This week, the New York Times profiled twins from Ohio who graduated from Rutgers with journalism degrees. They're 24, and can't get jobs in New York. How do you think this went? It went like this: they quoted Deadspin.

Do you remember the bloody battle between Dubya and Kerry? Phyllis Nefler does. So do the NYT's bitchy Weddings & Celebrations editors, who love a juicy broadsheet when they can make one. The battle royale continues. Also, look: meerkats!

America's only state-licensed medical marijuana dealer is a non-profit dispensary working out of New Mexico. If you've ever experienced the purchasing of diesel-grade weed in a less-than-desirable situation, you can relate to Abby Goodnough's entirely fascinating New York Times report.

An relatively unnoticed supporting player at the trial of Anthony Marshall was A.G. Sulzberger, the great-grandson of Metropolitan Museum trustee and New York Times chairman Arthur Hays Sulzberger, grandson of Arthur Ochs "Punch" Sulzberger, the longtime chairman of both the Times and the museum, and son of Arthur Ochs "Pinch" Sulzberger, Jr., who now runs the paper.

• It's been two days since Condé Nast announced plans to shut down four of its magazines, but the bad news continues to trickle in. According to some number-crunching by Newsweek, the magazine giant could see ad revenue drop by $1 billion in 2009; rumor has it additional layoffs went down today; and the decision to shutter Gourmet is still generating controversy.
• CBS execs must be breathing a sigh of relief. Despite the insane media attention focused on David Letterman's sex scandal over the past week, Late Show advertisers appear to be sticking by him. [NYT]
• TV news: NBC has canceled the cop drama Southland. And ABC is picking up three show for the full season: Modern Family, Cougar Town, and The Middle.
• A Project Runway videogame is coming to the Wii next spring. [Variety]

Intrepid heir to the New York Times throne A.G. Sulzberger The Younger hath ventured forth in search of the city's oldest tree! Not to speak out of place, Sulzjunior, but are you sure the editors aren't screwing you?

We've always thought the Supreme Court could be livened up with more dog fights. Now, thanks to a controversy over something called "free speech," we're getting our wish. And the result could rip the liberal set asunder!

Yesterday's New York Times featured an excellent and stomach-turning investigation into Cargill, a meat-processing company that makes yummie prepackaged hamburgers with E. Coli and ammonia. We like it even more now that we know Cargill is a Times advertiser.

Charming ad in today's NYT: a 100 year-old Times front page, with a Corn Flakes ad at the bottom. 'Statue of Purity For Times Square,' says one typically laughable old-timey headline. How unlikely!

Altarcations are birthing friendships from our loins. Wonder if Phyllis Nefler will help this week's NYT Weddings & Celebrations elite fraternize over love of pervy facial hair and difficulties paying for pricey gay marriages. Bonds: we make them happen.

Sign That Shit's Bad: Ivy League alum deigning to include the previously excluded, those wannabe-Ivy guttertrash punks! What used to be considered a step above Chico State now makes the cut for scholastic Blue-Blooded's get-togethers. What gives? Introducing Ivy Plus.

In your friendly Friday media column: the NYT's standards editor retires, a Russian journokabob scandal, Time Warner really loves this "magazine" business, and the magazine industry has big plans, sure.

Being a movie star — or motherhood — makes Sarah Jessica Parker look sleepy. TLC learns its Gosselin lesson. Quentin Tarantino loves sequels. And Katy Perry teaches us the power of tit-pics. TGIF, you attractive devils! It's your gossip roundup!

In your conspiratorial Thursday media column: The New Yorker hates Brazil, Laurel Touby bids you farewell, Pinch Sulzberger ups his humor quotient, and sexism exists.

• Who hasn't looked at buying BusinessWeek by now? Daily News and US News owner Mort Zuckerman appears to be the latest mogul to join the party. [BW]
• The wave of job cuts at Condé Nast could begin in a few weeks or in a few months, depending on who you ask. But either way, it's going to be ugly. [NYO]
• Fox News continues to trounce the competition: Both CNN and MSNBC experienced big declines in ratings during the third quarter. The situation appears to be especially bleak at CNBC, however. [B&C, HuffPo, ZH]
• Simon & Schuster is shaking things up at a couple of its imprints. [Crain's]
• The New York Times is planning to introduce a Chicago-centric edition of the paper. That's in addition to the San Fran edition launching this fall. [NYT]
• Related: Is the New York Times going to start charging readers to access its website? That's still unclear, but the answer should be coming soon. [NYO]
• "Print is undead," reports the undead print newspaper the Village Voice. [VV]

The New York Times is reportedly determined to charge for its website; the only question is how. Offer special "membership" benefits, or rope off certain sections? Which sections? No one has any idea:

Heir to the New York Times throne A "To the Muthafuckin G" Sulzberger, The Younger, has been sent out into a virtual urban war zone! People are being shot (with BBs) all over Alphabet City. To the projects, AG!

Today is the annual "State of the Times" meeting for NYT employees. Send us details.

When asked how he keeps up "with the latest tech news when there are so many blogs," Times editor David Gallagher immediately cited TechMeme, a direct competitor of Blogrunner, as "one of my favorite sites." Although the Times serves Blogrunner results from the front of Gallagher's own section, the editor didn't plug the site in his three-paragraph answer. It wasn't the first time the Times forgot about its 2005 acquisition; reporter Saul Hansell says he considered pushing the newspaper to develop something similar before discovering "we actually owned a company that did that" (see video).

Last week, Barack Obama stood before the world with the prime ministers of Britain and France and accused Iran of secretly pursuing a nuclear weapon. Today, nameless spooks are telling the New York Times not so much. What's going on?