Late-night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel is, or will soon be, fucking Ben Affleck. Or at least he kind of wishes. [NYP]
Actress Bai Ling arrested in saddest celebrity shoplifting case: $16 in batteries and magazines. [AP]
Like the Cedars Sinai mental ward, Britney Spears' father can no longer control her insanity or voracious appetite for cash — at least according to Britney's lawyer. [Mirror]
Ellen Page, the Juno girl, just signed to her third project in two months, some sort of psychological thriller, and could probably also do your job more efficiently and heart-warmingly if given the chance. [EW]
Here's Victoria Beckham's room at the Waldorf-Astoria. [Faded Youth]
Rapper Tony Yayo, an "associate" of 50 Cent, had a beef with another rapper and actually went after the guy's 14-year-old son. Because of a t-shirt the kid was wearing. Everything's fine, though, because Yayo will pay for his crime by gently helping teach people to read. [AP]
