• Dina Lohan, America's No. 1 mom and the face of a new line of shoes, is defending Lindsay against her dad's accusation that the actress is addicted to drugs and desperately needs an intervention. ("I have no idea what he is talking about," Dina says.) She also stood up for LiLo's fashion design skills, even after her debut as Emanuel Ungaro's "artistic adviser" was savaged by the press earlier this week: "The critics can say whatever they want, but Lindsay is a genius," she said. [P6, NYDN, Radar]
• Mischa Barton reportedly "had a drink in hand all night" on the LES on Wednesday, where she was seen buying shots for Young Veins' frontman Ryan Ross. Where's Michael Lohan when you need him? [NYDN]
• Meanwhile, model Agyness Deyn is reportedly laying off the booze in solidarity with her boyfriend, Albert Hammond Jr., who is in rehab. [P6]

• The gloves are off in the divorce between ex-model Stephanie Seymour and mogul Peter Brant. He claims she blows through $257,000 a month (including $50K a month on clothing alone); has been stealing and/or smashing some of his "pricey art objects"; has a history of abusing drugs; and has been bringing her boyfriend to the house. Team Seymour has yet to respond with its side of the story, but you can be sure it's going to be equally salacious. [P6]
• In other news of warring exes, Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook are back at it. Cook's lawyer says Brinkley violated the couple's divorce settlement and should go to jail because of it. Brinkley's team says it was Cook who is at fault and he should be put in jail. At least they agree on one thing! [NYP]
• Madonna supposedly has real estate brokers hunting for an apartment for Jesus Luz, since she's not ready to have him move in with her. Meanwhile, ex-husband Guy Ritchie has finally gotten around to responding to Madonna's comments that he's "emotionally retarded." In an interview with Esquire, Ritchie responded, "I still love her. But she's retarded, too." [Sun, Esquire]
• Did you know that Dina Lohan has a "celebrity" shoe line called Shoe-Han? She does! And it will be unveiled today at Trump Plaza. Exciting! [P6, People]

Ed Norton and girlfriend Shauna Robertson leaving L'Orange Bleue in SoHo ... Jude Law arriving at JFK ... Shia LaBeouf walking in SoHo ... Whitney Port walking to Think Coffee ... Josh Hartnett and model Sophia Lie shopping at Thompson Chemists in SoHo ... Sarah Jessica Parker shooting scenes for Sex and the City in the Village ... Blake Lively and Penn Badgley hailing a cab after lunch at Cafeteria in Chelsea ... Mischa Barton walking to a photo shoot in SoHo ... Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo eating dinner at McFadden's Restaurant and Saloon on Second Avenue ... Kirsten Dunst walking by herself ... Jeremy Sisto carrying his baby in the Village ... and Drew Barrymore going to dinner with Justin Long on East Sixth Street ... and Nicole Kidman sitting with husband Keith Urban at the US Open.

• Relationships: Sean Penn may have a new girlfriend now that he and Robin Wright Penn are divorcing; Nick Lachey appears to have reunited with Vanessa Minnillo; Khloe Kardashian has a new boyfriend; and George Clooney is no longer trying to hide his relationship with Italian TV star Elisabetta Canalis.

• Remember how Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn said they were divorcing a few months ago, but then changed their minds and announced they were getting back together? Yea, well, they're divorcing again. [P6, People]
• ESPN's Erin Andrews, the reporter who was filmed in the nude without her consent a few weeks back, can be seen in a new set of "dirty" photos. This time it was intentional, though. [NYDN]
• Celine Dion and the man she calls her husband (but who we always confuse with her grandfather for some reason) are expecting their second child. [OK]
• Leighton Meester was shouting and carrying on with her friends at Philippe in East Hampton last weekend, much to the annoyance of other diners present like NBC chief Jeff Zucker and billionaire Steve Schwarzman. [P6]

Sherri Shepherd tried to religionize Andy Dick, Heidi claims Spencer makes her orgasm 20-30 times a day, the George Clooney gay rumors are back, Nick Lachey is lonely, Lindsay Lohan scored an acting gig and Mischa Barton has cellulite.

• Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps got into a car accident in Baltimore last night, but there were no serious injuries reported. [NYDN]
• The father of Khloe Kardashian's baby is her on-again, off-again boyfriend, Scott Disick. She was hoping to keep the info a secret to get people to tune into her upcoming reality show, but then her sister Kim ruined the surprise. [P6]
• Don't be surprised if you hear Mischa Barton's checked herself into the hospital again. She's been out, oh, two weeks now and the British tabloids are focusing on all the cellulite she has, poor thing. [DM]
• Heidi Pratt says she has "20-30 orgasms per day" with husband Spencer Pratt. Could this be because she experiences what she thinks is an orgasm every time she sees her name appear in tabloid or gossip outlet? Just an idea. [P6]

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minillo bite the dust, Jon Gosselin's new girlfriend will be on the next season of J&K+8, Lindsay Lohan tries to pick up Justin Timberlake in a club and Megan Fox almost burns down a Louisiana town.

• Just in case Mercy won't have enough culture shock to deal with when she arrives in NYC, Madonna reportedly wants to turn her newly-acquired Upper East Side townhouse into a "replica" of her countryside estate in England. She's having her staffers "troll the Upper East Side boutiques for candelabras, side tables, and period chaises." And poor Mercy will be looking to hop a flight back to Africa pretty soon. [Mirror]
• Break out the tissues: It seems Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo have split up. [Us]
• Oprah is taking 100 employees and their families on an all-expenses paid 10-day cruise around the Mediterranean to celebrate her birthday. [NYDN]
• Justin Timberlake got kinda drunk at Avenue the other night. He still had the sense to "shoo" Lindsay Lohan away, but he may have gotten cozy with a woman who was not Jessica Biel, depending on who you believe. [P6]

• Paris Hilton's reps have been asking event planners in Cannes for $100,000 appearance fees. Sadly, Paris isn't having much luck getting them to go along since, well, "it's not 2002." [P6]
• Sarah Jessica Parker says she's worried about the health of the surrogate mom carrying her twins, since tabloid reporters have been harassing the poor girl and trying to hack into her computer. [People, LAT]
• A documentary about Amy Winehouse is reportedly in the works. Should be entertaining! [People]
• Katie Holmes showed up with Suri at last night's American Idol finale. This is good news since it means Tom finally let her out of the house. [Us]

• Eliot and Silda Spitzer made their first public appearance together last night. The couple turned up at the Waldorf for the eighth annual Children's Benefit Gala and were spotted holding hands and making "lovey-dovey looks at each other." Unconditional love is a beautiful thing. [NYDN]
• The stress over the Kiefer Sutherland/Jack McCollough incident must be getting to Brooke Shields: She was spotted looking "upset, overwhelmed and stressed" at the Innocence Project gala on Wednesday night. On a related note, the desk appearance ticket Kiefer received yesterday means he will be a free man until he shows up in court on June 21. [NYDN, NYP]
• Lindsay Lohan's 15-year-old sister Ali has reportedly dropped out of high school so she can party full-time with her big sister. Good work, Dina. [P6]
• Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are expecting girls when their surrogate gives birth in a few weeks. [OK!]

• Lindsay Lohan is "drowning her sorrows" over Sam Ronson in a "sea of men," including 90210's Kellan Lutz and British paparazzo Chris Jepson. She's also going out all the time again, and hit up six clubs in one evening last week. But that's probably just because she's naturally very energetic. [P6]
• In related news, LiLo tells E! that she isn't in talks to join a topless show in Las Vegas, but she'd be willing to dabble in the burlesque world for the right price. [OK!]
• Uma Thurman's rep says she and Arpad Busson did not get married in the Bahamas last weekend, although it's rumored the couple is planning a "low-key" wedding this Saturday instead. [E!, Sun]
• Daphne Guinness was supposedly overheard telling a friend that she and Andre Balazs aren't "seeing each other seriously," since she's about to move in with French philosopher Bernard-Henri Levy. [P6]

Unless you have reason to keep track of focus group-speak, you may not know that those born after 1980 are no longer members of Gen Y: They're Millennials, and unlike the brash, acquisitive, me-me-me Gen Y brats with their bling and labels and rainbow parties, Millennials are apparently leading the zeitgeist's new mood of worthy earnestness. Needless to say, this a huge pain for MTV, which is now obliged to supplement its usual rotation of spoiled vapidity displays like My Super Sweet 16 with shows that—God help us—are more community-spirited and "inspirational."

• You didn't think Eliot Spitzer was planning to stay out of the spotlight forever, did you? Rumor has it the disgraced ex-governor is hoping to get his old job back as attorney general once Andrew Cuomo runs for governor in 2010. [P6]
• Mel Gibson and his wife Robyn have filed for divorce after 28 years of marriage, reportedly because Mel has been involved with a Russian singer named Oksana Kolesnikova. [NYP, OK!]
• Madonna's PR offensive continues: Not only is she hoping to win hearts and minds in Malawi by releasing pics of herself holding baby Mercy in her arms, she also has had her former nanny talking up her parenting skills to any reporter willing to listen. [DM, MSNBC]
• Uh oh! Rumor has it Gwyneth Paltrow is planning to spawn again. [Sun]

It's gross and rainy out, plus there's no news, so here are three funny(ish) clips from morning TV. Lachey doesn't know where Cairo is, Saget likes pot, and Fred Armisen does his best Behar.

Hugh Jackman carrying a box out of Blick Art on Bond Street ... Uma Thurman leaving her West Village townhouse with son Levon ... Jennifer Aniston filming scenes for her new movie at a restaurant in Williamsburg ... Paul McCartney standing outside Arabelle on East 64th Street ... Model Carmen Kass sitting outside at Bar Pitti ... Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo leaving ABC studios ... LL Cool J driving a Bentley in Midtown ... Famke Janssen getting on a bike ... and Chace Crawford being chased by two female fans on the set of Gossip Girl.

Nick Lachey offers ex-wife Jessica some backhanded support. [Extra]

• Is Jennifer Lopez getting ready to say goodbye to Marc Anthony? She neglected to wear her wedding ring to a premiere last week, which obviously means her marriage is now "at a breaking point." [Us, The Sun]
• Jeremy Piven is heading home. Just two months after arriving on Broadway (and after showing up late to performances and skipping matinees), he says he now plans to return to LA because he's suffering from some sort of "mysterious mercury ailment." [NYP]
• Good news for anyone going to the inauguration: Alec Baldwin says he plans to stay home and watch it on TV. [MSNBC]

Filmmaker Morgan Spurlock is 38 today. Joni Mitchell is 65. Reverend Billy Graham is 90. General David Petraeus is turning 56. Former Brady Bunch star Christopher Knight turns 51. Lost star Yunjin Kim is 35. Interior designer John Barman is 59. And twin actors Jeremy and Jason London are 36. Weekend birthdays after the jump.

As we’ve noted in the past, Stinky master of predicting the future of love sounds Justin Timberlake isn’t quite on the level of Richard Pryor or Lenny Bruce when it comes to comedy routines. After failing to elicit laughs at the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame earlier this year, and trying out the rarely-cute attempt to evade relationship questions on Leno, Timberlake is evidently still fixated on proving he’s just bursting with comedic prowess. His latest stunt? Impersonating Jessica Simpson at the Timberlake-hosted ESPYs, airing this Sunday, by wearing a cheap blonde wig, standing in front of a cut-out of her daisy dukes, and making frightening facial expressions supposedly meant to resemble the time-traveling Tony Romo groupie. The good news? Despite these photos doing little to inspire even a smirk from us, we feel the need to point out Timberlake’s impressively hilarious impersonations of the past on Saturday Night Live, both as a tweaked out awesomer-than-thou Ashton Kutcher, and a far better Jessica Simpson impression years before: