USA Today has five reporters covering Congress, and 27 covering entertainment. To be fair: Justin Bieber.

In your foreboding Monday media column: speculating on News Corp's education business, Associated Content is good for something, NBC Nightly News is now scrounging for any old viewers, Keith Olbermann prepares to talk trash, and a new media blog.

In your innovative Thursday media column: The Nation vs. the New York Times, Newsweek's quiet on its merger plans, your good media idea could make you millions, NPR's Juan Williams investigation is underway, and a remembrance.

In your bloviating Wednesday media column: Lou Dobbs gets a new show, Tribune Co prepares for bonus season, Business Insider backtracks on a listicle, and Slate is—or is it?

The message of this baffling ad for the Washington Post iPad edition seems to be that technology is too difficult for newspaper journalists to master, who are generally old and confused and prone to yell strange things at one another.

In your laughable Tuesday media column: Sarah Palin feuds comically with the WSJ, nobody watched the George Bush interview, Salon is (still) broke, and Gerald Levin returns to the media, for some reason.

In your icy Monday media column: Fox News anonymice reveal obvious scandals, turmoil at Essence, Bernie Sanders is moved to insanity by Keith Olbermann, Peter Chernin's big plans, and Euna Lee says she considered suicide in prison.

In your unified Friday media column: a strike at the BBC, Daily Candy's editor is out, Forbes debuts its "sponsored blog," and Jon Friedman has but one wish.

In your salacious Thursday media column: Olivier Zahm is a sexual prophet, the massive corporate media monsters flourish, ladies leave the New York Observer, and "The Way We Live Now" belongs to us!

In your non-political Wednesday media column: Cash Money books are coming, Newsweek's editor search drags on and on, the boss Moonie buys back the Washington Times, and Arianna Huffington and Robert Thomson creep, yeaaa, just keep it on the Twitpic.

In your backstabby Tuesday media column: Aussie papers want Col Allan back, Daily Beast staffers are pissed at their bosses, Tribune Co is canning its executives, News Corp's paywall is still flickering, and Variety's booting its editor. Hard times.

In your ascendant Monday media column: Bon Appetit finally names its new editor, the NYT public editor walks a fine line, Piers Morgan gets a producer, and Fox Business Network makes itself useful.

In your portentous Friday media column: leadership shuffles at Bon Appetit, Glenn Greenwald vs. Chuck Todd, changes at the National Magazine Awards, and Tribune Co's bankruptcy will drag on, forever.

In your ignominious Thursday media column: Conrad Black has big plans, new hires at Fast Company, Conde Nast's memo-writing abilities are woefully inadequate, and the wee New York Times Co. lives in a tiny dollhouse.

In Georgia, a state wracked by drought and educational miseries, local newspapers are involved in a holy pursuit: arguing about hunting. Haw haw, can you believe that reporter next town over don't like hunting? Haw haw.

In your head-scratching Wednesday media column: Barry Diller's wacky plan for The Daily Beast, Conde Nast advertising shakeup, Shep Smith stays on at Fox News, and Juan Williams fans continue to provide comic relief.

In your vacuous Tuesday media column: the Juan Williams brigade pipes up, Politico launches a paid news operation, Katie Couric might stay at CBS, and Rupert Murdoch's war against Hollywood PR firms.

In your mortal Monday media column: Lee Abrams' full "Sluts" memo revealed, even more on Newsweek, Joao Silva's alive, Style.com moves to Fairchild, and newspapers continue to exist.

Today's edition of the Toronto Star is actually worth reading for one reason: It was guest edited by the Dalai Lama. Here's a video of His Holiness' thought process while deciding what went into the paper's Sunday edition.

As expected, horny Tribune Co. CEO Randy Michaels is gone. The following memo just went out to employees: