For a show that shocks-and-awe's every episode, Warren the Ape truly outdid itself last night. Warren "scares straight" a class of junior high kids by kidnapping them and taking them to a strip club, drug-filled alley, and a dog-fighting ring.

With The Hills airing its final season, rumors are swirling that the show's NYC cousin, The City, has been canceled. Is this the end of the Whitney Port/Olivia Palermo vehicle? We've contacted MTV for comment and are awaiting a response.

From his MTV special Better than Ever, Drake hardly seems better-than-ever as he talks candidly about the difficulties of life on the road and the reason why his mother is the only person who he believes loves him unconditionally.

We were too busy breathing in the fresh scent of post-rainstorm New York to watch The City last night. Luckily, fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was there to clue us in on all the trashy cat fights.

RJ auditions for the school play—a West Side Story-meets-Twilight mash-up—to get closer to Jenny. RJ is known to have a giant ...muscle, and during the climactic kiss his beastly member unleashes upon the audience. Hilarious humiliation after link.

One of MTV's favorite guidettes, Sammi Giancola, won't face charges for punching a girl in a Miami club. Prosecutors said they don't go after perps once they have left the county. Finally, someone is safe after fleeing to New Jersey.

We were too busy eating Mexican food last night to watch The City. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern is around to give us all the dirt, and eat our left-over chimichanga.

Confrontation was the name of the game tonight on the Hills. People got dumped, girls got all up in each others' grills and Brody Jenner continued to be lame. One highlight: someone unironically called Ryan Cabrera a rocker. HA!

Warren the Ape, beloved character from the short-lived Greg the Bunny series, transformed into a leading man when his new series debuted. The show is so entertaining that you'll forget that you're watching the same network that airs Jersey Shore.

On last night's episode of Hard Times of RJ Berger, RJ followed in the footsteps of his nerd-teen-TV-movie-character ancestors by running for President of Student Gov. in hopes of dethroning reigning popular-pretty-jock-face-dude.

When people complain about technology ruining our culture (TV making us illiterate, the internet shortening attention spans) their fears are generally misplaced. Until now. MTV is hunting for its new version of the VJ, the TJ or Twitter Jockey.

We figured DJ Paulie Disco would be the first of MTV's guidos to land a recording contract, but TMZ got their hands on a snippet of The Situation's single. It's sort of like a Snooki punch to your eardrums.

Landon employed the "head to butt move" seen in this video to help he and Carley ass-push themselves to victory in the final challenge. Hey, for 200k, this could've gotten a lot dirtier.

We were too busy eating gelato last night to actually watch The City. However our fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was on the prowl and will bring you all the dirt on her newest nemesis Louise Roe.

While MTV encouraged its celebrity guests to swear up a storm on stage, it was clear that the censor guys behind the scenes weren't as ready to bleep. Mediaite put together all of swears that made it on the air.

Don't confuse this edition of Real World: New Orleans with it's predecessor from ten years ago. This booze-filled season of MTV's pioneer reality show looks like MTV's Spring Break combined with an episode of Intervention. Watch and judge for yourself.

Fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern called this morning and said she couldn't write about The City. Something to do with prostitution charges and Tom Arnold. Anyway, you're stuck with me, and I actually had to watch the show.

Looks like Olivia Palermo might be out of a job! After seriously pissing off her bosses at an Elle-sponsored event, Olivia's position seems a little shaky; especially after Erin Kaplan is seen interviewing a new girl!

Help. Quick. Someone alert the authorities, because there is clearly something in Los Angeles' water supply that makes people constantly exercise bad judgment. Thanks to Brody and Kristin, tonight's episode of The Hills was concrete evidence to support this claim.