It could easily be argued that misunderstood ADD-survivor Britney Spears's romantic history is riddled with mistakes, beginning with her decision to marry and procreate with an ambition-challenged background dancer whose primary vocation was his pursuit of mastery over the art of one-handed joint rolling. But that was the scrambled, pre-Promises Britney; the new Britney, reports trusted supermarket news source The National Enquirer, has fallen for someone with only her best interests at heart: