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• PETA places stickers featuring Anna Wintour's luverly visage on urinals, knowingly located at venues frequented by the Voguester. We're counting on you to catch some images of the campaign (at Da Silvano, La Esquina, and the Four Seasons) before management is forced to remove the handiwork. [Page Six]
• Madonna waltzes into the Mercer Kitchen and seduces hotelier Andre Balazs for a solid 10 minutes. Balazs's girlfriend, actress Uma Thurman, seemed to not notice — or, perhaps, care. Madge ain't much competition these days. [Lowdown]
• As a nice complement to Katie Couric's own retardation, a poet within NBC has penned a holiday-appopriate ode to the Today princess: "'Tis right before seven, On the set of 'Today,' There struts a smug diva, Who wants things her way." [Page Six]
• The New Yorker's Ken Auletta rips Times publisher Arthur Sulzberger, Jr. a new one in the latest issue of the mag. [R&M]
• How does Jessica Simpson deal with an ugly breakup? Collagen, natch, because your first rebound hook-up goes so much more smoothly when you're sporting a nice set of DSLs. [Scoop (last item)]