Early Thursday morning, workers at a funeral home were shocked when they found a man alive—and literally kicking—inside one of their body bags. The man was set to be embalmed later that morning.

We were saddened by the loss of East Village bar Midway's liquor license. Not only because losing a place to drink is like losing a limb but because it meant yesterday's goodbye party for now-defunct zine The Crier was off. Happily for alcoholics, Dave the head booker has good news, "Midway has not lost its liquor license. The last one expired and the new one has been tied up in Albany & Community Board red tape that allows them to wait until 10/12 to object to our license before the State Liquor Authority can issue it. We are expecting to be renewed in time for CMJ next week. The Crier party has been postponed to 11/6, not canceled." Can the same be said for The Crier? Bilious Crier editor Doree Shafrir says, "I hope so."

A Hachette Filipacchi spokesperson wants us to let you all know that Home magazine is not going under. "Home magazine will continue to be published 8 times a year with a rate base of 800,000." (That number used to be 1 mil, by the way.) So stop bothering them, okay? Everything's fine—no matter what they said on the executive floor.

Chumley's, whose chimney collapsed yesterday and whose demolition we predicted was imminent, has lived to greet the new dawn. The FDNY and the DOB have decided not to demolish the whole building but rather to shore it up and sally forth with renovations 'n' reconstruction. Tragically for bookish alcoholics, Chumley's will for a while remain in a Schiavo state of unresponsiveness. On the bright side, continuing Chumley's literary tradition, the whole affair did give rise to some memorable cuts of occasional prosody. Surely to be remembered is the work of the Times' Trymaine Lee, whose elegiac images and sonorous prose have earned him the appellation the "Carl Sandburg of Chumley's." To wit: "Snowflakes fell upon the old speakeasy as firefighters stood staring into its now dusty guts." Okay!