• We think this Internets thing is gonna be huge. Videobloggers agree and tonight screen their collected works culled from the reaches of the superhighway. Video and internet automatically equals porn, so it should be fun. [Upcoming]
• Have you heard of this guy, Ben Kunkel? No? He wrote some book about a confused 28-year-old with decision-making problems. We hear it's gonna be big. [Happy Ending]
• The New Pornographers (and old Pornographer Dan Bejar) play you some nice pop tunes at Webster Hall tonight. Get the early and soak in the sounds of Destroyer. Trust us, it's worth braving the monsoon. [flavorpill]

A Manhattan-bound commuter reports on a unique F-train ride this morning:

And in more news from the tristate area:

• Esquire crash test dummy A.J. Jacobs appears at Strand Bookstore tonight to participate in a trivia quiz tie-in for his book, The Know-It-All: One Man's Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Person in the World. If you don't actually want to go, feel free to outsource someone in your stead. [Strand]
• The editors of the Onion read from Embedded in America: Complete News Archives Volume 16 at the Astor Place Barnes and Noble tonight. Go and heckle them about their softball skills. [Upcoming]
• Fag-tastic comedian Graham Norton riffs on all things gay (sample topics: casual sex, Craiglist, and chatrooms — his examples, not ours) in the first of a 12-show set at the Village Theater. [flavorpill]

In this edition of Gawker Stalker: Tim Robbins at the new La Esquina, a lengthy rumination on relationship between Noah Baumbach and Meryl Streep, Al Pacino giving the bird, Josh Harnett and Scarlett Johansson, David Bowie and Iman, Katie Couric and her Birkin bag, Bono and The Edge, Dennis Leary, Ralph Fiennes, Liam Neeson, and Gina Gershon at U2, William H. Macy, Willem Dafoe, Oliver Stone, Tony Kurtis, Lauren Bush, Frankie Muniz, Tommy Hilfiger, Tara Subkoff, Lenny Kravitz, Rachel Hunter, Al Sharpton, Isaac Mizrahi, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Julianna Margulies, Michelle Williams, Minnie Driver, Amy Poehler, Leslie Stahl, Matthew Modine, Amanda Lepore, Graham Norton, Kathleen Turner and Holland Taylor, John Pankow, Efren Ramirez and Chris Barrett, Scott Speedman, Carlos Leon, Jessica and Sasha Seinfeld, Aerin Lauder, Trey Anastasio, Clinton Kelly, John Cameron Mitchell, Curtis Sliwa, and... LES JEWELS!

• Brits Kieran Hebden (aka Four Tet) and Jamie Lidell perform at Bowery Ballroom tonight. Flavorpill claims "you won't see a better 'laptop' show this decade." We dare not argue with such clairvoyant gusto. [flavorpill]
• Joan Didion's newest work, The Year of Magical Thinking, chronicles her attempt to deal with the sudden death of her husband (novelist John Gregory Dunne) while her only daughter lays in a coma. We generally prefer not to shatter our fragile and highly skewed perception of reality with actual perspective, so we re not touching it. But we've read it's good. Union Square Barnes and Noble, 7pm. [TONY]
• The benevolent folks at Bookforum throw "A Night of New Orleans" at Cooper Union's Great Hall, featuring readings by Robert Stone, Donna Tartt, Roy Blount, Jr. and others. Better late than never, we suppose. [Bookforum]

Friday:
• Flavorpill teams up with the Guggenheim to bring you First Fridays, a monthly DJ party at the museum. We always thought our appreciation of 13th century Russian artwork would be augmented with some thumpin' drum and bass. [flavorpill]
• Like every other potential Nobel Prize frontrunner in recent history, Bono follows kicks off his weekend with a show at MSG. [Upcoming]
Saturday:
• Who is the Most Complex Conceptual Artist of Our Time? Fuck if we know, but head to Avalon (not a misprint) tonight at 10pm to find out: Works by everyone to Andy Warhol to Salvador Dali will be on display, and you get an open bar for your efforts. Who knew shitty Guido club-going could be so, like, intellectually stimulating?
• Bet you didn't know Architecture Week is about to kick off in New York, with hundreds of sites spread over all five boroughs opening their doors for you to come pass judgment on. We couldn't think of a better time to trek all around the city via subway visiting important landmarks. [flavorpill]
Sunday:
• 26 cats and 7 clowns shimmy up poles, leap from 20-foot platforms, walk tightropes, and ride dogs barebacked. You can't make this shit up. [flavorpill]

Sightings are sent in by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

9:30 A.M.
Elizabeth Hurley and Evelyn Lauder dedicate Song's new Pink Plane for breast cancer awareness; JFK International Airport, Song Gate Area, Terminal 2.
—Contact: Randi Peck

• De La Soul headline a show at Central Park sponsored by Al Gore focus-group lovespawn Current TV. Because nothing says "cutting edge youth culture" like a band who released their seminal album in 1989. [TBTV]
• Kurt Vonnegut sips on some good old-fashion haterade with Pulitzer Prize winner Art Buchwald, Air America scribe Barry Crimmins, and The Realist founder Paul Krassner as part of the New York Society of Ethical Culture's "Beating Around the Bush." Don't worry, the name of the program is likely less clever than the participants. [SevenStories]
• Brooklyn-based stellastarr* play a sold-out show at Irving Plaza tonight with Giant Drag and The Twenty Twos. Scalping is imminent. Nada Surf play Bowery if you like your music more ironically sentimental. [flavorpill]

Sightings are sent in by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

• So, last week we said that we were officially waving goodbye to Katrina benefits in the to-do list. Yeah, we lied. Tonight at Mo' Pitkins, Vice Records' Adam Shore and MTV Unplugged's Alex Coletti bring you (we kid not) "When Every Second Counts: How to Organize a Successful Benefit Concert ASAP," plus the tunage of Dave Deporis, The Black Spoons, and Bravo Silva. After all, it's always good to stock up on batteries, non-perishable food items, and disaster-related indie marketing expertise before the next hurricane hits. [MoPitkins]
• Mike Albo, Gary Shteyngart, Adam Haslett, and The Believer's hot-tubbing editor, Heidi Julavits, read from some of the works of Italy's best young writers as part of The Writer s Life: Italy and America at the Used Book Caf . Wine and cheese to follow, natch. [flavorpill]
• The Decemberists play Webster Hall. If you can t make time to hear Colin Meloy s quaint little pop ditties tonight, you ll get another chance tomorrow. [Upcoming]

In this Michelle Williams/Heath Ledger-free edition of Gawker Stalker: Claire Danes, Jay-Z, Chris Rock, Matt Damon, Ed Burns and Christy Turlington, Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow, Liam Neeson, Kevin Bacon, Tina Fey, Kate Bosworth, Joss Stone, Amy Poehler, Neil Patrick Harris, Matthew Broderick, Topher Grace, David Schwimmer, Keri Russell, Jimmy Fallon, Christina Applegate, Leelee Sobieski, Woody Harrelson, Tony Curtis, Lindsay Lohan, Ric Ocasek from the Cars, Ashlee Simpson, Carolina Herrera, Mark Cuban, Tony Kushner, grungy Olsen Twins, David Wain from Stella, Peter Bogdonovich, Robin Givens, Molly Ringwald, and Lewis Black.

On this blessed day, both Jews and goyim alike shall celebrate.

• Another Bullshit Night in Suck City writer Nick Flynn tells you how he spent his early twenties being an alcoholic bum at a reading at Sebastian Junger haunt Half King. We re still waiting for our turn to pen a memoir about being an alcoholic bum in our early twenties. [Half King]
• Architecture in Helsinki are actually from Australia, but they play Warsaw at the Polish National Home in Brooklyn tonight. Quirky chamber pop has never made us feel more mislead, or multinational. [Paper]
• Tonight s Hurricane Katrina show at Bowery Ballroom featuring Sufjan Stevens, Adam Green, and Grizzly Bear is, unfortunately, sold out. Though if you haven t given to the Red Cross by now, attending a single benefit concert likely isn t saving your soul. [flavorpill]

Friday:
• Detroit's Electric Six, says Flavorpill, has a "reputation for campy disco among the hipster cognoscenti." We can't imagine how this is possibly a selling point, but they play at Bowery Ballroom. [flavorpill]
• See how funny Curb Your Enthusiasm star Jeff Garlin is without cranky Jew sidekick Larry David when he performs standup tonight at Caroline's. [Caroline's]
• Or you can just crash the Miramax party at M1-5, where we hear the open bar is also open to you, Joe Public.
Saturday:
It's time for a classic Battle of the Boroughs!
• Indie legends the Pixies and Gang of Four headline the Across the Narrows Festival in Brooklyn (along with Built to Spill, Rilo Kiley, and Death From Above 1979). [Upcoming]
OR
• The Killers and Interpol take the stage in Staten Island. We'll be damned if we're breaking our Staten Island cherry over this, so Brooklyn it is. [Upcoming]
Sunday:
• Madlib, J-Rocc, and Cut Chemist take the stage with some Brazilian drummers at Spirit (for free, no less). Regardless, you're gonna have to try a lot harder to drag us away from Desperate Housewives. [RareForm]

Those new subway rules — you know, the ones adding fines for open containers, and forbidding you to spread out over more than one seat, and banning moving between cars — were, after being tabled TK ago*, passed by the MTA board yesterday. So that means, among other things, no morning java on the train.

Click to enlarge.

Not that anyone who knows anything about Brooklyn politics would have bet against this hondler, but, almost two years after Brooklyn Borough President Marty Markowitz first proposed the idea, he's finally getting his way. The city's Department of Transportation two weeks ago approved a sign now posted on the Williamsburg Bridge, directed at Manhattan-bound drivers: "Leaving Brooklyn; Oy Vey!"

• Princeton prof Paul Krugman speaks at the 92nd Street Y on topics ranging from as Social Security to international trade. The $25 ticket price, unfortunately, is not included in your TimesSelect package. [flavorpill]
• AIDS activist Larry Kramer and New Yorker scribe Michael Specter appear at The Strand bookstore to discuss Kramer's latest book, The Tragedy of Today's Gays. We're not even touching this joke without a pair of latex gloves. [Strand Books]
• Imaginary Socialite and Fashion Week Daily scribe Faran Krentcil and College Humor's Jakob Lodwick are among the participants in Paper Magazine's "Noisemakers under 25" panel. Huh, we could have sworn Malcolm Gladwell held a discussion on just this a little while back. [Paper]