Tiny Singer Ariana Grande Repeatedly Plagued by Demons from Hell
Bouncy-haired singer Ariana Grande—whom you may know from her hit single "The Way," or because the teens in your life are always sending Keeks about her to Facerange on their Blueberries®—seems like her life would be all catchy hooks, and bubblegum sunsets, and buying a new pair of earrings that you love. And it probably is! But, as she recently told Complex magazine, it's also full of demons from hell who constantly terrorize her and wreak havoc on her vulnerable psyche.
The interview, which began with a discussion of Ariana's favorite menu item* at "Stir Crazy," an Asian grille in Boca Raton, quickly veered into a discussion of the strong presence of Satan that clouds her life.
We were in Kansas City a few weeks ago and went to this haunted castle and were so excited. The next night we wanted to go to Stull Cemetery, which is known as one of the seven gates to hell on Earth. The Pope won’t fly over it—
I love that you know that. Sorry, go on.
Ariana explained that, while in the car (presumably en route to the entrance of hell located in Kansas City), she became aware of a number of phenomena which signaled to her that demon horrors were afoot. Phenomena such as a bad smell and there being a fly there.
I felt this sick, overwhelming feeling of negativity over the whole car and we smelled sulfur, which is the sign of a demon, and there was a fly in the car randomly, which is another sign of a demon.
Once she saw that fly, buzzing randomly around everyone's heads and shooting off random ideas like "a restaurant where you bring your own ingredients and they cook it for you" and "What if we wore masks to the grocery store?" Ariana Grande knew it was time to quit the scene. She lowered her car's power window and apologized to the peaceful demons whose downtime she had disrupted.
I rolled down the window before we left and said, “We apologize. We didn’t mean to disrupt your peace.”
Then she took a picture.
Then I took a picture and there are three super distinct faces in the picture...
The faces in the picture belonged to "textbook demons."
—they’re faces of textbook demons.
There you have it. An open-and-shut case of clear textbook demonry. She snapped the pic, she examined the pic, and what did she find in the pic but a classic tableau of beasts from hell: three little devils—demon, demon, demon—all in a row.
Naturally, the Complex interviewer asked to see the photo of textbook demons Ariana had snapped. Unfortunately, she had already deleted it.
The next day I tried to send the picture to my manager and it said, “This file can’t be sent, it’s 666 megabytes.” I’m not kidding.
Here's another thing Ariana said:
I used to have a folder called “Demons” that had pictures with all the screencaps in it, but then weird things started happening to me so I deleted it.
When pressed for details about the weird things that started happening, Ariana described the night a mass of evil "black matter" implanted disturbing visions in her head to prevent her from sleeping. (It actually sounds like she might have been experiencing auditory and visual hallucinations in conjunction with a bout of sleep paralysis, but her version of the story is more interesting.)
I was going to sleep about two weeks ago. I had just gotten off the phone and as soon as I closed my eyes I heard this really loud rumble right by my head. When I opened my eyes it stopped immediately, but when I closed my eyes it started again with whispers. Every time I closed my eyes I started seeing these really disturbing images with, like, red shapes. Then I opened my eyes and got back on the phone and was like, “I’m really scared and I don’t want to go to bed tonight.” And then I scooched over to the left side of my bed, because that’s where the best service is in my room, and there was this massive black matter. I don’t know what it was.
What?!?
It was like a cloud of something black right next to me. I started crying. I was on the phone like, “What do I do, what do I do?” and they said, “Tell it to eff off.” I thought, I’m not going to do that. It’s going to upset it, so I’m just going to chill and not feed into it because all it wants is fear. It feeds on fear. I watched it move to the front of my bed and then I fell asleep on the phone. I woke up and it was gone. The next night my friend Tyler was staying with me. She said she was trying to sleep and her body felt paralyzed almost, and she described the same exact thing I saw.
"Alrighty then," her interview concluded. Then he asked a question about her music video.
*"chicken and tofu with brown rice"
[Image via Getty]