The worst of Hurricane Sandy isn't supposed to hit the New York City region until after 4 p.m. today, but signs of flooding have already begun in some parts of the city. (And New Jersey.)

Buying an afro wig for a Studio 54 theme party thrown by your work is a totally reasonable thing to do. Less reasonable is buying an afro wig, wearing it to your theme party, and then continuing to wear it around New York City on a journey of self-discovery, during which you frequently take pictures with black people. Alas, that's exactly what Michelle Lapidos has done. Welcome to "Before and Afro."

Call me crazy, but I don't think it should be legal for adults to suck the blood from freshly circumcised baby penises. Alas, doing just that is a very important ritual for some Orthodox Jews. Called metzitzah b'peh, the process involves the mohel snipping away the foreskin and then sucking the blood from the penis to "cleanse" the wound. Obviously putting saliva on an open wound isn't considered an antiseptic practice in any realm of modern medicine, especially when that open wound belongs to an infant with a barely there immune system. Indeed, since 2002, metzitzah b'peh has been responsible for spreading Type 1 herpes, a very common condition in American adults, to 11 different babies, killing two of them and giving two others brain damage, according to ABC News.

This video of an ailing rat barrel-rolling down a sidewalk into the gutter to the vocal delight of the onlooking New Yorker is fraught with meaning, as Gothamist points out. But what does this video, apparently shot and uploaded to YouTube by an ambulance worker, symbolize? Here are some options depending on your current mood:

Jesse Scott Owen, a freshman at King's College in Manhattan, was knocked unconscious in the street Tuesday when a futon guided by the invisible hand of a vengeful angel, fell on him from a height of "at least" 30 stories.

The NYC Board of Health has approved a ban on large sodas, angering dozens of soft-drink lobbyists and neckbeards.

It's unclear what exactly motivated this young woman to start picking fights with random taxi cabs and other passing motorists in the middle of 6th and 22nd.

That or the MTA decided to turn the 1 train into a Six Flags-esque log flume ride. Either way, expect to get wet, experience "technical difficulties," and lose your mind while attempting to drown-out the screaming kids in the front row.

There are now numerous reports that between two and seven people were shot at 5th Avenue and 34th Street near the Empire State Building around 9 this morning. The New York Post currently says only two were shot. But the Twitter feed NYScanner reports that seven people were shot in total, including the shooter, who was killed by police. Of the other six victims, five are reportedly stable and one is in serious condition.

"Believe it or not, people without millions of dollars also like to drink coffee": a response to the NYT high line oped.

Here are some great photos of the 72nd & Second Ave. subway blast that occurred today in NYC. Somehow no one was harmed.

An attention-whorse named Oreo went buckwild in Manhattan yesterday, tearing through traffic and injuring three people.

Flash flood warnings have been issued until 5:30pm today for Brooklyn and Queens amid severe thunderstorms. And they weren't kidding! Multiple reports from Twitter show that some pretty impressive flooding has hit Brooklyn. The photo above was posted to Twitter by Jezerfic and was taken on Woodbine street in Bushwick, Brooklyn. I've also seen pictures from Williamsburg Gowanus and Park Slope. More pics as we get them.

The man is coming to shut down your yoga studios — it's up to you to defend your sacred spaces against their tyranny.

New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg is no stranger to fast food meddling: this is the same guy who fought against obesity with a ban on large sugary drinks.

Do you like New York City? Or, really, anywhere between Ohio and Connecticut? Because, haha, it might not exist tomorrow. There's a "potential for a widespread damaging wind event/derecho" tonight — and risk of tornadoes around New York City. But what even is a "derecho"? And how can you protect yourself from it?

Gay marriage became legal a year ago in New York today, and to commemorate the event, Mayor Michael Bloomberg and Council Speaker Christine Quinn announced that New York City alone made $259 million from all festivities that the 8,200+ gay-marriage licenses spawned. That's over three times what Brokeback Mountain grossed at the domestic box office. Gay pays.

Chuck Schumer has had it up to here with whooping cough.

What's it like to be a reader of New York magazine? Let's do a thought exercise. Imagine yourself waking up mid-afternoon in the hermetically-sealed sleeping tube that takes up most of the third floor of your luxurious brownstone. Outside the door of your bedroom, your robot maid is preparing a lunch. But today, you want something different. Today, you want to meet with the common people. "Servant!" you call. "Bring me... New York's 2012 'Cheap Eats' list!"

When we heard that Is Anyone Up founder Hunter Moore was arrested this past weekend in New York City, we thought maybe the FBI investigation into his now-defunct 'revenge porn' site had turned up something. Alas, it was only over a nightclub scuffle.