Since likely presidential candidate Willard "Mitt" Romney is going to be the next Barack Obama, he needs to dress in a way that shows his unbreakable bond with America's youth culture. He's realizing that the blue blazer and slacks look might incorrectly pigeonhole him as a "square." But what to wear?

Why are Republicans having such a hard time finding a decent presidential candidate to crush all the others? It shouldn't be that hard. You only need one, and it's a country of 309 million people. The sitting president is vulnerable, too. That's an incentive to pluck some generic governor who doesn't say insane things all the time! And yet we still have this weak GOP field, where so many candidates have major flaws and aren't really loved by anyone, especially their mothers.

Mitt Romney wants to be president so badly, but he just can't get anyone to elect him. Don't laugh, okay? He must struggle to get out of bed each and every morning knowing that he'll have to spend the entire day being Mitt Romney, the shiny plastic humanoid who'll never figure out what Republican voters want.

Fred Karger is a retired Republican operative who's pulled off some nasty hatchet jobs in presidential elections past. Now he's a gay activist and running for president himself, pretty much just to harass Mitt Romney in televised debates.

Mitt Romney, a piece of plastic who's likely running for president again, went on The View today to talk about campaign strategy. He said his problem during 2008's campaign was that he "answered every question." Points for not laughing, Whoopi.

The Marriott International hotel group won't offer porn on its room TVs in any of its new hotels. Not only that, it's phasing out porn across the entire chain over the next few years. And it's all Mitt Romney's fault.

By this time in the last presidential cycles, 14 candidates had declared their presidential runs. But this year, even though there's only one party with a primary field, zero have declared. What gives? The Internet demands entertainment!

Four Republicans have emerged as the clear early (err, very early) frontrunners in the 2012 Republican presidential primary, according to a recently concluded series of Public Policy Polling (D) surveys. The favorite of the bunch? Not so clear.

Sarah Palin has done wonders for Republican fundraising and enthusiasm in this low-turnout, base-determined midterm election. She's helpful, now, so the party won't dare criticize her. But that'll end! Because party leaders don't want her anywhere near their presidential nomination.

No human being would ever consider reading Mitt Romney's recent book No Apology: The Case for American Greatness, much less paying for it. So how did it top the NYT bestseller list? With some ol' Romney magic, of course.

Very likely 2012 presidential candidate Mitt Romney will quit using "Mitt.ly" as a URL shortener, after learning that the evil Libyan government controls the ".ly" domain. Now he'll use "Mi.tt," registered to tropical freedom land Trinidad and Tobago. [Image: AP]

In some ways she is! Lady knows how to open a movie, we'll give her that. She reigned supreme in an otherwise lackluster post-holiday weekend, mostly while we wait for the true fall releases (The Town, Friday) to enterain us.

Mitt Romney, who sleeps in a blue blazer, red power-tie and khaki slacks, drove his ol' pickup truck to a New Hampshire fundraiser yesterday. Will this "proletarian-car" populist approach help him, as it did Sen. Scott Brown? Unlikely.

The 2012 election season, while allegedly two years out, is underway! (Ugh.) So get used to more of the silliness we witnessed today: some anonymous Palin and Romney aides "sparred" and Romney himself had to cool things down, on Twitter.

Mitt Romney needs headlines. It's been so long! And what's more eye-catching than calling a nuclear reduction treaty that the Obama administration negotiated with Russia his "worst foreign policy mistake yet"? Wow! What's the problem, Mitt Romney?

The frontrunner for the 2008 GOP Presidential candidacy has added his voice to those gently pointing out, in the wake of about 24 minor scandals, that the party chairman is an awkward blend of clown and muppet. [HuffPo]

A new study about sexual habits and a memoir continue the nation's obsession with the former Commanding Member-in-Chief. It caused one of the great national scandals of our day, but it is time to give the old boy a rest.

Tonight on Real Time, Bill Maher took Mitt Romney to task for being a "pandering shape-shifter." The real laughs came, though, when Maher unveiled a few modified versions of Romney's new book, No Apology. Video inside. Also: New Rules!

On Jay Leno's first night back to Tonight Show hosting duties, he stole two jokes for his monologue. One from Mitt Romney(!?), and another from an ESPN Page 2 sports writer. Proof inside.

Who was it that attacked Mitt Romney on a plane earlier this week? It was rapper Sky Blu, from the group LMFAO. So our first guess was right. [TMZ] UPDATE: Sky Blu's video explanation, below.