Don't get us wrong, we're as moderately fond of the Astor Place Cube as the next non-NYU kid. And so, yeah, we suppose we're also opposed to vandalizing it. Which is were vaguely discomfited by the headline on an article we were just sent from the Washington Square News, NYU's student paper: "Cube Found Vandalized, Seven Arrested." We wondered, what sort of horrible vandalism could provoke such such mass arrests? And so we read on:

• Because God is inexplicably protecting Maer Roshan, Radar still looms over us. Well, kind of. Maybe not. Maybe so, with Jesse Jackson's son in the mix. And whether or not the mag that Maer built comes alive, it sure is fun to speculate and send Roshan into a secretive frenzy.
• Our sick and psychotic Gawker Stalker Maps continue to destroy the world, prompting George Clooneyto don his Batman suit and unite his flacky friends against our satanic practices. The New York Press agrees that we're bad people and, moreover, just snarkity snark snark snarky.
• Naomi Campbell assaults her staff again — and this time, it's over a pair of jeans.
• Hell of a week for masthead changes: Wall Street Journal's Weekend Journal editor Amy Stevens saunters over to Conde; the Observer's Ben Smith relocates to the Daily News; more changes at Spin; and Newsweek executive editor Dorothy Kalins suspiciously heads upstairs.
• Breaking: Just like any student at any college, NYU kids like to party.
• Circulation desperation sets in, and free papers are everyfuckingwhere. And if they're free papers from the Post, you'll find them at the dump. Or China.
• It took way too long, but the Village Voice's doe-eyed young fabulist Nick Sylvester finally gets fired.

NYU's student paper, the Washington Square News, has a stunning exposé today in which they pull the veil off of higher education and reveal — wait for it — that college kids smoke pot. (Commence shocked head-shaking.) The problem is so darn rampant, in fact, so that one dorm hallway in particular has been dubbed the "Pot Palace," where students break dorm rules (so unbelievably disrespectful) just to get high. To get into the suite best known for the potheads within, you must execute a secret knock to the tune of Super Mario Brothers, and from there the door opens into a world you probably know very well. Some shocking clichés:

Nothing brings out the drunken college kids like the first vaguely warmer days of spring. (We drunken out-of-college kids drink proudly and consistently, heedless of weather.) So suddenly, here they are. And they're confusing us. To help us understand the folkways of this exotic tribe, we asked Gawker Mascot and amateur anthropologist Andrew Krucoff to don his trusty pith helmet, enlist earnest documentarian Nikola Tamindzic, and head to the remotest depths of the Central Village — the native habitat of this unusual people — to investigate. After the jump, his reports of beer pong, fake IDs, and the dreaded Look of Shame.

We certainly hope you haven't forgotten young Julia Diaco, the New Jersey rich girl who was busted in April of 2004 for dealing drugs to her classmates from her freshman dorm room at NYU (a smart businesswoman knows there's less overhead if you do it from home). The young entrepreneur and savior of many a self-medicating student was facing up to 25 years in jail after originally pleading guilty, but after completing 18 months of rehab she has been permitted to cop to lesser charges, which got her 5 years on probation.

Deep down, we all just want to be loved. Everyone. Even a bigshot New York Times writer with a weekly column and an Academy Awards blog and amusing new video clips and the freedom, it seems, to write about nearly whatever he wants, whenever he wants, from wherever he wants, for the world's leading newspaper — Mr. Run Amok, but in a good way — just wants to be loved.

Meanwhile, at NYU:

In case there was any question about the lines between terrorism and homosexuality, the New York Blade reports that a February protest by New York University Law school's gay advocacy group OUTlaw was under government surveillance. NBC News reported last week the group was categorized as "potentially violent" by the homo-hating sleuths at the Pentagon. It was also revealed that a "Don t Ask, Don t Tell" protest at University of California Santa Cruz, which included a gay kiss-in, was also labeled as a "credible threat" of terrorism.

This forwarded-a-bit email made it into our inboxes a little while ago:

In a bit of housekeeping, we must take a moment to wish a belated but very happy 21st birthday to Gawker Media Intern and Pool Boy Scott Kidder, who hit the big two-one last Friday. (Sadly, that's one less minor to whom's delinquency Denton can contribute.) After we came into possession of a certain, much-forwarded email, however, we've been concerned that li'l Scotty, who is studying this semester at NYU's program in Florence, might not having been able to celebrate the milestone with the reckless debauchery the occasion demands:

Contrary to popular belief, the worst enemy of the celebrity class is not the tabloidian gossip culture. Rather, it's education — specifically, education within earshot of someone with a blog:

• In the video for Lindsay Lohan's next single, Confessions of a Broken Heart, watch for lots of ripped-from-the-headlines spousal feuds and tearful rosary-clutching. And to think people say the girl can't act. [R&M (3rd item)]
• Splash News photo agency is suing OK! sister publications the Sun and the Express for 5 months' worth of unpaid fees. Surely Splash understands that when millions are being spent on fuzzy pictures of what may or may not be the Federletus, paparazzi bills are going to have to wait. [Page Six]
• CBS News president Andrew Heyward's contract is reportedly up this year, and chances of renewal are looking slim. Feign surprise, we dare you. [Lowdown (2nd item)]
• While NYU grapples with the loss of prized student Mary-Kate Olsen, we can all take solace in knowing her presence may be replaced with that of actress Amanda Bynes. [Scoop (2nd item)]
• Did Renée Zellwegger leave Kenny Chesney because of her romance with folk rocker Damien Rice? And can she maybe stop fucking musicians long enough to sign the divorce papers? [Page Six]
• Bad news for The Gays: The 2006 FDNY calendar just might be the last. [Gatecrasher]

The life of the NYU student is not entirely wine, roses, and speedballs:

We're never really able to get ourselves too terribly worked up over these periodic grad-student-union kerfuffles. Perhaps this is because we received enough pro-union indoctrination in our childhood to last us a lifetime. Perhaps this is because we never much liked our TAs. Perhaps this is because we were rejected from Yale. Or perhaps it's because the bedraggled grad students never had a celebrity spokesperson.

For the record, NYU's Water Street Residence is at 200 Water Street, off Fulton Street, immediately adjacent to the South Street Seaport.

This morning, thanks to the Sun, we're very much reconsidering our decision not to go into academia.