Awful Looking Nic Cage Remake May Find an Audience After All!
Remember how you emailed a friend that trailer for some failed movie? One that by all appearances looked like a total misfire and couldn't get a distributor? Even though thespian powerhouse Nic Cage was the lead? Remember how you laughed?
You fool! It was announced yesterday that Werner Herzog's remake of the famous Harvey Kietel peen-flashing crime drama, The Bad Lieutenant, will premiere at the Toronto film festival in September! Lieutenant will be featured along with new films by the Coen Bros and Michael Moore. The original 1992 bad-cop-gets-worse flick is credited for deftly capturing New York's signature 1980's grit and for giving Harvey Keitel his 'Serious Actor' bona fides. The remake doesn't look, uh, as promising.
It features the thespian stylings of rapper/custom car enthusiast Xzibit and includes the line "What? You don't have a lucky crack pipe?" delivered in the mystifying way only Nicolas Cage could. See you in Toronto!
P.S. We're calling shenanigans if we don't see Cage's ween.