• Cop-slugging reporter Alycia Lane sued her former employer, saying the Philly TV station pushed her into an embarassing Dr. Phil interview, as though there is any other kind. [AP]

After a bumpy spring protecting and investing their billion dollar baby Miley Cyrus, today brings news that there may be additional troubles brewing over at the Mouse House. 15-year old Selena Gomez, the rising star of the newest Disney series Wizards Of Waverly Place, whose elevator pitch was most likely "Gossip Girl Meets Harry Potter Meets Charmed But Like, Happy!," is reportedly usurping the scandal-plagued Cyrus' dimming star power. Quietly crowned “The Next Miley Cyrus” by various newsies, the Miley lookalike (minus gummy smile, plus premature Jolie-level hotness) plays Alex, whose painfully ironic mantra is "cast magic first, ask questions later." But the turbulence among competing teens trying to catch their big break by stepping over their peers left and right is a trend as old as the Mousketeers’ first dimpled disciples. After the jump, we count down our top three favorite teen feuds of yesteryear.

Celebrity gossip. Some of us love it, some of us hate it. Most of us, though, sort of love to pretend to hate it but secretly love it. Though, admit it, lately it's been a bit staid. Everything now just seems a bit tired (or, you know, British). So is celebrity gossip really dead? For our sake, we hope not. And, really, we don't think it is. We're just in a time of change, the old guard is leaving and a new, squeaky foaming-at-the-mouth group of celebutantes is entering. People are so very tired of Britney, she does nothing but ride tiny cars these days, and Lindsay Lohan seems actually (shriek!) sorta cleaned-up and is working. So let's get on with the new ones. But who will they be? Well, as is (sigh) clearly evident, young starlets will get the brunt of gossip's harsh glare, but there will be some men, too. Find our picks for 16 of America's next top freak idols after the jump.

• Republican-leaning movie star Bruce Willis opened a yuppie-friendly wine bar in the East Village, which prompted protests from neighborhood lefties and counterprotests from the Young Republicans. Turns out? He's not a partner in the bar, he just lent his name as a favor. Because, you know, wine, action movie star Bruce Willis — the connection is obvious. Plus he totally made those wine cooler commercials in the 80s. [Observer]

Since the Disney Teen Idol Factory's Miley Cyrus model has developed a "slutty photos" malfunction, the company is ramping up the marketing on its male prototypes, The Jonas Brothers. Like Cyrus, the band has sold millions of albums but you probably can't name a single one of their songs unless you spend a lot of time around 12 year-old girls. According to The New York Times, the trio features none of Cyrus's dangerous hints of a sex drive.

Billy Ray Cyrus, virtue-hoarding father and achy-breaky-svengali to cultural tween phenomenon Miley Cyrus, appeared on The Today Show this morning, where for the first time he was made to address the now-infamous Virgin Miley study that recently graced the pages of Vanity Fair. An unwavering Meredith Vieira was determined to figure out where he was as photographer Annie Leibovitz crouched beneath a lighting umbrella, pressing two index fingers to her lips as she spitballed aloud, "For the next one, maybe lose the clothes, clutch that sheet to your chest, and give me your best 'Got Milk?' face."

According to Walt Disney Co.'s new designated TEEN SENSATION Demi Lovato, "Disney... artists aren't as manufactured as they appear." In other words, they are only partially manufactured, which means Disney can't create a 15-year-old completely devoid of sex hormones to replace Miley Cyrus, whose Disney Channel ratings plunged after she posed sorta-topless in Vanity Fair and in her underwear for her boyfriend in pictures that leaked online. While Lovato is, unfortunately for Disney shareholders, no robot, she promised to remember to always ask, "'Is this something a 15-year-old should be doing?' and if it isn't, then I don't do it." How wholesome! A 15-year who will keep the intimate details of her life off of MySpace... Are you sure she's not a robot? Disney is a little defensive, according to the Wall Street Journal:

According to one editor of a celebrity weekly, it's the "last trip to the buffet table," as Britney Spears' gurney-bound trip to the hospital signaled the end of dish. If that seems a bit ominous, it may be because there is a discernible lull in glossy-packaged brain candy. "There's nothing going on in celebrity land. There's no news, no gossip, no scandal," whined a TV producer to Liz Smith a few months back. "The Oscars showed how dull things are. People are only interested in politics." It's true. Reliable pop tarts no longer yield Google results like they once did (at left, Paris Hilton's trend chart, which shows a baseline traffic drop of about two-thirds). Here are a handful of theories about what's happened:

• Victoria Gotti didn't realize she was getting a $70,000 memoir advance to dish dirt on her mobster dad John. Or maybe she did, but she never thought HarperCollins would have the stones to demand it back. [Post]

Really, the Wall Street Journal should not toy so shamelessly with the many people who subscribe to the business newspaper, are avid fans of country teen sensation Miley Cyrus and own Wal-Mart stock. Sobs will no doubt be heard at trading desks and in executive suites throughout the morning. [WSJ]

[Photo Credit: X17]

At this point, seeing photos of 15-year old Miley Cyrus posing topless or seductively baring her taut tummy for rumored paramour Nick Jonas is the very definition of old news. But when it comes to the tween millionaire appearing in photos actually kissing a boy (or, gasp, a girl!) in public, these photos would likely tighten a few paparazzo's trousers. As the LA Times reports today, pictures of Miley's "first kiss" could potentially earn one lucky photographer anywhere between $30k to $150k. And we are officially confused. Why? Well, we happen to have more than a few pictures of Miley making out with all kinds of suitors, starting back when she was 14. So where's our cash? After the jump, see how the magic of Google can instantly debunk all the heated speculation on when Miley will have her first kiss, and when, oh when, will we get to see them. The time is now, Defamer readers:

Having barely recovered from the aneurysm-inducing shock of seeing America's Multi-Platform 3D Tween Sweetheart Miley Cyrus splayed nakedly across the pages of Vanity Fair—wet hair, Kool-Aid lips, and a look of seductive defiance that practically dares the observer to prove their stamina—emerges yet two more photos of a similarly suggestive, naked, and seemingly wanting-it-bad vein. In this suite—rumored to have been clearly marked "For Nick Jonas's Eyes Only," a restriction that went virtually ignored by the boundary-oblivious MySpace community—Cyrus gnaws hungrily on her own T-shirt. The intention? Clearly to drive its intended boy-band-member recipient, widely rumored to be a rabid garment-consumption fetishist, wild with desire.

• OMG smoking gun: Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are hugging and holding hands and putting their faces close together and everything! It's nearly almost practically lesbian kissing, and thus proof that they are girlfriends in that way. [Egotastic] (Photo via Egotastic)

• An LA band called Lustra called out Miley Cyrus by name for a song that sounds way, way too much like one of their songs. But it turns out Cyrus doesn't write any of her own songs, so now the band kind of looks like a bunch of assholes. [P6]

Though celebrities dropping trou for the glossies has proven both controversial in Miley Cyrus' case, and "artsy" in Lindsay Lohan's, both of these spreads were intelligently shot behind closed doors. But when GQ decided to photograph Entourage's Emmanuelle Chirqui fully exposing her curves in the bright light of day, controversy didn't come by way of conservative media pundits. It arrived in the form of the LAPD's official nudity-watch squad, who interrupted the shoot to get a closer look make sure all was okay on set. As Chirqui recalls, one pervy fed stepped in as art director and instructed the crew "Could you make sure that her areolas aren't showing?" See what all the fuss was about for yourself after the jump:

Hey, remember Miley Cyrus, the sultry teen temptress in Vanity Fair? It turns out she's actually a chaste little girl completely lacking in demon sex hormones! She can still help Disney make hundreds of millions of dollars from young girls, yay. The Hannah Montana star is featured in some new ads where she drinks milk like a baby. She's very excited about her part in the "Got Milk" campaign and is plugging away on one of her official websites. Miley, you can't just jump between sex icon and infantile little girl so quickly like this. Pick an image. You're flitting around like some kind of god-damned 15 year old or something. [E!, Body By Milk]

As we've been noting throughout Gwyneth Paltrow's incredibly successful campaign to rack up attention during her Iron Man press tour, her wardrobe has been just this side of trampy. In the last few weeks, transparent dresses (but they're designer!), S&M shoes (eccentric!), and clavicle accented jumpsuits have all been pulled out of the twice-retired actress' bag of tricks. But now that we've seen just what lies inside the June issue of British GQ, we think this sexy train has reached its final destination. Yes, Gwyneth has dropped trou, but listening to her tell it, it's just not that big of a deal, okay?

[Photo Credit: X17]

Singer Beyoncé's fashion collection, House of Deréon, is pushing a new kids line, for which it created the ad pictured at left. The reviews are rolling in, and they go a little something like this: "I don't know about you, but the words 'fuck me pumps' and 'pre-schoolers' do not need to go together in the same sentence." Taking racy pictures of underaged girls seems to be the fashion of the moment. Beyoncé is just staying on the cutting edge! But at least Miley Cyrus had a track record of sexual photos before her controversial Vanity Fair shoot; these girls are, what, five or six? And, more importantly, however will Annie Leibovitz take edgy pictures of them when they reach the next break in the celebrity pipeline if they've already been dressing like this for ten years? Larger photo of the ad after the jump.