Rupert Murdoch's Genetic Destiny Revealed
Sure, you knew Anderson Cooper was the adorable unicorn of TV news anchors, but did you know he is so incredibly magical he can roll his tongue into a "really complicated four-leaf clover?" He can! Tongue-rolling is a genetic trait, but one can't help wonder if Cooper has had some practice. He apparently shows his skills only to certain, uh, special friends, like fellow closeted media personality Barry Diller, who, no joke, compared tongue technique with Cooper at a special retreat in Idaho. Some Google people were there, and the next thing you know, the tonguing had resulted in a big genetic-testing soiree in New York! Here's what Ivanka Trump and Rupert Murdoch said about their DNA at the party:
- Murdoch was tested along with his 99-year-old mother. Murdoch's young wife Wendi said the News Corporation chairman will basically live forever, ha ha haters! "[Wendi Murdoch] was pleased by results that showed Mr. Murdoch had inherited a gene from his mother associated with the heart, and that she is still hale. (His father died of a heart attack at 67.)"
- Ivanka Trump: "I have a very low chance of becoming obese. That makes me exceedingly happy." So deep!
- Jared Kushner, owner of the Observer and Trump's boyfriend: "Ms. Trump said he had not shared his results with her. Asked if she would ditch a suitor if he had unfavorable genetics, she said: 'That’s a tough question. I’m going to say no.' She paused. 'It depends on what came up though.'" So steadfast!
- Barry Diller: Can't roll his tongue! So sad.
The genetic-testing company that threw the party, 23andMe, was founded by Anne Wojcicki, wife of Google co-founder Sergey Brin. It's backed by Wendi Murdoch and movie mogul Harvey Weinstein.
Weinstein was at the party but apparently didn't talk about his test results. We'd lay a 10-spot there's some gorilla and maybe even hyena DNA in the large, hairy, screaming alpha male's system, though.