabaret video/performance tonight. If the queerness doesn't do it for you, we hear they have a complete reel of Tom Cruise on Oprah. A psychosis retrospective is never dull. [Monkey Town]
• NYU hosts "My Russian Grandparents and Their American Vaccuum Cleaner," a talk by Israeli author Meir Shalev. "My Canadian Cousin and their Guatamalan Dustpan" was sold-out. [Upcoming]
Like it or not, Tom Cruise is riding his fucked-up crazy train into Manhattan next Wednesday to promote his newborn baby, Mission: Impossible 3. But because life moves at the speed of Cruise, he'll be racing between his gajillion screenings and appearances by helicopter, speedboat, Porsche, and private subway car. Promotional intensity, people: the Cruise ain't on no leisure cruise.
• Nothing says spring like nuclear hell. Voices from Chernobyl, tonight at Housing Works UBC, commemorates the 20th anniversary of the Ukrainian disaster. [flavorpill]
• If you can't sit through the thinky Tribeca fodder, the NYC Downtown Film Festival features 50 films in a number of genres lasting from 5 to 20 minutes. Bring your Adderall and your artsy goggles. [Uncool Kids]
• Hello, I'm Special is a literary variety contest featuring boozed up talents competing for the honor of being the Most Special Person Ever. Brought to you by the special, chosen folks at Jewcy. [Ars Nova]
Because secretly he's a conservationist, Donald Trump is donating 436 acres from the New York City watershed area, located in two counties about 45 miles north of Yorktown, to create a state park in his name. The property is made up of wooded areas, meadows and wetlands, and will be used for recreational purposes. Haven't we all dreamed of a weekend of hiking in Donald J. Trump?
There's an altogether appropriate (yet still depressing) piece in the Observer today that documents the decline of New Yorkers' desire to go out, marked by a current enthusiasm over grocery stores and a palpable disdain for the hip nightlife and culture that now strikes so many as too expensive, too obnoxious, and just too damn painful. And it's true, really. Whereas once the young and well-heeled would've flocked to the hotspot du jour without question, now more and more of them stay in, wanting nothing more than to avoid the cacophonous hell of a Lohan-approved night out. Have we given up?
