Friars Roast-Crashing Tom Cruise Reunited with Glib Tormentor Matt Lauer
If Brooke Shields and Tom Cruise could patch things up after Cruise called her a pseudoscience-worshiping devil-thetan incubator (we're paraphrasing), then surely, we thought, Cruise and Matt Lauer could eventually let bygones be bygones. You may remember how the actor and anchorman tussled back in 2005 when Cruise accused Lauer of not personally, personally understanding either Ritalin, postpartum depression, or why the son survived in War of the Worlds. Now, we hear, the Friars Club Roast of Lauer that just concluded in New York featured a surprise, couch-jumping guest. Says KTU reporter Paul Westcott:
Cruise showed up to the roast, and they just hugged it out — literally! A Photoshopped montage of fake Lauer/Cruise buddy pics followed their embrace. Cruise joked that he and Lauer actually speak 3-4 times a day, and that Lauer gave him some great advice: "Hey Top Gun — you think when people come on my show, they don't want to hear about dopy movies?" In a hilarious tweak of Scientology, Cruise was cut off when Lauer's Today Show partner in crime Al Roker came on stage and joked that Cruise couldn't stay long because "the spaceship is about to leave soon."
Sadly, their weak sauce banter was no match for the acerbic Katie Couric lines that followed:
*"Wow, I haven't received as much applause since I told [my bosses at CBS] that I was considering leaving." "How cool was it that Tom Cruise came? Matt, don't worry about that interview. Tom wanted to be the only man in the room who people thought was gay."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Katie, for a Suppressive Person, you sure can manage some zingers! Just don't be surprised when you get the obligatory letter from Bert Fields, and remember: you, too, can be kneecapped.