Calling for an end to "NSFW", the "Pink Ghetto Blaster" panelists at SXSW questioned why all blogging about sex is classified as "inappropriate" when playing a Flash game — or reading Valleywag during billable hours — isn't "safe for work," either. "It's wrong when showing an interest in human sexuality can cost you a job," says panelist Elizabeth Wood. We can't disagree — think how messy it gets around the office when sex is your job?
It's an acronym, actually, and it means Not Safe For Work. This week was filled with great NSFW stuff: Lindsay Lohan's boobs, Gene Simmons's sex tape and even part of the Paris Hilton's nipple. But the only thing more depressing than seeing a former rock legend with a flexible blonde is not being able to see it at work. (NSFW)
"Watch the sex tape Gene doesn't want you to see," GenesSecret.com promises. The website purportedly hosts a NSFW sex tape of Kiss frontman Gene Simmons. Leave aside the question of whether anyone wants to see Simmons in flagrante. Does Simmons himself really object to the site? Nothing revives the Q factor of an aging rocker like a bit of scandal. Since he's no longer recording, just touring, he doesn't have a skittish label to appease. And thanks to the Internet, he doesn't have to rely on the tabloids to get his name out. Welcome to the age of DIY career makeovers. Is it really Simmons? Judge for yourself from these excerpts in which his face is most visible:
Mashable founder Pete Cashmore is "hot," StyleDiary's Patricia Handschiegel told me the other night at dinner. Overhearing us, another chimed in. "Oh yes, he's hot," she said. Keep your pants on, girls! Literally. Cashmore doesn't have to worry about Handschiegel stripping — she's a lady — but a screenshot of "recent visitors" who have built profiles on the site indicates some of Cashmore's readers aren't. After the jump, see their profile pages. A warning: Not safe for work.
Page Six reported yesterday that the faaabulous fashion designer is rumored to be fooling around with porn star/escort Erik Rhodes. You'll remember that Jacobs' current (past?) boyfriend Jason Preston was also a rent boy before the pair got together. Evidently all three met when Jacobs and Preston invited Rhodes over for a threesome. Rhodes doesn't deny the rumors that the pair are hooking-up on his personal blog. GaySocialites.com speculates that Jacobs is just trying to get back at Preston for doing the same thing. This is all really filthy and tacky and sort of terrific. After the jump, an extremely NSFW video of Rhodes at the RentBoy.com awards last year, at which he won the best Porn Star/Escort award. If you can, please watch it. He's wearing a shirt that says "Hooker" ("designed by my brother") and says that he doesn't usually enjoy the sex he does in "the porns." Le sigh.
When the FCC proposed fining 50 ABC affiliates $1.4 million for nudity in a five-year-old NYPD Blue Episode Friday, it reasoned that the exposed body parts were "titillating" even though the derriere is not (technically) a sexual organ and even though the scene in question involved a young boy. This week, broadcasters will have their say about an FCC Supreme Court appeal on indecency, so a brave squad of bloggers has taken it upon themselves to review the graphic evidence in the NYPD Blue case. After the jump, one of the "shocking" shots with "a "small portion" of breast, and links to more photos and commentary. You're welcome, in advance, for this important contribution to the national dialog. Also, NSFW, but barely.
For those of you who haven't met him, Biblically or otherwise, last week we introduced you to the greatest Casanova of all time, Paul "Jenkem" Janka. One of our intrepid readers took it upon themselves to begin a textual relationship with him. Something we learned is that Janka plays "Would you rather..." quite well and once did it with a dude. WHAT FOLLOWS ARE WORDS THAT ARE NOT SAFE FOR WORK. Or society.
A tipster sent us this interesting screenshot. When you search for the word "link" on Yahoo, the search engine helpfully suggests a few "related" links. For those who don't know, "2 girls 1 cup" is an outrageous, disgusting, horrendous Not Safe For Work TM video that has been making its way around the Internet the past few months. It is so bad, we won't link to it, but here is a video of someone watching "2 girls 1 cup" for the first time.
Paul Janka, who shot to internet infamy this week over his lady-killing ways, delights in the titillation of the written word. A recent or soon-to-be-recent conquest of his sent us this writing of his; she received it from him. It looks to be a form letter. Its content is something of a mix between a instruction manual, street directions and high schooler's version of Les Petits Oiseaux. He calls his penis a "warm muscle." If words can be NSFW, it's definitely NSFW.
Fark.com LLC, Drew Curtis' company which operates the zany headlines site, has applied for a trademark on "not safe for work" with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. Given how long "NSFW" has been around, we suspect it might be difficult getting the mark granted, never mind how Fark founder Drew Curtis proposes to enforce it. We suspect it might be part of a prank, but who knows? Only Drew. Maybe if we send him a beer, he'll spill the beans.
Got ish? Our advice columnist, the noted blogger and author Tionna Tee Smalls, is here to help you confront it all head-on. In this edition, Tionna takes on an unpleasant odor. Those who are for whatever reason phobic about frank discussions regarding women's health should consider themselves warned.
This tops the list of four-word phrases that we file in our "DO NOT WANT" folder. We're not even sure if this really is White Stripes drummer Meg White taking it in a variety of different positions; if it is, she's showing more rhythm that she's ever previously displayed. TOTALLY NOT SAFE FOR WORK. [Fleshbot]
I've always wondered what kind of people use Zooomr, the also-ran photo-sharing site run by underaged and reportedly credit-deprived developer Kris Tate. Apparently, people who feel they've got something to share with the rest of the world. Something very personal, and something they're attached to. Intimately. Recent visitors to the site's "Discover" page were greeted by a collage of images that included some unpleasant and definitely not safe for work contributions. If you're easily shocked, move along now. But if you're curious to see what Tate apparently considers acceptable on his "No Limits Photo Sharing" site, click through to the jump.
The second-to-top post on full-time celebrity nudity site Egotastic concerns actress Mary Louise Parker and her bareass publicity campaign for the show "Weeds." The post above it? An array of Claire Danes nip slip pictures. That bitch won't even let poor Mary Louise keep the skinflash demographic to herself. Why are you so petty and vindictive, Claire Danes? [Links NSFW if your work doesn't approve of asses or nipples.]
In the real New York, bar bathrooms serve as fitting rooms for trying on potential pairings, an all-important step before making that one-night commitment. Luckily for us, Slut Machine has been around all the blocks. In this occasional column, she rates which restrooms of N.Y.C.'s watering holes are best for non-traditional restroom activities. And then you call her a slut in the comments, you perceptive creatures you.
