This image was lost some time after publication.

A few frightened readers have informed us that restaurateur Nello Ballan took out a cryptic full-page ad in Saturday's Post, which reportedly read something like the following:

NOTE FROM NELLO BALAN

MAIESTATE TANTUM
A NECK HARDENED FROM
700 YEARS OF NOBILITY

COMPARE TO

A VENOMOUS
LIMBLESS AND SOFT
OPHIDIAN NECK

Uh, would you like a side of coherence with your crazy? Now we haven't seen the actual page, so if you've not yet used the paper to line the litterbox, please do send us a scan. As for deciphering the above jibberish, we figure this has something to do with Balan's claim that he's a descendent of Vlad the Impaler. The ad, then, is a form of public defense: it's because of his hard-necked heritage that he keeps beating his girlfriend. See? Not his fault.

[Image via New York Social Diary]