Jeremy Piven goes nuts on Chris Kattan, Robert Pattinson parties in Queens, Michael Jackson is finally buried, Bethenny Frankel hates Gwyneth Paltrow, Jesus Luz wants to be a DJ, Mariah Carey is freaking out and Victoria Beckham debuts on Idol.

  • Whatever you do, don't make any sushi jokes around Jeremy Piven — he's sort of sensitive to them. Chris Kattan found this out backstage at a taping of Alexa Chung's MTV series. [Gatecrasher]

  • British actor/sissy-boy Robert Pattinson is so afraid of New York women that he's spending his idle time hanging out in bars in Long Island City, just to avoid being recognized by girls in Manhattan. [Page Six]

  • Michael Jackson has finally been laid to rest at a cemetery in the Hollywood Hills, but the Jackson family is refusing to make the exact location public out of fear that someone might try to steal his body or something. [Mirror]

  • Bethenny Frankel hates Gwyneth Paltrow, so much so that she said Gwyneth makes her want to staple her eyelids shut. [Gatecrasher]

  • Madonna's fetus fuck-toy, Jesus Luz, has decided that he's tired of modeling and is stretching his wings to try to become a prefessional DJ. This sounds about right. [Page Six]

  • Kyra Sedgwick says that being ripped off by Bernie Madoff has forced she and Kevin Bacon to embrace the "simpler things" in life. [Gatecrasher]

  • Mariah Carey, feeling pressured by Whitney Houston's new release, is said to be feeling enormous anxiety about finishing up her new album. [Page Six]

  • Well here's something different: Terri Irwin issued a denial that Steve Irwin's remains were fed to a crocodile in Australia after his death. [Mirror]

  • Victoria Beckham looked ridiculously skeletal when she showed up for her debut as a judge on American Idol. She was also criticized by the show's staff for being wooden and too nice. [Daily Mail]