Animal researcher Margaret Howe Lovatt studied dolphins near the U.S. Virgin Islands in the '60s. She happened upon a pubescent male named Peter and one thing led to another and...you know.

Seriously for real, that's how she explains it in the upcoming BBC Four doc The Girl Who Talked to Dolphins. Very liberal use of the word "talk" in that title, don't ya think ;)?

Howe Lovatt says:

In the beginning when he would get rambunctious and had this need, I would put him on the elevator and say, "You go play with the girls for a day"...I was just easier to incorporate [dolphin handjobs] and let it happen. It was very precious. It was very gentle...Again it was sexual on his part, it was not sexual on mine. Sensuous perhaps. It would just become part of what was going on, like an itch. Just get rid of that. Scratch it and we'll be done. Move on. And that's really all it was. I was there to get to know Peter. That was part of Peter.

Yes. Peter's peter was definitely part of Peter.

Howe Lovatt's approach to manual sex with a dolphin sounds like that of a wife who fell out of love with her husband 10 years ago. But at least she can still smile about it. She is also infinitely less creepy than the dude who fucked the female dolphin.

The Girl Who Talked to Dolphins will premiere on the UK's BBC Four on June 17. I'm going to watch the shit out of it. It will not be sexual for me. Sensuous perhaps.