As mentioned yesterday, the only big-name MySpacer you can trust is Seventeen editor Atoosa Rubenstein. Her profile is authentic, the real deal from the coolest girl at the lunch table. Atoosa also has a MySpace blog, and we'd like to apologize for not paying more attention to her collected works. Failing to spread the magic of the 'Toos is an inexcusable disservice to insecure, self-loathing adolescents everywhere. From her latest entry:

• Boy George's street sweeping causes a paparazzi car crash. Live the Lohan dream, buddy. [OAN]
• The MySpace profiles belonging to Bonnie Fuller, Anna Wintour, and Graydon Carter are fake. Duh, the only profile genuinely belonging to a media bigwig is Atoosa Rubenstein's. The 'Toos loves the 'Space. [AdAge]
• Spin increases its page size to 10x12, making that much more room for Fall Out Boy coverage. [Crain's]
• "Charm School" is a $1600 program that helps men who have trouble talking to ladies. It's kind of like the Pick-Up Artists in The Game, but for wusses. [Reuters]
• The art of gay cruising is not easily mastered. [Manhattan Offender]
• Speaking of Gays, Chelsea really is a modern-day Sodom and Gomorrah. It's just a pity politicians have to act like that's a bad thing. [Animal]
• It's somewhat inevitable that any conversation on bad subway etiquette will devolve into an anti-Chinese immigrant rant. [Gothamist (see comments)]
• A national women's magazine searches for a man to go on a blind date with a 29-year-old virgin. Who knew Jane was so cruel? [Craigslist]
• If publicist Stephen Huvane were representing a corporation rather than Jennifer Aniston, he'd be shot dead in the street. Actually, that could still happen. [Media Orchard]
• Of course the Post doesn't care about black people; the only exception is if the black person is a pimp and/or bouncer who murders a young white woman. [Blog NYC]
• The Stations of the Mel: Mel is condemned by the press. "Arrest me not," he telleth the centurion, "for I owneth Malibu. And thou lookest a bit Jewish unto me." [NYer]

Fox Interactive Media is primed to go public. There's no word yet on parent company News Corp's plans for FIM, but all its ducks are in a row:

There's a big world of work out in the Valley. We skimmed the cream off the top — and then threw it out so we could feed you these job listings.

There's an amazing story in today's Sun. Lynda Delaney of Brooklyn was arguing with Daniel Ilardi, her stepfather, and she threw a pair of scissors at him. As you do. Unfortunately for Lynda (and, more importantly, Daniel) the scissors hit the right ventricle of his heart, killing him. "As of last night," the paper reports, "upgraded charges were pending as officials considered the freakishly on-target throw."

Speaking of MySpace, an article in today's Financial Times notes a new research tool for media professionals trying to make sense of the digital age: their children. "Media executives," the paper reports, "are scrambling to understand a variety of new technologies and internet services that did not exist only a few years ago but are now rapidly remaking their industry." And it's not just harried moms asking their kids about ringtones in the car on the way to soccer practice.

If it's Monday, it's time for a Wall Street Journal trend piece on a trend several weeks past its expiration date. We're talking about those MySpace pages that are very very thinly veiled advertisements, but which still allow one to become "friends" with the product in question (such as the movie World Trade Center). Dead trend piece aside, the WSJ article nevertheless contains a raft of quotable gems, unflinchingly shared after the jump.

Kiss me, kill me, link me, flash me! Guest writer Peter Kazanjy explains why MySpace's new Flash tomfoolery makes YouTube just a little more fucked.

Rock on, YouTube! The flavor-of-the-month video site recently overtook MySpace as one of the top 10 visited Internet sites, according to Alexa. (For those who have never heard of Alexa: It's a ratings system based on a voluntarily installed toolbar mostly used by webmasters. Therefore it is TOTALLY REPRESENTATIVE OF THE POPULATION AT LARGE.)

If you paid $500 million for something, you'd fix it up, right? So why, when News Corp has owned MySpace for the better half of a year, is MySpace puking in the metaphorical toilet like Tom Anderson after a MySpace Miami party?

What do you mean, that's not news? Lilliputian and putatively homeless model Isobella Jade may be writing her memoir in the Apple Store, but she still has time to join the hottest new marketing trend: a video trailer for your book. Thrill to Isobella dashing about the streets of New York in heels and a little black dress, briefly disrobing, noshing a few choice selections from the Wendy's dollar menu, spilling coffee, and rendering a voiceover that could challenge any on Grey's Anatomy for sheer tedium. Totally sucks about her MySpace page, though.

Poor Rupert Murdoch and his social networking site can't get a break. MySpace is facing scads of issues today:

• Campbell Brown, you naughty girl! The Today show interim co-host flashes her inexplicable ankle tat — no idea what that's supposed to be, but she really should've gone for a fairy or a dolphin. [Animal]
• "Management thought it was very important that Dan Abrams hire someone he wouldn't try to fuck." [FishbowlNY]
• Remember Friendster? Vaguely, even? They've been awarded a patent for their search methods and may be awarded another in the near future. MySpace pretends to shake in its enormous boots. [WSJ]
• Scarlett Johansson is becoming increasingly suspect of touching human petri dish Wilmer Valderrama. [HWoW]
• Who doesn't want to see John Stossel get slapped? [iFilm]
• Fall asleep to the sounds of Brooklyn hipsters and enjoy your inevitable nightmares on Bedford street. [BrooklynRadio]
• Palm Beach Police Chief thinks naughty financier Jeffrey Epstein is getting off easy (ba dum dum). [The Blotter]

Don't let them get you to you, indeed. Blonde, bronzed, and impressively embosomed MySpace sex kitten branding phenom Christine Dolce, a.k.a. ForBiddeN, was most recently famous for hookin' up with Axe lech-stank to host some kind of online game via her page. (An Axe spokesbot intoned, "when you deliver 18- to 24-year-old guys content they want to engage with, they don't mind if it comes from a brand.") And why not — girlfriend has over 900,000 MySpace friends, each of whom is special in their own sweaty way. Due to her vast appeal to those with surplus sex drive/income, Dolce signed on for a Playboy pictorial, and her editor totally assured her she'd get the cover. Unfortunately, the editor was fired, and the furies of disappointment were loosed:

The game is over, and Friendster lost.

• Steve Case, anyone who owned stock, sorry about AOL/Time merger. [Reuters]
• MySpace founder Tom Anderson, 13-year-olds whose parents just don't understand them, sorry about MySpace power outage. [CNET]
• Dude who plagiarized from Office Pirates, anyone who reads Office Pirates, sorry about Office Pirates. [Office Pirates]

As of Monday afternoon, MySpace co-founder and poster boy Tom Anderson's previously secret profile is public. Sadly, this looks less like a juicy fluke (caused by this weekend's MySpace blackout) and more like an intended switch, because all of Tom's exciting pics and blog entries are hidden from view. At least now we can all see comments from his friends, including possible girlfriend Tiffany Chao. We can also see that Tom doesn't want kids — so that means the little man-slut is packing Trojans.

The Internet is behaving well this morning. So far:

Ah, what a lovely upside of California peaking its energy use and one of MySpace's L.A. servers blacking out: a clean MySpace page.

Multiple anonymous sources have reported that MySpace's co-founder and poster boy Tom Anderson ran a porn site on the side of his day job. He was fired, says one source, when the company caught him running his site while on the clock.