It's bad enough when someone hands you a water bottle to open and you fail to perform the seemingly simple task.

According to a Swedish study, men who were weak as teenagers are more likely to die prematurely. The study, which tracked roughly a million men over a period of 24 years, found that men who, as teenagers, had stronger leg and arm muscles (and a stronger grip) had a 20-35% lower risk of early death from any cause.

Celebrating Oktoberfest? Ashamed of your scrawny calves? Meet Wundersock, the patented rubber foam insert for knee-sock-wearing for men. Lederhosen store owner Herbert Lipah invented the "wonderbra for men." He exports Wundersock supplies to Scotland and Namibia. (Apparently Namibians are really into Oktoberfest. Something about colonialism.) Lipah says his store's wares are very popular with "gays, tourists."

Drop and give me 20! No? Well, drop and give me ten. Or five. At least try. Yes, have some water. It's your special Army edition of Fitness Watch, where we watch your fitness—with empathy and understanding!

A study of Australian teenagers found that muscular male models generated more or less the same response as "men of more average dimensions." Luckily, the Situation has a great personality to fall back on. [SMH; pic via Bauer-Griffin]

Can strong core muscle workouts and avoiding bad stew give you plump lips, a killer imperialist warrior spirit, and a victory over Manny Pacquiao? These and other important issues are explored in today's Fitness Watch—we're watching fitness, downward doggedly!

Bigger, Stronger, Faster , the just-released documentary that reconsiders the terrible public image of steroids, is winning praise for its frank depiction of the pluses and minuses of 'roids. But all the honesty didn't turn out well for Christian Boeving, a fitness model who lost his endorsement contract with Muscletech when it became clear that he admitted longtime steroid use in an interview in the film. "I didn't think I would get into that much trouble, because I thought it was pretty apparent that the top people in the industry use steroids to look like we do," Boeving said. But he admitted it, so he's out. Yes, the entire muscle industry is made up of hypocrites. You'd have thought that some of Boeving's pictures, like these, might have given his totally innocent sponsors a clue:

Remember when A.C. Slater used to strut around The Max in his orange short shorts and sweat-drenched wrestling muscle tees? All while dousing the rest of the cast with the greasy goo dangling from his curly mullet? And how much it kinda grossed you out to the point where you decided from then on you would never, under any circumstances, be attracted to dimpled, mullet-wearing wrestlers? Well, Defamer would like to officially announce that things have changed. Mario Lopez is no longer a bicycle-pants wearing meathead, he's a bonafide contestant for Best Male Body In The Universe. And he's got a new workout book to prove it! But we decided to go ahead and compare the original AC to the new and improved Mario, just to clarify exactly how far he's come. The before and afters, in all their muscly glory, after the jump: