This morning former NYT food critic and media tour-taker Frank Bruni revealed the secret aliases he used, for reviewing restaurants! Way too late to matter. But we must know everything, from his bulimic childhood to his fraudulent credit card details.

Is there anything more symbolic of the American summer than the ice cream man? No! But some people hate the ice cream man. Who? Dang food-Nazi parents, that's who! Especially one whose Brooklyn restaurant serves deep-fried candy bars to children!

• Don Hewitt, the man who invented 60 Minutes, is dead at 86. [CBS, NYT]
• Those McKinsey consultants at Condé Nast have commenced their work. The first order of business: a review of Vogue and Condé Nast Traveler. [NYO]
• Related: Anna Wintour is "said to have told" Condé boss Si Newhouse that "she would welcome McKinsey to her offices." So welcome, guys! [WWD]
• Nine companies are said to be eyeing BusinessWeek, the struggling title owned by McGraw-Hill. The front-runner, according to the Post's Keith Kelly: financier Bruce Wasserstein, who also owns New York magazine. [NYP]
• Is Fox News going to fire Glenn Beck given all his insane comments and all the advertisers who have since abandoned the show? Alas, no. [DailyFinance]

In your sweaty Wednesday media column: Bruce Wasserstein winning a dubious race, sports columnists are being eaten by Twitter, a Hunter S. Thompson story, and more!

The biggest problems with the New York Times: fluff stories being given prominence, a withering reporting staff, and credulous hacks ready to put lies from politicians on page one. Welcome to 1964.

Yesterday in Norwalk, Connecticut the contents of former Penthouse publisher Bob Guccione's massive former townhouse were auctioned off for charity. Not surprisingly, some of the items in the auction were, uh, different, which somehow caught some potential buyers by surprise.

Rumors have been swirling about Fox courting cancer-stricken, old racist coot Don Imus to be part of their morning lineup, and now it seems they're close to reaching a deal. The question is: What the hell took them so long?

In August, it ain't where you're from, it's what wedding you're at. Not getting married/watching other people get married? Then you're probably single, friendless, or me. Enter Phyllis Nefler and the NYT Weddings & Celebrations to help ease/exacerbate our pain.

Today, in the New York Times awesome profile on Rahm Emanuel, some great stories. Chief among them: Rahm not getting invited to Camp David, Rahm nixing Sidney Blumenthal's role in Hilary Clinton's office, and Rahm the "pile driver." But why?

The New York Times Co., which you may know from glancing at your local news stand, is now also selling wine. Good wine! Not that cheap shit. Hey buddy, need some wine?

• After 37 years in business—and following several lease extensions—La Goulue on Madison Avenue will close its doors on Aug. 26. The owners say they're still hoping to reopen it somewhere else in the neighborhood. [NYT]
• Further evidence that this is a really tough time for media companies: The New York Times has licensed its name to a new wine club. [Reuters, release]
• Simon Hammerstein is hoping to revive The Box with some new talent. Joey Arias will be taking over hosting duties beginning next month. [P6]
• Like the many critics before him, New York's Adam Platt doesn't go easy on Monkey Bar: "A-list connections can't cover for D-grade cooking." [NYM]

Frank Bruni is leaving the New York Times restaurant beat, but he's moving on to something even bigger: the Frank Bruni® beat. He's his own brand now! Brand You® is the NYT's highest reward. A list, we've made!

Amy Sohn's new book sure does have some some hot dish: Sean Penn's bad in bed, Robert Downey Jr. cheats, and Kate Hudson is an evil bitch... in her mind. The celebs don't care, but the New York Post does!

Remember "aerobics," that early 80s sartorial nightmare ushered in by Jane Fonda, Olivia Newton-John and Richard Simmons? Well, it's making a comeback in LA's Silver Lake neighborhood, where local hipsters are now sweating it out in spandex, leotards and leg-warmers.

In the wake of the "Paula's leaving American Idol" tragedy, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and get ready for her to guest star on some shows about dowdy fat girls.

Yesterday Frank DiPascali, one of Bernie Madoff's closest aides since the mid-1970s, pled guilty to 10 felony counts and in the process offered up details on how he helped Madoff screw hundreds with their multi-billion dollar swindle.

Jill Abramson is technically the managing editor of the New York Times for "news," but in response to this wild modern media age, she has been transferred to the "puppies are cute" beat, full time.

The way we live now: moving to China, where there are paying jobs, especially for people with "initiative" and English language skills! Even better, you don't have to know the language, so forget Rosetta Stone and just go man!

Do you buy the cover story about the New York Times firing heroic famous person Ben Stein over a "conflict of interest?" You are so naive. This was a preemptive hit, to protect Barack Obama, our dictator.

• Two years after he was booted from MSNBC and CBS Radio for making racist comments, Fox Business is now in talks to team up with Don Imus. [LAT]
• Is Hachette selling Elle? The company seems to be hedging. [AdAge]
• Magazine publishers are allowing advertisers to slap their ads just about any place they want these days. They're also planning to keep printing those annoying subscription cards until the end of time. [NYT, AdAge]
• ABC is planning a big programming push for the fall with seven new series set to debut, which is roughly double what NBC and CBS have planned. [USAT]
• CNBC's ratings are down big, in case you haven't heard. [Guardian]
• G.I. Joe was No. 1 at the box office this weekend, grossing an estimated $56 million. Julie and Julia came in second place with $20.1 million. [Variety]