Hey, Washington! The Obamas are coming to town, and their daughters, Malia and Sasha, start school tomorrow at Sidwell Friends, Chelsea Clinton's alma mater. Why Sidwell? For the privacy.

Yeah, good luck with that. Sidwell's tuition runs nearly $30,000 a year, but that's a pittance for an enterprising tabloid. What's stopping the National Enquirer from planting a junior informant to cozy up to the Obama kids? Failing that, they could simply shell out milk money for cameraphone photos and text-messaged reports of their playground misadventures.

The notion that paying for an exclusive school will shelter Malia and Sasha Obama from an omnivorous media beast seems delusionally outdated. Instead, the kids will have to cultivate a steely reserve like their father's. It's hard to imagine a gaffe-free childhood — but that seems to be their only option.

(Photo by AP)