The United States may now negotiate with terrorists, but one hero mom who had her nightmare son arrested after he started slaughtering hostage-chickens earlier this week certainly does not.

The bizarre story comes courtesy of Limestone County, Alabama, where 18-year-old Haden Smith was reportedly upset by the broken relationship between himself and his girlfriend. Somewhere along the line, Smith apparently decided a chicken massacre was the way to smooth things over. He also wanted his mom to be the one to make the first move, and instructed her to call his girlfriend’s parents to begin negotiations for peace and love and a few brave chickens. Via Fox 19:

Deputies say the situation started when Smith texted his mother, threatening to kill one of her chickens every 15 minutes until she contacted his girlfriend’s parents and attempted to mend their broken relationship.

Deputies claim Smith gave his mother a deadline of noon before he started to kill the chickens. They also say he threatened to burn his mother’s house down, kill any deputies that arrived on the scene, and kill himself.

He then began sending his mother picture messages of each chicken he killed at 15-minute intervals, killing six in total before he was arrested, deputies say.

Jesus.

Time to stop fucking that chicken, man.

Contact the author at gabrielle@gawker.com.