Last night's white glower rally in Michigan was supposed to tell us something novel and important, instead of mumbling vague phrases we've heard before. This time, we thought, a GOP primary vote would be decisive, recasting the narrative for the future, solidifying positions and increasing momentum.
Bronies are on the march. One of the strangest, most volatile fanbases on the internet has exploded over a tiny change to a beloved character on the children's cartoon "My Little Pony."
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the world as we know it is almost certainly going to end. Scientists have found evidence of flu in bats and are reporting the existence of a "never-before-seen virus whose risk to humans is unclear," which is almost exactly how the devastating virus in the movie Contagion is billed.
Last Thursday, Artie Hughes was out on his Long Island deck with his wife, relaxing and enjoying the unseasonably warm weather, when suddenly shit from an airplane lavatory rained down on their faces.
America's screaming, LOLCat conscience has finally found a suitable outlet in Hank, a Virginia cat that is running for Senate. Hank, an independent, is running against former Virginia governors George Allen and Tim Kaine. If you're feeling inspired, you can sign up to be one of Hank's volunteer phone bankers here, and then you can seek psychological help elsewhere.
Just when you thought the kids had discovered every possible way to ingest alcohol, they went ahead and started soaking tampons in vodka and shoving them up their rectums.
The remarkable thing about Mitt Romney's foot-in-mouth moments is that Mitt Romney's foot-in-mouth moments almost always have to do with Mitt Romney admitting that he is dreadfully, dreadfully wealthy. Romney, for example, is "not concerned about the very poor." His wife Ann, for example, drives "a couple of Cadillacs."
Virginia Del. Dave Albo brought down the state house floor with this prepared monologue today.
When my little brother Joey was about six years old, he was sent to "timeout" to think about something he'd done wrong. The thing he'd done wrong that day is now lost to family history, but my father recently unearthed the drawing it produced, and I wanted to share it with you, because it is Friday and because it is hilarious—if also very, very demented.
On Sunday, a 24-year-old Florida woman filed a police report that accused domestic abuser Chris Brown of "snatching" her iPhone from her outside of Miami's Cameo nightclub.
Living alone always sounds so good, doesn't it? You'd have complete control over the remote control. You could always finish the last of the cereal without feeling guilty about it. You could walk around naked every morning. The possibilities are endless.
Well, this is very awful. This is "Drunk Text," Paris Hilton's "latest" single and a collaboration with the house music production duo Manufactured Superstars.
