Michael Roberts (pictured, probably pointing to something refined and beautiful) was the fashion and style director on Vanity Fair's creepy Miley Cyrus shoot. And instead of letting the fiasco die out quietly, he spoke out to WWD to reveal the real reason behind the outcry: sour grapes, and a bunch of American clods with an insufficient sense of sophistication! Europeans aren't like that, he'll have you know:

Today's absurd scandal about Miley Cyrus' topless photo shoot for Vanity Fair apparently broke too late to make it into Jon Stewart's Daily Show (as with the Eliot Spitzer hooker scandal last month), but Stephen Colbert's later broadcast of sibling satire show Colbert Report did manage to have some fun with the 15-year-old pop star's predicament. Colbert's jokey jabs at VF photographer Annie Leibovitz don't cut too deeply into the heart of the scandal, but the late-night comedian gets points for fast turnaround. Video after the jump.

Vanity Fair has done it again. In their upcoming issue, famed photographer Annie Leibovitz shot a controversial photo spread featuring Billion Dollar Girl Miley Cyrus, prompting public outrage from the Christian Coalition, Disney and, naturally, the ladies of The View. Leibovitz and VF are being accused of crossing the line between art and pedophilia by shooting Cyrus in what some are calling "topless" photos (shown after the jump). Before the issue has even hit newsstands, Miley has apologized to her fans and Disney, concerned that the spread could affect the Hannah Montana cash cow. But this isn't the first time VF has hired one of their star photographers to use her lens in an effort to reinvent the images of underage starlets by featuring them in a slightly more provocative and mature light...

As loud as the uproar over Miley Cyrus' too-racy photo shoot gets, she of course is not the first young star to be packaged as a sly sex symbol. The American print media, and its advertisers, have a history of getting into trouble for this sort of thing. The two common methods are to either portray an underage girl (or, less often, boy) in an overly sexualized light, or to use "barely legal" girls in a way that evokes underage taboos with a wink and a nod. It's really a standard form, at this point. After the jump, we've compiled some of the most famous ad campaigns and media spreads that play the slick jailbait game. Does this stuff work? Apparently so.

Annie Leibovitz: come off it. Really now. As dirty as the media business is—and particularly the celebrity media business, which Vanity Fair revels in under a sheen of high class pretension—there are some bare, bottom-level standards to which we all must adhere. One of those is, "Do not sexually exploit minors." You want to economically exploit a minor? Fine. That's a grand American tradition. But trotting out 15 year-old Miley Cyrus with pouty lips, tousled hair, and only a bedsheet is just bad. Bad! Of course Vanity Fair bears the responsibility for publishing it. But the idea for the shoot can be traced to the tired celeb photographer Leibovitz (who is sorry it's been "misinterpreted"). And her narrow, robotically transgressive act has now played itself out. This incident, and Leibovitz's entire style, is less shocking than it is boring—but with a 15-year-old involved, it's boring and creepy.

For years, people have wondered what it would take for the public finally to lose interest in that tediously troubled singer, Britney Spears. And now we have an answer: an even younger starlet, 15-year-old Miley Cyrus, who has so much more innocence yet to squander. Even before "artistic" semi-naked photos of the Hannah Montana actress hit the web, her name was more often searched on Google than Britney's.

Well that was quick. It looks like you can no longer access Vanity Fair's behind-the-scenes slideshow of Miley Cyrus pictures. We have a selection of the vaguely creepy shots in our earlier post. Now the link on the magazine's website goes to a landing page for the feature story on the young star, but when you attempt to click through to the slideshow, an error message appears. A tacit admission of guilt, or just, ahem, a technical issue? We've emailed VF for comment, and we'll let you know what we hear. [UPDATE: The slideshow is back!]

There's a technique called "grooming" that pedophiles use on their victims (yes, we just learned about it today, thank you). One definition says "Grooming behavior is intended to make the victim or potential victim or victim's guardians feel comfortable with the molester and even interested in interacting with him." And here's a characteristic of a regressed child molester: "They place pseudo-adult status on their victims and then view them as they would their peers." Now take a look at the following behind-the-scenes pictures from Vanity Fair's controversial new Miley Cyrus photo shoot by 58-year-old lesbian photographer Annie Leibovitz and ask yourself if any of that rings a bell. We're not accusing these stylists of being pedophiles, we're just saying... ugh:

Miley Cyrus apologized to America yesterday for appearing in a Vanity Fair photo spread, her torso wrapped only in what appeared to be a bedsheet, her hair tousled, her lips painted bright red. Viewers of her Hannah Montana are mostly aged 6-14, and their parents worry this is just another attempt to sexualize their young kids. It's true there was something unseemly about the whole thing, in particular Vanity Fair gloating in its Cyrus profile that "the topless but demure portrait accompanying this article could be seen as another baby step, as it were, toward a more mature profile" and asking, in a caption, "Um, was Cyrus-or Disney-at all anxious about this shot?" But there's also something absurd about the outraged reaction to the whole thing, including allegations of exploitation by Disney and a parenting website suggesting readers burn Hannah Montana products in a bonfire.

Hannah Montana has a seven-figure book deal and you don't.

· Intrepid Defamer Videographer™ Molly McAleer watches a LOT of TV during the course of her day. Unfortunately, she sees a lot of funny moments that, for one reason or another, we don't get around to covering. She found herself with a few spare minutes this weekend and cut together this outtake reel of hilarious moments that we didn't manage to feature last week (save for KTLA's Jessica Holmes; her act is worth a second look). With that intro, please enjoy this feature that we haven't quite gotten around to naming yet. Enjoy and, if you have any suggestions for what we should call this, leave your suggestions in the comments! [Molls She Wrote]
· Proving that that they aren't going to let a little thing like a self-imposed "family hour" get in the way of making a buck (particularly after GE's atrocious first quarter earnings), it's NBC's officially licensed "MILF Island" t-shirt. [NBC.com]
· Nobody has more fun than Miley Cyrus. Nobody. [YouTube]
· Noted political heavyweight Brody Jenner has just released his official presidential endorsement. The resident beefcake of The Hills is voting for ... wait for it ... Obama! If you're wondering why, the answer is simple: "He's just cool!" Word. [Us Magazine]
· And just when you thought things were going bad for the State of California comes this news: California in for a devastating quake within 30 years. [SF Gate]

If you're planning on going out and getting bombed tonight, it's best to do so on a full stomach. Enter Dirt Sandwich, carefully crafted by Defamer's Top Chef, Molly McAleer. Each week, she grazes through the rich pasture of tabloid television for the juiciest ingredients and then stacks them all together into an easily digestible sammy, one that's guaranteed to soak up all the booze you'll be pouring down your gullet this evening. This week's Dirt Sandwich features Robin Williams' appearance at Idol Gives Back (not showing any sign of his personal troubles!), the first interview Denise Richards has ever given in her bathroom (an E! News exclusive!), Jamie Lynn Spears' romantic birthday dinner at a Louisiana Ruby Tuesdays (say what you will, but their Double Chocolate Cake is KILLER) and, of course, Rob Lowe's allegations that his nanny was set to blackmail him with "a vicious laundry list of false terribles" (which, btw, became word of the week at Defamer HQ). Enjoy, kids ... False Terribles!

Miley: In three years, all that money is going to be mine and I'm going to get this rad house in Los Feliz and I'm gonna have Lindsay Lohan be my maid. There's going to be sick parties 24/7.

An over-caffeinated Miley Cyrus showed the throng of photographers that follow her every move some new and interesting dance moves that she recently learned from some videos she saw on YouTube. Cyrus told the photogs that she hopes to incorporate these moves into her next tour, which just might launch at Jumbo's Clown Room.

· Most Powerful Tween on the Planet Miley Cyrus manages to finagle her way out her billion-year Disney contract for one magical evening, headlining their blood rival Nickelodeon's Kids' Choice Awards. Still, she must return to Cinderella's Castle* in Anaheim by midnight, or her career will be turned into "a fucking Debbie Gibson state-fair-touring pumpkin, mark my words," said her fairy Bob Iger-mother. [Variety]
· Tobey Maguire is attached to produce Afterburn, an adaptation of a futuristic comic about treasure hunters who venture into the half of the planet scorched by a solar flare to retrieve valuable surviving artifacts, like the Venus de Milo and Cher. [Variety]
· After the story about the kid who lived at his parents' house who sold his first script to Ridley Scott for $650,000 vs. $1.1 million with Leo D. attached to star, we thought God had doled out all the screenwriter miracles for the month. Wrong! "A Staten Island tollbooth worker in desperate need of a car wrote a crime thriller spec titled Brooklyn's Finest last year. Now he finds himself rubbing shoulders with some of Hollywood's finest, including Richard Gere, Don Cheadle, Ethan Hawke and Antoine Fuqua." Why do we get a feeling the next time our mom calls us at work, it'll be to tell us she just sold her first spec to Sony "for mid-sixes?" [THR]

Miley Cyrus, who plays (is? What?) Hannah Montana, is harming children. No, not with her music! (But, yes with her music.) She's actually hurting them through her branded toys and accessories, which, like every other fun thing in the world, are becoming increasingly deadly. You see, various items in the Hannah Montana line of products, specifically those with vinyl in them, were found by the Center for Environmental Health to contain high levels of lead. (Though, really what item meant for children doesn't, these days.) The CEH called it a "poison plastic," deftly summing up every celebrity currently idolized by the tweenagers. So parents! That Hannah Montana purse or knapsack or full-body fetish suit that your ten-year-old child has should not be ingested or touched or anything. Oh, and while you're at it, please tell her (or him) to stop licking that Zac Efron doll. Because, you know. [CNNMoney via OhNoTheyDidn't] If the lead poisoning has not yet killed your child, the video after the jump just might do the trick.

After hearing that Billion Dollar Girl Miley Cyrus has added yet another name to her list of identities, we had to wonder how all this name-changing business is supposed to help an already-famous star's career. Cyrus, who was given the flashy title Destiny Hope Cyrus at birth, was nicknamed Smiley Miley as a kid by her achy breaky dad Billy and, guess what, it stuck. Now, AOL is reporting that Cyrus has officially changed her name to Miley Ray Cyrus, just like dad Billy Ray. But how have the most memorable mid-career name games fared when it comes to a celebrity's career? We took a look at a few of the most famous quick switches, and discovered it takes more than a flashy press announcement (and even a flashy new symbol) to inject a falling star with newfound fame...

Dude, she's 15. Leave it alone and holler at somebody more age appropriate. What a creep.

Break out your varsity jackets and teasing combs, because Beverly Hills: 90210 is getting a B12 shot in the ass. As THR reports this morning, the beloved fictional halls of West Beverly will be refurbished and re-populated with a brand new spinoff on the CW. Though a pilot has yet to be written by Veronica Mars producer Rob Thomas, and the tweeny network has yet to sign any papers, we'd like to prevent Aaron Spelling from rolling over in his grave by offering our own suggestions for who should play the new versions of Brenda, Brandon and their rotating group of bed buddies. Although we kinda doubt a marching band dusted with school spirit could help our Donna Martin graduate...

While we certainly hope that the ladies of The View are ladylike when it comes to using the ladies' rooms at other lady celebrities' houses [Ed. Note - That's a lot of ladies!], the same can't be said for the men who man Barbara Walters' camera crew. In this clip, Walters politely told the story of how her visit to Casa Cyrus for her (barely watched) Oscar special turned into a literal shitshow, with toilets overflowing and Miley's "very nicely attractive mother" Tish bitterly hissing under her breath that she didn't mind one bit. But the icing on the shitcake is the way in which the Cyrus clan says "Thanks For Visiting, Come Again Soon!", which, in a surprising twist, does not come in the form of a Hallmark card, but rather an engraved tchotchke in the shape of a golden toilet.