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Well, you'll be happy to hear that the purely altruistic GUCCI/ Unicef fundraiser for Malawi went off smashingly last night at the UN; no thanks to you, cheapskate, who didn't even buy a single $2000 ticket. Luckily for Africa, people like Madonna, Ashton Kutcher, Tom Cruise, and J-Lo are willing to put the welfare of refugees before their own needs. Some of them even showed up in new Gucci outfits, in order to help the company, which is a force for good in this world. Madonna took on the accusations "made mainly by bloggers" that the event is a sickening, decadent fashion orgy, a sham passed off as a benefit for a charity that is run by the co-director of the Kabbalah Center . The Material Girl doesn't pay attention to that talk, because it's that same old "controversy surrounding anything that involves change." You go! And Gucci CEO Mark Lee clarified that it is just "a coincidence" that Gucci is opening a new flagship store in NYC this Friday. To emphasize the point, they even scrubbed the original press release!

Several different outlets saw the line in the original announcement that said the Malawi party "will celebrate the opening of Gucci's New York 5th Avenue Flagship store." Well, that one seems to have been disappeared [For accuracy's sake, no doubt].

In one of those bizarre moments that can only happen when the gravitational pull of two celebrities in such close proximity to each other bends the very fabric of space time and society, ice queen Vogue editor Anna Wintour and crazed Scientologist Tom Cruise ended up in a bidding war for a $350,000 soccer game with David Beckham. Neither won. But Katie Holmes, Cruise's "wife," did get the satisfaction of stealing Wintour's bob.

Now, please enjoy this glamorous yet newsworthy video of the night. (Photo via WENN)