If you've put off trying to infiltrate Hyde, the current hottest and most exclusive celebrity-jammed glory hole in all of Hollywood, for fear of winding up collateral damage in a hair-yanking disagreement between Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton, it might be time to take the risk. Especially if you're trying to "make it in the business," as Rush & Molloy report that the club's clientele now officially includes high-profile producer types out trolling for tail:

• Mukund Rao and Blue Note's Amos Lee strum a few tunes tonight at Freddy's Backroom in Brooklyn. Someone you've actually heard of — not bad for a dive bar on Wednesday. [Freddy's]
• The City Council exposes itself to sunlight long enough to pretend it cares about the environment. Get your crunchy on tonight at Stuyvesant Cove Park for the panel discussion "City Council and the Greening of NYC." [Solar1]
• The O Brother, Where Are Thou soundtrack may be the only bluegrass you've ever heard, but you liked it nonetheless. Ralph Stanley of such fame plays tonight, for free, at Rockefeller Park. [flavorpill]

Elizabeth Spiers stiffens as lit agent Kate Lee goes straight for her wallet.

• As part of the Museum Mile festival, the nine museums on 5th Avenue between 82nd and 105th Streets open their doors for free today. Here's your chance to skirt the $15 recommended donation at the Met with a clean conscience. [flavorpill]
• Michael Showalter, of Stella and The Baxter fame, performs at Rififi at 10pm tonight. Granted, The Baxter didn't inspire so much as a chuckle, but these things are allegedly funnier in person. [Paper]
• Radiohead play Madison Square Garden tonight; Sonic Youth play CBGBs. You play "Grand Theft Auto San Andreas" at home because you were either too lazy to get a ticket ahead of time or too poor to deal with scalpers. [Upcoming]

• The Marijuana Policy Project throws itself an awards party at Capitale tonight hosted by resident lefties Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon, Weeds star Mary-Louise Parker, and, uh, Montel Williams. Tickets are a staggering $300, which seems like an awfully high price for something that's not even guaranteed to get you stoned. But being near Montel is worth at least $250. [MPP]
• Mintyfresh, a stand-up comic showcase, hits Mo Pitkins. We can't guarantee it'll make you laugh, but maybe it'll distract you from those Radiohead tickets you didn't get. [Upcoming]
• Having had his fill with dead Somalis and Columbian drug lords, Black Hawk Down author Mark Bowden turns his attention to the 1979 Iranian hostage crisis in his latest book, Guests of the Ayatollah, which he discusses today at the Barnes and Noble at Union Square. Not one for levity, that Bowden. [flavorpill]

This morning was supposed to be special: according to Brandweek, today would mark the launch of Code.tv, an online television network aimed towards 25-49-year-old New Yorkers who earn $100K or more (i.e., suits and web entrepreneurs). Featuring aesthetically pleasing hosts, "Code.tv will show viewers new restaurants, nightclubs, and stores in New York and the Hamptons." Think Daily Candy meets Thrillist meets MUG meets YouTube meets migraine headaches.

Please clear room in your schedule for tonight's mandatory gathering:

Friday:
• The day of days is finally here: Lindsay and Meryl hit the big screen in A Prairie Home Companion. Judge the firecrotch in all her artistic glory. [flavorpill]
• Take a silent auction, subtract the Franzia and cheese cubes, and add a keg. Should be fun until people start breaking the art over their heads. [Gothamist]
• Former Page Sixer Ian Spiegelman reads from his novel, Welcome to Yesterday. Go and ask him about Doug Dechert. Trust us. [NYM]

As the rain ceases and the clouds clear the sky, it's time for Blue States Lose, wherein we selflessly sift through fucktard photos on The Cobrasnake, Last Night’s Party, Misshapes, and Ambrel. After the jump, Joey Arak shows you his armpit piercings.

• Madonna signs a deal with H&M, under which she and all of her crew will be outfitted with a complete H&M wardrobe for when they're off-stage. You know, when no one will actually cares what they're wearing. [AP]
• Harry Potter mastermind JK Rowling has been named the greatest living British writer in a UK magazine poll. Huh? We expected this sort of outcome from Americans, but not the Brits. Salman Rushdie, Zadie Smith, Ian McEwan cry into their pillows. [BBC]
• Just in time for summer, surf's up at the Williamsburg waterfront! Don't forget your syringes! [YouTube via Curbed]
• Fader magazine releases its entire issue on podcast. Paper — and reading, for that matter — is so provincial. [Fader]
• The Times' Kate Aurthur flees the coop, joins the LA Times as its new television editor. [LA Observed]
• Microsoft hires Demetri Martin for its upcoming campaign. Poor guy. [SPI via The Apiary]
• Angelina Jolie actually understands latitudes and longitudes. Good for her. [Us Weekly]
• Useful advice on how NOT to get murdered when thrown out of a club. [Clublife]

• What's better than Pearl Jam? Pearl Jam music, with a full choir, and an open bar. Hear "Alive" in four-part harmony for a good cause. [Brooklyn Lyceum]
• David Goodwillie reads from his memoir Seemed Like A Good Idea at the Time, which follows the escapades of a party-loving writer. Nothing too familiar to you people, we're sure. [McNally Robinson]
• IKEA without the meatballs: Jorge Pardo uses everyday furniture to make highbrow art. See what a folding chair can do tonight at the Friedrich Petzel Gallery. [flavorpill]

• Druh Trav comes all the way from the Czech Republic for some "Eastern Bloc Bluegrass." We'd no idea they have banjoes over there, but more power to 'em. [flavorpill]
• A free screening of an air guitar documentary? God is smiling upon you. Smile back tonight at Rockefeller Center. [Upcoming]
• McSweeney's takes Bryant Park by storm for their Sleep and Ice Tour. It's not so much a rock show as a book reading, but you take what you can get. [McSweeney's]

• In honor of the devil's big day, Maxim declares that as Satan, Katie Couric deserves to be their girl of the day. [Maxim]
• Maybe we're just slaphappy — no, we're definitely just slaphappy — but we cannot stop laughing at this stupid video. You know some lonely little gay is so in love with Anna Wintour that he spent an entire week locked in his parents' basement, creating this homage for the one he loves. It's sad and completely hysterical. [YouTube]
• If you want to smoke outside on the Maritime's patio, you must be sitting down. No standing — your lungs can't handle the strain. [HotelChatter]
• The Bulgarian Bar is back! Re-opening party to be hosted by Ariel Kaminer! [Gogol Bordello]
• The Wall Street Journal declares Philly home of the cheesecake. [Philadelphia Will Do]
• When MySpace wrongs you, upload hardcore pornography. [Consumerist]
• You don't want to know this, but the truth will set you free: Janice Dickinson spent three days in a hotel room fucking Dolph Lundgren and Grace Slick. OK, we lied. The truth will just make you a little sick. [Cityrag]
• Tricia Romano crawls deep inside Mr. Black's ass. [VV]
• And don't forget, today is the National Day of Slayer. Celebrate by rocking the fuck out with the angel of death. [NDS]

• Interactive slideshow Trashiscapes features images decorated with "expressive lines of cocaine." You're already there, aren't you? [flavorpill]
• At the inaugural Beg Yr Pardon party at the Delancey, $5 gets you 5 bands, free brownies, and all-you-can-eat BBQ. Can't say we've heard of the bands, but brownies and BBQ? Those we can heartily endorse. [BegYrPardon]
• Tonight. Union Square Barnes & Noble. 7 PM. You. Anderson. 360 degrees of lust.

• Basic Instinct but without the va-jay-jay: Adam Rapp directs cagelove, a psychosexual play, at the Rattlestick Theater. [flavorpill]
• Garrison Keillor of A Prairie Home Companion fame gives a reading tonight at Barnes & Noble. Ask him what it was like to work with Lindsay; he's never gotten that one before. [Paper]
• Joan Jett hits the Bowery Ballroom because, well, she loves rock'n'roll. She also has some other songs, apparently, so head down and see what that's about. [Prefix]

Friday:
• Playing tonight and tomorrow, Ain't Supposed to Die a Natural Death is a musical about black ghetto life. Now there's a sentence you never thought you'd read. [flavorpill]
• Jon Voight continues his ill-planned quest to gain access to his grandaughter Shiloh tonight at the Village East Theatre. Also, there's a movie. [Paper]

Mess up your hair and put on your vintage sweatband, because it's time to pay homage to the sweaty, fucked-up hipsters you've come to know and love with Blue States Lose. As always, we go spelunking through the photos at The Cobrasnake, Last Night's Party, Misshapes, and Ambrel so you won't have to. After the jump, Joey Arak bathes in a tub of Sparks.

• EMERGENCY — some sort of multi-disciplinary good cause — launches tonight with a fabulously adolescent benefit. Which means go-karts and booze. Seriously, why are you not there already? Holasek Weir Projects, 547 W. 21 street @ 11th avenue, 7pm - 1am.
• Anime: the stuff of high school lepers and real world hipsters. Kihachiro Kawamoto leads them all, and anytime you get to watch cartoons and call it art gets our approval. [flavorpill]
• What could actually entice you to New Jersey? Pearl Jam, that's what. Or Joe Cocker. What's the difference? [Upcoming]

• P.S. 122 hosts Leftover Stories To Tell, a 5-day theater extravaganza created from the work of Spalding Gray. If you're one of the five or so people not actually in the show, grab a seat and join the fun. [PS 122]
•Michael Cunningham, of The Hours fame, is apparently too Pulitzer-ed and important to spend more than more one night with you people, so this is it. Hear him read from his new book Specimen Days tonight at 7. [Symphony Space]
• Since you haven't heard his mealy mouthed song enough, James Blunt is playing a free, all-ages show tonight at The Cutting Room. Yeah, that won't be crowded. 19 W. 24th St., doors open at 7.

Having not been the subject of any of his tempramental emails, the Observer was thus not banned from former Page Six reporter Ian Spiegelman's party for his new novel, Welcome to Yesterday. And good thing, or we'd never gain such insight into the mind of a literary talent. Some of Spiegelman's quotables: