• Mr. Cheney goes to Menlo Park: The big Dick is raising money for the Republican Party in a reception at Sequoia Capital, just to prove that a neocon can get something out of Northern California. [KCBS]

Now that Universal Music Group threatened to sue MySpace (and YouTube) for helping people steal music, it's time to review MySpace's enemies. Above the company are those who directly threatened MySpace. Below are those MySpace directly threatened.

by Beth Gottfried

We're not sure if you watch Dateline's To Catch a Predator — the internet pedophile-busting series that has captivated a nation! — but last night, NBC vigilante Chris Hanson busted a few Georgian boys who thought they were about to tap some underage ass. No big deal, just another Wednesday night of taunting men until they actually commit suicide on air. (Don't miss the wonderful "my thang in your mouth" clip.)

• I'm just blown away by GroupHoop. It's dynamically aggregating...my community...oh geez just click it. [GroupHoop]

A news site quotes News Corp COO Peter Chernin saying Flickr, YouTube, and all the other popular content-sharing sites from the last few years are just suckling at the MySpace teat.

• Tech reporter John C. Dvorak says hacker Kevin Mitnick should become chairman of Hewlett-Packard. Har har. That's the tech equivalent of "Christopher Walken for President." [Dvorak Uncensored]

Does Trent Lapinski's exposé about MySpace (digest version here) read like a conspiracy theory? Sure. Does our boss think it's over-outraged? Sure, but you can't trust him, he believes in the lone gunman and a real moon landing. Buy the anger or not, this guest feature story is a great read for those of us who are goddamn sick of Tom, Tom, Tom.

• Hewlett-Packard's pretexting scandal: Today, the board should announce whether it will ask chairwoman Patricia Dunn to resign. [HPQ on Google Finance]

You might remember MySpace self-branding slattern Christine Dolce's (a.k.a. ForBiddeN's) quest to get back on the cover of this month's Playboy. Didn't happen, and apparently all is now ForGiveN — at least between her and the porn mag. Seems Dolce has angered one of her stable of tech-nerds. Specifically, one Ashley Michaud, "Web Designer for the Stars," who claims the habitually orange-skinned breast implant display system didn't add him as a "Top 8 friend" after Michaud rendered his Flash programming services. Apparently the chief objection from Dolce's manager was that Michaud's MySpace photo is "super geeky" and "makes Christine look bad." After Michaud's company responded in the negatory to the photo change demand, "Forbidden's Manager then replied with inappropriate language offending the business owners." So what's the retaliation? No lawsuit, sadly — isn't the world ready for MySpace friend litigation by now? No, they're just disabling the Flash banners, which is the rough equivalent of the school brainiac refusing to finish the cheerleader's algebra homework when she won't make with the handjob. Not going to get you friended nor laid.

After News Corp. threatened to sue his publisher if they published his expos

Watch it quick before NBC gets it canned — a new Saturday Night Live sketch about MySpace teens and the creepy old men who love them.

We feel for Lamarr Watts. MySpace went and stole his idea for a magazine — get this — based on MySpace. The would-be entrepreneur tells us:

Is there anyone out there who hasn't been approached to work at Seventeen? We're hearing from a number of sources that Atoosa Rubenstein may have more friends on MySpace than she does in the workplace. One former staffer named the names:

• 2500 astronomers from 75 countries decide Pluto isn't a planet, but a dwarf planet. Copernicus has no comment. [CNN]
• 250,000 women from 1 country decide Michael Noer isn't a dick, but a COLOSSAL dick. Everyone continues to comment. [The American Prospect]
• Do The Killers need to be taken down a peg? Two new songs to help you decide. [stereogum]
• Speaking of killers, we present MyDeathSpace. [via bestweekever]
• This girl's taking a killing, but a finance intern in London acting a little snootay? Shocking! [TimesUK]
• Eliot Spitzer seems slightly less jovial than Tom Suozzi. [NYDN]
• Publicists and fashion bloggers congregate together. Ewwww. Watch from a safe distance. [youtube]

The Dude known as The Smith pointed out this rockin' MySpace Magazine cover he designed, in case the company goes through with its plans to print a mag. He even let us show it here. Of course, you should check out his full-size original.

Congrats, postliterate teens! AdAge says MySpace may launch a print magazine, and we found a leaked mockup of Issue #1!j

Breaking from AdAge:

Worrying words from the U.K.'s Daily Mail:

"Lookit who's got a MySpace page" stories are tired as hell, especially since most are fakes put up as "tributes" to the celeb in question. The only thing that distinguishes American Media editrix Bonnie Fuller's fake page is its origin as a stunt to get on the AMI reality show One Park Avenue. Ad Age reveals the perp in question to be one Shmuly Tennenhaus, a self-described "Hasidic Jew with a ton of chutzpa." In addition to the MySpace, Tennenhaus of course has an OPA-focused blog, though the latter seems to be a repository for net marketing punditry as much as anything. His chances for getting on the show don't look good so far, as you have to make it clear you're desperate without appearing desperate. A nice rack doesn't hurt, either.