"I got into doing gang bangs in 2008," says Shirley, 78, in the NSFW clip above. "I've done 14 of 'em since then. Each one is better than the last one." She then opens her shirt to reveal a tattoo on her breast (that's the real NSFW part of the video). I'm not going to tell you what it says because I want you to experience the joy of discovery.

Mansome, the latest documentary from Super Size Me director Morgan Spurlock, seeks to answer the question of what it means to be a man "in a world where the definition of masculinity has become as diverse as a hipster's facial hair in Williamsburg."

In POM Wonderful Presents: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold, director Morgan Spurlock (Super Size Me, Where in the World Is Osama Bin Laden?) exposes the shady practice of product placement... by documenting his efforts to make a movie funded entirely by product placement. Got that? It's a plate-spinning act that actually works, offering a sly and entertaining glimpse into the strange landscape of 21st Century advertising.

For $25,000, Altoona, Pennsylvania, is changing its name to "Pom Wonderful" for 60 days later this month as part of the marketing campaign for Morgan Spurlock's new documentary Pom Wonderful Presents the Greatest Story Ever Sold, which is about the incessant creep of product placement, none of which makes any sense.

Morgan Spurlock is at it again. This time he set out to create a documentary based purely on advertising and product placement in The Greatest Movie Ever Sold. A film where everything is branded, beginning to end- with ads.

It's true. He did it. Or he will do it. Also today: a nerd documentary to end all nerd documentaries, Scream 4 will feature a vampire, a link to a picture, and a Peter Scolari joke.

Even though The Simpsons haven't been culturally relevant for over a decade, it's always great to put the show in perspective by looking at its origins, its inspirations, and its eventual malaise. Tonight's special did just that.

It's the 20th Anniversary of "The Simpsons" this year! Fox reminded us of this tonight with a 1 1/2 hour "Simpsons" spectacular, including an hour-long documentary by Morgan Spurlock. Here are celebrities talking about their favorite characters.

Ethan Hawke turns 39 today. Mike Nichols, the film director and husband of Diane Sawyer, is turning 78. Gossip Girl's Kelly Rutherford is 41. The First Lady of California, Maria Shriver, is 54. Sally Field is turning 62. Writer Michael Cunningham is 57. Rebecca Romijn (formerly Rebecca Romijn-Stamos) turns 37 today. Thandie Newton is turning 37. Taryn Manning is 31. Actress Emma Stone is 21. TV host Catherine Crier is turning 55. Former Manhattan Borough President Ruth Messinger is turning 69. Joe Wilson, the former diplomat and husband of Valerie Plame, is 60 And Lamar Odom, the NBA star and poor soul now married to Khloe Kardashian, is 30. A few weekend birthdays after the jump.

• Why did Janice Min leave Us? It was about money, reports WWD, which explains that given the economy, Jann Wenner wasn't prepared to offer her the $2 million a year she's been collecting. Min is denying it. [WWD, NYDN]
• Dan Rather’s $70 million lawsuit against CBS is back on track. [NYT, WSJ]
• McKinsey has been retained by Condé Nast to do the sort of "rethinking" and "realigning" that the consulting firm gets paid enormous sums to do. And while it isn't the first time McKinsey has been in the building—they were hired by Condé in 2001—this time employees are totally freaking out. [NYO]
• One title that is doing well: Food Network Magazine, apparently. [CNY]
• ESPN's Erin Andrews was secretly videotaped in the nude while staying at a hotel. Now an ESPN employee is said to have been behind it. [NYDN, AP]

Page Six gossip Paula Froelich's first novel is concerned with a certain set of New York ladies in crisis, Mercury in Retrograde (she may be among them, as a "composite"). So surely other "composites" were in attendance at her book party last night.

The Tribeca Film Festival opened last night with the premiere of Whatever Works, Woody Allen's latest production, which stars Larry David, Patricia Clarkson, and Evan Rachel Wood (left). In attendance at the Ziegfeld and afterparty at the Royalton: The writer/director accompanied by child bride Soon-Yi Previn, along with Debra Messing, Harvey Keitel, Robert De Niro and Grace Hightower, Mary Kate Olsen, Uma Thurman, Cheryl Hines, Harvey Keitel and Daphna Kastner, Brian and Jane Williams, Charlie Rose, Morgan Spurlock, Charlie Rose, Craig Hatkoff and Jane Rosenthal, Jonathan and Lizzie Tisch, Les Moonves and his daughter, Melissa Leo, Morgan Spurlock, and Todd Haynes. A few photos after the jump. [NYO, VF, Wireimage, PMC]

Filmmaker Morgan Spurlock is 38 today. Joni Mitchell is 65. Reverend Billy Graham is 90. General David Petraeus is turning 56. Former Brady Bunch star Christopher Knight turns 51. Lost star Yunjin Kim is 35. Interior designer John Barman is 59. And twin actors Jeremy and Jason London are 36. Weekend birthdays after the jump.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by the loyal readers of Defamer. We'd like to remind you that this feature is powered by you, so if you want to see more installments of PrivacyWatch, then all you've got to do is to send us your sightings. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Britney Spears huffing smokes while eating poolside chicken fingers.

Just in time for Super Size Me director Morgan Spurlock's new movie, a Wall Street analyst is getting closer to the fast-food companies he tracks by eating only "quick-service" food for all of April. It's halfway through the month; how's he doing? The answer won't be surprising to those who remember how long the founders of Popeyes, Carl's Jr. and Fatburger lived:

There's plenty of studio hand-wringing and noose-tying to go around as movies about the Iraq War yield one box-office bomb after another. But a feature in this week's Village Voice reveals a new strategy for getting over those wartime blahs and rolling back into the black: Make 'em laugh! Not that the heirs to Dr. Strangelove or M*A*S*H are any new breed, of course, but if we can't cash in on grave exposes of torture and failed diplomacy (not to mention Ryan Phillippe's abs), we may as well have fun with them, say filmmakers like Morgan Spurlock:

The people who, despite claims to the contrary, are currently not actually looking for terrorist mastermind Osama bin Laden now include Pakistan President Pervez Musharraf and documentarian Morgan Spurlock. Musharraf is just sick of looking. Spurlock gave up once he had enough material to create Sundance buzz around his new movie, Where in the World Is Osama Bin Laden? Spurlock went to Pakistan to find bin Laden but turned back after reaching "a sign at the border of Pakistan's hostile tribal areas warning of the strict prohibition against foreigners in their lands." Turns out it's harder than you thought, Hamburger boy! Someone owes the president an apology. [NYT]

• A milestone in the struggle for equality: TV networks cover a missing black and Hispanic woman the same way they usually cover missing white women. Someplace, Dr. King is smiling. [USAT]
• Surprised to learn in the Post a few days ago that Osama planned to poison our cocaine? Yeah, so was the DEA. [NYDN]
• Morgan Spurlock is coming to Comedy Central, continuing his effort to become more ubiquitous than McDonald's but not nearly as delicious. [Mediaweek]
• Interestingly, in-flight mags are not the best place for subversive political satire. Who knew? [Folio:]
• At new Bloomberg LP headquarters, Charlie Rose guests are insufficiently from the hoi-polloi reporters. The horror. [WWD]
• Bob Woodward's The Secret Man is, maybe, a very poorly selling best-seller. [Media Mob]